1. Take the binder off. I don’t care how dysphoric you are, I don’t care how bad you feel, I don’t care who is around. DO NOT PUT IT BACK ON.
2. Go to the doctor. Or to a nurse. When I broke my ribs, I went to the nurse at my school because that was free and that worked fine.
3. Accept that there isn’t anything you can do to heal faster. The most likely thing that doc is going to tell you is that you have some bruised ribs, and you need to let them heal. Sometimes broken ribs can break lungs, which is potentially fatal, so no matter what, you still need to do step two, but that’s probably not going to be the case.
4. Treat yo’self. Get some icecream, and settle down with your favorite tv show. This is gonna be rough on your mental health.
5. Tell people that you are injured (make up a bull-riding/bungee-jumping story if you don’t wanna tell em why). This will garner you some sympathy points, and people will go easier on you. Maybe your boss will let you wear a hoodie to work.
6. Don’t reflect too hard on it. The first thing you are going to think is not “oh I have an injury so I better take care of myself” it’s going to be “this is the physical manifestation of my dysphoria and why does being trans always ruin my life”. Try to refrain from that particular thought. You have an injury. Treat it like any other injury or illness you could get.
——————————————
What not to do.
1. Put that damn binder back on. Don’t. I see you tempted. Don’t.
2. I SAID DON’T.
3. You could end up with a warped ribcage if you don’t allow yourself to heal. Don’t put it back on.
4. Really. Don’t.
Here’s the original, for anyone who wanted it.
Good advice from someone who isn’t an asshole who changes people’s important trans posts.
Straight up nobody hugged Harry Potter from the ages of 2-11 can we discuss this
Nobody hugged Severus Snape from the ages of 0 to 38, just saying.
Nobody hugged Severus Snape probably because if someone shows Severus Snape kindness he becomes insanely obsessed with them and refuses to leave them alone and calls them racial slurs when they express that they want to be left alone and will one day walk over their husband’s dead body and cradle their lifeless form in his arms while the baby screams
i actually like asshole couples best like the couples that pick on each other so much and call each other names but it’s okay because you know they’re actually totally in love and none of it is meant in a mean way and every insult is punctuated by a sweet comment to remind the other how much they actually adore them and i’m sorry but there isn’t anything cuter ok
do other girls actually go to bed with their bras on or is that just in movies because i would never wear a bra to bed its like going to bed with tape on your mouth
Him:
This is the vehicle by which they will force feminism down my throat. This is the Trojan Horse Hollywood leftists will use to insist on the idea that women are equal to men in all things, including physique, strength, and logic. And this is the subterfuge they will use to blur the lines between masculinity and femininity, further ruining women for men, and men for wo -
Me, turning to the waitress, screaming:
hi excuse me could you please WITNESS ME????????????
Me:
[hurling every single breadstick on the table at him as if they're projectile weapons]
Waitress, while handing me more breadsticks:
WITNESS!!!!!!!!!!!
Since I know there’s probably a fair amount of you out there who haven’t seen the first three Mad Max movies, I’m here to tell you a li’l secret about them:
All the people complaining about how Max “isn’t the main character” in Fury Road are big ol’ Fake Fanboys cause Max’s primary character trait in literally every movie is “I hate this, why is it happening, please leave me alone to brood in the desert in peace”.
He’s much more the central focus of the plot in the first movie but in Road Warrior and Thunder Dome he basically just gets kidnapped or beat up by wankers in weird bondage outfits and spends the rest of the movie trying to leave as soon as possible while other people are like “please solve our absurd post-apocalyptic problems”. There is not one single point where Max actively seeks out being a hero until it is forced upon him. He ACTIVELY TELLS PEOPLE WHO ASK HIM FOR HELP to take a hike.
Mad Max himself would like nothing better than to never, ever, ever be the main character.
He would also like for people to stop stealing his fucking car.
#he legit does not take his eyes off her for the rest of the movie tho#like from the time cheedo says she’s hurt real bad#his entire goal is to get to her#look at his eyelines on the doof wagon#he is staring at her the whole time#everyone he fights#is just in the way#stopping him from getting to her#im telling you this was the most intimate movie i have ever seen#and im not even talking romantically intimate#like#dont touch me right now
intimate - that’s exactly the right word isn’t it. wow. I’m just gonna sit with that for a while…
…intimacy is what makes this movie tick, but what cultural references do we have for intimacy that aren’t actually just code for ‘romantic attraction’? But…intimacy isn’t that at all.
Max & Furiosa have chemistry from the first time they see each other, it goes sparks-to-tinder during the fight, and is fully underway by, “Does it matter?” They recognize something in each other.
Meeting someone who gets you, and who you totally get, is an overwhelmingly intimate experience. It doesn’t mater what your eventual relationship will be, intimacy will be profound and the devotion proportional. It’s the kind of rare and indefinable connection that movies are always trying to sell us - but they almost never deliver. Trying to convince us that romance or great sex or [insert trope here] are the proof of that connection doesn’t work - it’s not the real deal, and we can tell the difference.
In Max and Furiosa we have intimacy stripped of all else - and it’s almost outside our cultural ability to discern, isn’t it. But we all know it when we see it. And we’re fiercely protective of it.
“but what cultural references do we have for intimacy that aren’t actually just code for ‘romantic attraction’?”
I’m just going to point out that this is probably one of the reasons why slash fanfiction is so popular.
I mean the origins of the name comes from K/S, kirk-slash-spock, and is from their fully developed relationship and just learning each other. And you have acres of episodes where they learn to recognize each other.
This is the classic picture of what slash is, in one image (via Henry Jenkins):
When I try to explain slash to non-fans, I often reference that moment in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan where Spock is dying and Kirk stands there, a wall of glass separating the two longtime buddies.
Both of them are reaching out towards each other, their hands pressed hard against the glass, trying to establish physical contact. They both have so much they want to say and so little time to say it. Spock calls Kirk his friend, the fullest expression of their feelings anywhere in the series. Almost everyone who watches the scene feels the passion the two men share, the hunger for something more than what they are allowed. And, I tell my nonfan listeners, slash is what happens when you take away the glass.
What is interesting in the case of Fury Road however is that it puts the glass back in between.
I’m laughing with delight here - step it UP, yes! Well explained! That’s the core of ‘why slash’ - intimacy well acted and well written is compelling and we cannot help but imagine more about it. At the same time, we (as slash fans/writers) are stillenactinga cultural myth that says ‘true intimacy is romantic in nature,’ - which is not true at all. Yes, there’s non-romantic slash out there, but it’s the exception.
Ah! Okay - I think I finally have an answer for you for ‘why I don’t ship them…yet’ - it’s this issue. In Fury Road the on-screen romantic potential is there - but what makes the relationship so poignant is that they don’t need it in order to have more intimacy than we can almost stand to see.
For me, acting on that potential for romance undermines the the idea that intimacy, real and profound, can exist independent of romance. And that’s important to me personally - my own quirk and no judgement on anyone else.
Yes, just yes to all of this. I think that’s why, even though I’ve read and enjoyed and squeed at fic where they’re romntically/physically intimate, I still hesitate to outright ship them. For me they already (as redshoesnblueskies said) experience this profound sense of intimacy, and while the idea of romance/physical intimacy is fun, in the end for me it doesn’t add anything to their relationship that isn’t already there in spades. It doesn’t detract from it either, of course, and goes without saying that this is all IMO.
As someone who ‘ships Max/Furiosa but is fine with the relationship as platonic, I would only add this: When I want to see Max/Furiosa shown as romantic, I don’t want to change *anything* about the way they interact. What I want is for THIS to be the way romance is portrayed – as an act of profound intimacy and trust between two equal partners with their own individual motivations. I would be hungrier for more platonic male/female friendships of such depth were I not even more hungry for romantic relationships (of any stripe) shown with the complexity TV and films usually reserve for male friendship.
An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures
The show is called ‘All or Nothing’
Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.
All sorts of tools have been found in pre-Christian women’s graves. The only major craft which seems to have been restricted to men only was Blacksmithing. […]
Here are a few examples of jobs done by women in the medieval period: brewer, laundress, barrel and crate maker, soap boiler, candle maker, book binder, doll painter, butcher, keeper of town keys, tax collector, shepherd, musician, rope maker, banker, money lender, inn keeper, spice seller, pie seller, woad trader, wine merchant, steel merchant, copper importer, currency exchanger, pawn shop owner, lake and river fisherwoman, baker, oil presser, builder, mason, plasterer, cartwright, wood turner, clay and lime worker, glazier, ore miner, silver miner, book illuminator, scribe, teacher, office manager, clerk, court assessor, customs officer, porter, tower guard, prison caretaker, surgeon and midwife. […]
There are records of women traders in 1205 in Genoa, Italy. In fact, 21% of people involved in trade contracts there in the 13th Century were women. Women also provided 14% of capital in seafaring ventures at the time. Even earlier, in the 12th Century, there are records of women traders in Georgia, Eastern Europe. Paris tax registers for 1292, 1300, 1313 list lots of craftswomen, many of whom were in different trades to their husbands. […]
Girls might be educated at home, with private tutor, or at a Convent. There were also schools within towns. In some cases girls were excluded from these, or only allowed to enter elementary schools. In other cases they were allowed to enter secondary schools and obtain a much broader education, including Latin and other languages. Some schools were mixed, others were single sex. Town Councils and the Church had some control over schools and over the appointment of teachers. In 1388, a Jewish woman, Sarah of Gorlitz, donated a property to be used as a school for Jewish children.
Outside of the Guilds, women might be employed as unskilled labourers in vineyards, on building sites and so on. Many more women than men were employed because they could be paid less for doing the same work. In Wurzburg, 1428-1449, for example, there are records of 323 female building site workers, paid 7.7 pfennings a day, and 13 male building site workers, paid 11.6 pfennings a day. In general, it seems that a wide range of professions were open to medieval women, although they were also subject to a variety of restrictions.
i fucking hate dating nerds one single time i wore a star wars shirt to see a dude and he was like, “wow are u wearing that to impress me” and i said, “star wars episode 4 was seen by approximately 110 million people during its initial theatrical run in 1977”
Congratulations. You’re dating people who for the longest time have been putting up with bullying, mocking, and scorn for most of their lives. That kind of shit stays with people. So imagine their surprise when they see a member of the opposite sex, who I’m assuming is really attractive in comparison to most people, wear attire that reps nerd culture. Which even though is accepted by the masses (if you’re reasonably attractive) is still rare. Now I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to be scornful I’m just saying expect it and don’t be surprised when you hear it. Ok? OK.
why i dont date fucking nerds: exhibit B
Bolded emphasis mine. Gross.
Stands on nearest chair: ATTENTION MALE NERDS. YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM A SHORTAGE OF FEMALE NERDS. THERE ARE VAST NUMBERS OF US, AND WE RARELY HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING EACH OTHER. YOU ARE WITHOUT FEMALE COMPANY BECAUSE YOU ARE WHINEY ASSBABIES WHO THINK YOU OWN THINGS BECAUSE YOU LIKE THEM, AND BECAUSE YOU SOMEHOW THINK YOU SUFFER BULLYING WHEREAS GIRL NERDS SOMEHOW NEVER DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU GET TO BE ASSHOLES BECAUSE YOU HAVE A “TRAGIC PAST” OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE. IF YOU THINK GIRL NERDS DON’T GET BULLIED IT’S LIKELY BECAUSE THOSE GIRLS DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BECAUSE OF THIS SORT OF ATTITUDE.
also: fucking no one mocks nerds anymore. Game of thrones is the most watched show on tv, everyone and their mom is playing video games, dungeons and dragons is more popular than it’s ever been.
“you go to an all girls school? So you’re a lesbian right?”
Yes. Of course. School life obviously cannot thrive without relationships, thus we’re all lesbians. All of us. If you’re not a lesbian they don’t let you in. In the entrance exam they ask you questions only a lesbian would know. They only classes we do are learning how to be lesbians. Because we’re all lesbians. Every single one of us. Obviously.
1 year after making this post and i’m dating a girl oops
“Must have reliable transportation” = “this is how we legally discriminate against poor people who take the bus”
As someone who has held several management positions with hiring responsibility, this is true. The boss at my last job informed me before I conducted my very first I interview,
“You can’t outright ask someone if they have a car or have kids. That’s technically illegal. But you need to know because sometimes they can be deal breakers. You can just say ‘Do you have reliable transportation?’ and ‘Do you have any current circumstances that could impede you from being successful at work?’
To which the last one most people fumble and would say, “Well I have kids, so sometimes they could get sick. But that’s not often.” But then your potential employer could mark it down on your interview notes nonetheless.
I thought that maybe it was just my own employer. But now I noticed that I am asked both of these almost every time I interview for a job.
Language is very sneaky. Be careful how you answer. Corporations can be snakes.
In my businesses class my professor told us that the bus counts as reliable transportation. You do not legally have to say “I take the bus” just say “yes I do have reliable transportation” and leave it at that. Do not over share. DO NOT OVER SHARE. The second question just say no. If your kids are sick call out as if you are sick. I don’t have kids but I myself can get sick and that doesn’t hinder my ability to succeed so kids getting sick shouldn’t hinder you. When I call out I give as little info as possible. No one needs to know why you call out. They can’t ask about your “illness” because it violates HIPAA if they do. So as long as you don’t offer more info than you need to you should be okay.
I love how, because of that “Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure” Onion headline, “cinnamon roll” has become a commonly accepted phrase for “a character who is cute and kind and typically gets more pain in canon than they deserve”.
Like, we didn’t have a real phrase for that common phenomenon (wubbie maybe, but that has negative connotations ie “this character has been wubbiefied by the fandom”) and then someone used a screenshot of a headline from a satire news website to describe it, and then everyone else was like “yes good let’s use this”. You couldn’t make that shit up. I bet there are people who use that phrase now who didn’t even see that headline.
Language is evolving right before our eyes in a very weird and beautiful way and I am very very sorry for future linguist who have to puzzle this shit out.
Reblogging this because I didn’t know where “cinnamon roll” came from and I’ve been trying to figure it out for weeks.
The only kind of man who says, “Not all men are assholes,” is an asshole. If you really were a “nice guy,” you’d be saying, “Wow, lots of men are fucking assholes to women. Let’s do something to change that.”
i was 14 and i was walking through a mall by myself at 12am after my shift at coldstone creamery lol and a bunch of men started whistling and meowing and getting really close to me and they kept asking me questions and i kept not answering until i didn’t know what else to do so i said “i’m only 14” and almost in unison they said “we don’t care” i was so fucking scared i didn’t know what to do and they kept talking about how i looked and how my body looked and what they would do i was on the verge of tears i was all alone in a huge mall i knew i couldn’t outrun them all i felt totally hopeless until a maintenance worker came up to all of us with a huge industrial broom in her hand, i thought she was going to yell at all of us for being in the mall after hours bc she probably thought we were all friends but instead she cursed all of them out in spanish, threatened to press a panic button on her belt and then proceeded to walk me to the basement garage and waited with me until my mom got there to pick me up she had a death grip on her cart the whole time and a face of steel she looked so strong and i just kept saying thank you and she kept saying not to thank her because she had to stop them.
that was the moment i realized women were the most important beings on this planet and we have to protect each other bc nobody else is going to, she didn’t even know me, we couldn’t even communicate that well because of the language barrier, she could have lost her job for waiting with me in the parking lot but she looked out for me when she didn’t have to, she had nothing to gain from it, i’m 21 now and i tell everyone this story even though it happened 7 years ago, what she did that night helped me form and shape lot of my beliefs early on.
i was at a grocery store really late one night and some old guy kind of eyed me as i walked out of the store next to this other lady. She and I made eye contact and i knew she was scared too. we loaded up our groceries into our cars as fast as possible and I had way more bags than her so she got done faster than me. I panicked because i was sure she was going to leave so i just hurried faster, shaking a little, and then i noticed she sat in her car, watching me and making sure nobody came near. She waited not until all my groceries were loaded, or until my cart was put away, or until I got into my car. No, she didn’t drive away until I drove away.
And that was the moment that I realized how much women need other women. That we can’t win this war without each other and we have to be looking out for each other, every second.
my last year in new york city, i got off the subway around 9 or 10p.m. i only lived about 5 blocks from the f train, but i hadn’t gotten more than two before a woman’s hand suddenly touched my arm.
“that guy behind us is following you,” she said. “he was watching you leave the train car and followed you up.”
i hadn’t noticed him, or at least not noticed him following me. when we stopped outside a grocery store, he stopped half a block back and loitered. the woman linked her arm with mine and walked me several blocks out of her way to my front door and made sure i got inside safely.
another time, nocigar and i were walking home and at a stoplight a stranger grabbed my arm when i wouldn’t respond to him and tried to physically drag me over to him. she—who is, by the way, not a very physically imposing girl—ripped his hand off my arm and snarled, “don’t fucking touch her.”
protect your friends. protect strangers. there are good men in the world, but don’t wait for them to do something if you can do it yourself.
I was at a club once and my friend left with her boyfriend so I finished my drink and was heading out to the parking lot when three girls came up to me and basically surrounded me.
“Those guys behind us were talking about following you. We can walk with you.”
I have MMA training but have never in my life had been offered the protection and sanction of my own gender. This is so important.
GIRL CODE. FUCKIN’ GIRL CODE. LEAVE NO GIRL BEHIND. EVER.
