Hey so I know some of my followers might be nervous about april fool’s day coming up so I just wanted to proclaim that I will NOT be linking any screamers on my blog that day.
What if you went to a parallel universe and were going to meet your evil self but the version of you there is actually really nice and you’re the asshole
Imagine your bestfriend becoming a celebrity. Like they become a famous actor and they suddenly have a bunch of die hard fans. And you’re sitting there like, “You guys are crying over this fucking dork?! I’ve know her for 10 years and she’s a loser like me.” I imagine that’s what every celebrity’s bestfriend thinks when they are out together.
the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
A 16 yr old boy screamed this at me after I pushed his desk (which he was sitting in) so hard that it almost hit the wall.
I warned this boy THREE TIMES to leave me alone. To leave my possessions alone. To stop putting his feet on my books which were under my chair. To stop putting his knees against the back of my chair and pushing, which rocked me back and forth.
I told this boy THREE TIMES to leave me alone and the last time I told him. “I’ve warned you three times now. Stop, or you are gonna regret it.”
To which he taunted. “Ooooh, Dunn, sooo scared.”
So he did it again.
And I lost it. The camels back didn’t have a chance, it snapped like a kit kat.
I turned around, put my hands on his desk and as I screamed every bit of profanity at him at volumes that I’m sure were heard down the hall, and I shoved. Every ounce of anger and frustration went into that push. I pushed that desk (he was still in it.) so hard that it parted the two empty desks behind him and he almost hit the wall.
Everyone around me was stunned, but then the boys sitting beside me JUMPED to their feet and started applauding, cause someone FINALLY DID IT! Someone FINALLY stood up to the bully.
As they start to clap the teacher jumps to her feet and points to the door. “HALLWAY NOW!”
And I’m just standing there, sobbing. “I just wanted him to leave me alone. I just wanted to be left alone.”
As I was walking around the desk (people are still applauding.) the bully snapped out of his daze and jumped to his feet. “DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT PSYCHO BITCH DID!?”
I turned on a dime. “YOU WANNA SEE PSYCHO BITCH! I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU PSYCHO BITCH!” And I practically launched myself in his general direction. I say practically, because as my two besties scrambled to their feet to tackle me, my teacher grabbed the back of my shirt mid air and threw me into the hallway.
“YOU HALLWAY! AND YOU MISTER! OFFICE! NOW!”
“BUT I’M INNOCENT!” He tried to argue.
The boys that sat in the next aisle over stood and said ‘Ms Fye, she asked him to stop. She asked him to stop three times. We heard it.’”
She wrote him a hall pass. “You go to the office. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. And if you aren’t there sitting in a chair waiting for me, then we’re calling truente.”
The boy walked out the room gesturing like “you know you want it.” But the teacher shoved him down the hall.
After he turned the corner she turned to me and asked. “What the HELL happened?”
And all I could say (as I was crying) was “I just wanted to be left alone. I just wanted him to leave me and my stuff and my desk and my books alone. But he wouldn’t. He kept pushing my chair.He kept putting his feet on my books under the desk. He kept moving my gym bag. I just wanted to be left alone.”
She hugged me, promised me that she was going to move me, that I was never going to have to see him again. She sent me to the restroom and walked back into the classroom to inform the class that I was going to be sitting on the other side of the room. And the boys that sat next to me took it it upon themselves to save me the hassle of going back to the scene of the crime and forming a life chain, passing my things over from one kid to the next to the chair I was going to be sitting in.
I came back to the room and there was no jeering, no rude comments or gestures. Just a couple of boys pointing out that my stuff was in my new seat.
The teacher went to the office and the boy eventually got 3 day in-school suspension, and a serious tongue lashing from my teacher.
Looking back on it now, I realize how lucky I was I didn’t end up getting suspended or expelled. (Technically I never touched the boy… close… but I never touched him.) In fact, I don’t think my parents even got called. To this day they have no idea how close their daughter came to beating the shit out of a football player.
But the thing that stuck me the most was no one in the class ever treated me like I was crazy. In fact, it freak out this one boy so bad he left me pencils on my desk every day.
I like to think of myself as a non-violent person. But then I remember… that time I almost showed a boy what a psycho bitch really was.
ok but one day tony is like “how the fuck do you afford things. you’re captain america you dont have a goddamned day job.” and steve just looks at him “tony, my bank account has been gathering interest since the forties. im fuckin loaded.”
I’d assumed his account would have been frozen
that is the best comment anyone has added to this post and i want to personally thank you for that
I never tell people off the bat that I’m gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like “you know I’m gay right?” And watch the look of terror on their face.
i like you
One time a guy I know was making really homophobic comments and said to me, “like, what would you do is a lesbian hit on you?” To which I replied, “I’m bi so I’d be okay with that. I’ve never seen someone backtrack so quickly.
for anyone interested these are paso fino horses and this gait is natural! they are the smoothest ride with no bumpy movements. you could practically drink juice and not once would it spill on your face!
In case you still don’t understand how badly women have had it, when anaesthetic was first invented doctors weren’t allowed to give it to women who were giving birth because the church said that the pain of childbirth was God punishing women for not being men
For those wondering how to respectfully mourn Mr. Nimoy in his own traditions, rather than using the Christian iconography that is so prevalent in our culture, and yet so incredibly inappropriate, this is how.
no you know what sucks about this? you know what makes this hurt? Leonard Nimoy was so unproblematic. Leonard Nimoy was a month away from his next birthday. Leonard Nimoy quit smoking over thirty years ago. Leonard Nimoy showed generation upon generation how human and emotional any life form can be. Leonard Nimoy loved every project he did and appreciated his fans no matter where they came from.
they can’t tell that I didn’t write this bit immediately after that one
the six months where I ignored the manuscript are not visible to the naked eye
the bit where I put my head in my hands and muttered “I have no idea what I’m doing” takes place in the single space between the period and the next capital letter.
As soon as I shove that character in, she has always been there
and someone will probably say that she’s the emotional center
and the book couldn’t have been written without her
and nobody will know that I thought of her three thousand words from the end and scrolled up and shoehorned in a couple of paragraphs near the beginning because, for whatever reason, the story needed an elderly nun
she was almost the cook
and for about ten minutes she was the earnest young village priest
and now she has been there since you started reading.
I am sanding down the places where my editor found splinters
kicking up a fine dust of adjectives and dropped phrases
(Wear a breath mask. Work in a well-ventilated area. Have you seen what excess commas can do to your lungs?)
and eventually it will all be polished to a high shine
if u ever reblog a bunch of stuff from my blog and worry about whether ive noticed all the notifications yes. i have. i have committed your url to memory. i will never forget your icon. you will be permanently assembled into my ever-growing list of “super cute and lovely people to invite to my birthday party”. welcome to your fate.
