they’re the kid who gets stuck holding the door for everyone, but they’re grinning the entire time
brave enough to be the one to order pizza
protective of everyone, it doesn’t matter who they are
loud and powerful
beautiful and radiant as the freaking sun you will remember them
cons:
loud as hell
big on trying to push people far out of their comfort zones
tend to be conceited
you know that kid who lectures everyone about how they should be better people and then just sort of turns around and bullies the class jerk? they’re probably a gryffindor
Honestly the scene at the end of The Homecoming Job where the doctor says “that’s not the way the world works,” and Nate replies “so change the world” fucks me up so bad because that’s it, that’s the show, that’s the premise of the entire damn show
these thieves and criminals changing the world the only way they know how, with the skillsets they have, and sure, maybe they are criminals but they’re doing what they can, how they can to change the world.
Leia can fall asleep any place relatively quiet that isn’t actually moving under her.
She did not—contrary to Han and Luke’s teasing—pick that up during the Rebellion; she learned how to hunker down and drop away from the world when she was Alderaan’s special diplomatic envoy to the Imperial Senate. Long nights spent poring over complicated trade agreements or debating the exact credits necessary for the revitalization of the Hosnian Sector (read: extermination of non-humans.) She learned to steal what sleep she could because they would be back there come morning with the same dry texts, the same dull men; the same compromises made while she carefully didn’t think about her father; somewhere in the galaxy quietly fostering rebellion.
(Something she doesn’t talk about all that often: not all her memories of the Empire are war and blood and running and terror. There was paperwork too; and state dinners and heated discussions about subsidies. Imperial generals carried holos of their children just like everyone else. And she had hated it—she was never built for diplomacy; that was her mother’s skill and the Queen was always apologizing for her, this wayward daughter who wore her disdain and dislike on her sleeve and didn’t know what “compromise” meant—or even her father’s art, no one could look the flower but be the rebellious serpent under it quite like Bail—but Leia remembers all the same.
The Empire was terrible; the Empire was an enemy to be broken and destroyed so the Republic could bloom again. But it was not all terror.)
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulous
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
everyone’s always like “dragons in the past/ robots in the future” but consider this
dragons in the future
selective breeding and novelty science of winged lizards goes a little too far and then when they escape they continue evolving
futuristic megacities trying to safeguard themselves against dragons which might come along hoping to find a snack
huge flocks of dragons flying south for the winter
dragonlings rooting through rubbish bins behind restaurants and being shooed away
*slams fists on desk* YOU’RE HIRED
Dragons adapting for different urban environments: sewer dragons, alley dragons, dragons that build their nests atop skyscrapers.
Zoos putting wire mesh over the top of their enclosures to keep dragons from swooping in and stealing their animals - and finding that even that isn’t enough.
The impact of introducing a major new predator into the wild, and how the ecosystem rebalances itself around them (or doesn’t).
They never stop aging - they only get bigger. Geneticists try to make humans immortal by isolating the genes that control the dragons’ growth and implanting them into humans, with disastrous results.
SPACE DRAGONS. IN SPACE. Nobody knows what they eat, how they breathe or how they survive, but they’re a threat to the newly-developed interplanetary passenger shuttles.
Political schisms over the revelation that dragons are sapient.
@littlestartopaz did I have a story I was supposed to be writing you concerning this?
I was initially very confused by @sauropolis-princeps‘s assertion that they were knowledgeable on “everything from aardonyx to zby” as far as dinosaurs were concerned… until I looked it up.
Zby is an extinct genus of turiasaurian sauropod dinosaur known from the Late Jurassic of the Lourinhã Formation in central west Portugal. It contains a single species, Zby atlanticus. It is named after Georges Zbyszewski, who studied the geology and paleontology of Portugal.
I guess someone thought “Zbyszewskisaurus” would be too confusing.
“kids today with their smartphones and sexting and naked pictures are so irresponsible!!!” well in the 1820′s the Emperor of Brazil D. Pedro I sent letters to his lover calling himself “big devil” and “fiery little fire” containing drawings of his own dick and actual pubic hair and now that’s historical document so
when i was working in special collections i had a WWII letter that had a little squiggle and said “turn me upside down!” on the paper so I did that and it was a drawing of a dick ejaculating. #romance
then when I told a co-worker she said I was lucky it didn’t have any “suspicious stains” accompanying the letter which HAS happened on archival (19th century and earlier) letters before.
i mean like at least when you get a sext no one a hundred years later is gonna have to look at your jizz stains as historical evidence. which i am super grateful for.
ngl I want an eventual Ben/Leia reunion for no other reason than to watch 6'3" brick shithouse Adam Driver crumble like a Nature Valley bar all over tiny Carrie Fisher
I work at a small pet store, and we sell two things in abundance: dog food and crickets. As for crickets, we sell them at twenty for $1. Now, the store is almost always busy, so we don’t have time to actually count out twenty crickets. We usually eyeball it, keeping our guesstimations on the generous side. Customers dig it because they usually get a few more crickets than they asked for, and we get to save time and generate a little good will.
One day a customer comes in and asks for one hundred large crickets. Let’s call him Clyde. No problem, I tell him. As I’m gathering the crickets into the bag, I ask him about what he’s feeding them to, and we get to talking about lizards, tarantulas, and other cricket-eaters. Clyde seems alright at this point - I genuinely enjoy talking about animals with the customers.
I hand Clyde the bag of about one hundred crickets, and he takes a long look at it, turning it this way and that. He looks at me and skeptically asks if there’s really a hundred crickets there. “Looks like 70 or 80,” he says. Mind you, everyone at the store is very good at guesstimating how many crickets are in a bag; we all know what 20, 50, and 100 crickets look like, and in all the time I’ve worked there, I’ve never been questioned by a customer.
My immediate emotional response was somewhere between annoyance and wounded pride. So, I did the reasonable, logical thing: I took the bag back, and I told him I’d count every single cricket, ‘cause I’ll be damned if he doesn’t getexactly one hundred crickets.
So, I painstakingly count each cricket by dropping them one by one from the first bag into a new bag. He watches me the whole time, making comments here and there like “unnecessary” and “I’m sure it was a hundred.” But nay, I tell him. “I want to make absolutely sure that you get the crickets you paid for.”
As I count my hundredth cricket, I look at the remainder in the bag. Lo and behold, there are ten crickets leftover. A whole fifty cents! As I hand Clyde the new bag of exactly one hundred crickets and toss the rest back into the bin, I thank him for keeping me and the store honest, and assure him that I’ll count his crickets every time he comes in from now on.
Labels are meant to help you make sense of yourself. They are not for other people to dictate, and they are not set in stone. You are allowed to shed old labels, and to take new ones when it feels appropriate, without shame. You are, have been, and will always be 100% real and 100% valid. You are you, and you are wonderful.
RIP to the 29 people who were killed when a suicide bomber blew himself up in a football stadium in Iskanderiyah, Iraq today. And get well soon to the 60 people wounded by the attack. My thoughts and prayers are with them, their family and their friends.
Just told one of my friends I owed her a favor and her immediate response was “I’ll call you when I need someone murdered” and without thinking I said “Do you want them to suffer or just disappear” so that’s who I am in the friend group
If you see someone in a wheelchair stand up or walk, just keep your mouth shut. They either were prescribed that wheelchair and their insurance agreed they needed it, or they became so desperate for the mobility the chair would provide that they paid a lot of money out of pocket (because they don’t have insurance or they have a shitty ableist doctor or whatever).
It’s estimated that around 85% of full time wheelchair users can stand or walk to some extent. Think of it like glasses: the majority of people who wear them can technically see without them, but they reduce pain, improve the quality of the wearer’s life, and enable millions of people to do things they otherwise couldn’t. A wheelchair is no different. In fact, even part time users legitimately need their chair, just as people who need reading glasses legitimately need their glasses. In addition to paralysis, some reasons for using a wheelchair include pain, fatigue, fragile joints/bones, vertigo, and many, many other debilitating symptoms.
Using a wheelchair is already stressful enough as it is, thanks to iffy accessibility. Please don’t add to a disabled person’s difficulties by calling them a faker.
have finally gotten off work (have one day off, have to work Easter, boooo) and am trying to relax by watching project runway on my dvr
keep getting infuriated by project runway going “baroque = medieval”
me: “baroque is 1600-1750 - you’re not even anywhere NEAR medieval you’re past the Renaissance and straight into the Enlightenment and early modern period and while baroque is a synonym for overwrought and fancy you keep acting like the baroque period is synonymous with the medieval period and just noooooo why what this is terrible your challenge inspiration included straight-up classic jousting and knights and a kingly-type guy”
people who go really hard over like hating villains and hating their fanbases and being so disappointed in anyone who so much as shows the slightest appreciation for anything even slightly morally impure are like the obnoxious vegans of fandom
what’s especially infuriating about this attitude is that the goal posts get moved constantly. “it’s fine to like villains as long as you publicly reassure everyone that you’re not romanticizing them”; “it’s fine to like villains as long as you spend just as much time appreciating the heroic characters”; “being actively interested in a villain’s motivations just proves that you’ll do anything to rationalize their behavior”; “it’s not okay to like villains who may be mentally ill because that’s bad representation.”
people might try to frame it as just being concerned that not everyone is being healthy about their villain-love. but really it’s just about getting you to shut up about something they don’t like.
I love villains, the darker normally the better, anyone from Peter Hale, to Loki , to the Joker; even Hannibal. Do I romanticize them sometimes, sure, but I know exactly who and what they are and just how crazy or depraved they may be. There is nothing wrong with finding joy or common ground or even just general interest in the darker side of things. Love what you love, hate what you hate, if other people don’t like it that’s their problem. Don’t let anyone try to bring you down for something you like. Villains. Heroes. Saints. Sinners. Reality. Fiction. You do you.
I’m fine with liking villains. Hell, I like villains! On some level I can accept romanticizing their actions too. But it’s woobifying them I don’t appreciate, trying to erase the bad shit they’ve done and saying they’re “misunderstood” or “Not the real villain” when they’ve done horrible, horrible things for often selfish reasons. They just overlook killing innocent (fictional) people. It kind of fucks up their narrative as a villain when you choose to ignore horrible things they’ve done. And that’s not saying they can’t be sympathetic, just saying that it’s a big part of their character your ignoring when you glance over the fucked up shit or try to excuse it. If they’ve done bad shit, that’s fine! You don’t have to jump through hoops to defend them, they’re villains! Embrace the darkside, nothing wrong with indulging in it with fiction.
Exactly. Love villains all you want but quit blaming the people they hurt for not being understanding enough of their hard past.
One helen is sufficient good looks to launch one thousand ships, and to cause the destruction by fire of an entire city. The objective standards of Ship Launching and Arson may now be used to analyze feminine beauty. […] The table below will be of assistance:
- Attohelen (ah) 10-18 helens: Light up a Lucky While Strolling past a Shipyard
- Femtohelen (fh) 10-15 helens: Burn a Dinner Candle & Spit a Toothpick into a Water Glass
- Picohelen (ph) 10-12 helens: Barbecue a Couple of Steaks & Toss an Inner Tube Into the Pool
- Nanohelen (nh) 10-9 helens: Send the Old Man on a Canoe Trip & Build a Good Roaring Blaze in the Fireplace
- Microhelen (µh) 10-6 helens: Christen a Motor Boat & Start a Grass Fire
- Millihelen (mh) 10-3 helens: Launch One Homeric Warship & Burn Down a House
- Centihelen (ch) 10-2 helens: Incinerate a City Block & Launch Christopher Columbus’ Entire Fleet: The “Niña” (40 tons), the “Pinta” (50 tons) and the “Santa Maria” (100 tons)
- Decihelen (dh) 10-1 helens: Torch the Central Business District of Oakland, California, & Launch the Clipper Ship “Flying Cloud” (1783 tons)
- Helen (h): Raze One City & Launch the WWI US Battleship “Delaware” (20,000 tons)
- Dekahelen (dah) 10 helens: Oversee the Incendiary Bombing of Ten Cities and Launch the Aircraft Carriers “Theodore Roosevelt” (91,487 tons) and “Dwight D. Eisenhower (91,487 tons)
- Hectohelen (hh) 102 helens: Instigate a Major Modern Conflict & Launch the Oil Platform “Stratfjord B” (with ballast, 899,360 tons), the Supertanker “Seawise Giant” (624,038 dead- weight tonnage); the Oil/Ore Carrier “World Gala” (282,460 dwt tonnage) and the Bulk-Ore Tanker “Hoei Maru” (208,000 dwt tonnage)
- Kilohelen (kh) 103 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Million Greek Warships & Spark a Nuclear Confrontation
- Megahelen (Mh) 106 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Billion Greek Warships & Blow Up the World
- Gigahelen (Gh) 109 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Trillion Greek Warships & Destroy the Solar System
- Terahelen (Th) 1012 helens: Launch the Equivalent of One Thousand Trillion Greek Warships and Make Serious Inroads on the Welfare of the Galaxy
It is to be hoped that beauty exceeding the Hectohelen class evades even the most ambitious.
can someone explain the alignment chart for me but in like, the simplest wording possible lmao
lawful good: i want to do the right thing, and following society’s rules is the best way to do that
neutral good: i want to do what’s right, and i’m willing to bend or break the rules as long as no one gets hurt
chaotic good: i’m willing to do whatever it takes as long as it’s to do the right thing
lawful neutral: following the rules of society is the most important thing, and that matters more to me than doing what’s right
true neutral: i just want myself and the people i care about to be happy
chaotic neutral: i want my freedom, and i don’t care what i have to do to keep it
lawful evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is my primary goal, but i follow my own code of morals even when it’s inconvenient
neutral evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is the my primary goal, and while i’ll do what it takes to achieve it, i also won’t go out of my way to do unnecessary damage
chaotic evil: i relish in destruction and want to do as much damage as possible while i try to achieve my primary goal
my #1 hair advice to girls is just. cut it all off. try a pixie cut at least once.
“ohh but I don’t have the face for one”
okay but 90% of men have equally short hair and nobody tells them they “don’t have the face for it”.
free yourself. try a pixie cut.
and if you don’t like it, the great part about hair is that it grows out. rock a beanie or some bandannas for a few months and your hair will be longer again.
okay, most of what i do re: harry potter is criticism, and hp is flawed in such a number of ways, but sometimes i just sit here and
i mean, you all have a comprehension of just how drastically harry potter changed literature, yeah? like. it revitalized it. it blew the literary scene apart. the new york times had to create a separate bestseller’s list for children’s lit just because harry potter existed. harry potter changed reading.
so many people on tumblr were born in the ‘90s. when the first book came out, most of us couldn’t read. but we grew up in a world where everyone, everyone, everyone was reading harry potter, no matter how old they were; we grew up in a world where the most popular story in the entire world was a fantasy children’s book.
it’s sort of difficult to grasp, sometimes, the extent to which harry potter is not just a book. the extent to which what is basically a series of fun, interesting, and fairly good novels is such an enormous, enormous part of our lives, a cultural touchstone, a truly universal reference point, something so many people have shaped their lives around, a foundation for all of the stories we would read and watch for the rest of our lives– for so many of us, the first books we ever loved
the extent to which so many of us can’t call ourselves “fans” of harry potter, because it would like being a “fan” of, like, having lungs.
it’s not even about liking it or disliking it. it’s just a part of us.
This is kind of what I think about when I critique parts of Harry Potter. Like, yeah, there are totally things that could have been done better, I’m not going to question you on that. But on the other hand I sit around and talk about how there are parts of the human body that are wildly inefficient (like the digestive system is a huge calorie demand? the immune system is programmed to spike a fever in the hopes that the bug fries before your brain does? the entire menstrual cycle is literally the dumbest thing ever? why are you like this evolution?) but…it’s how the world is.
