Chirrut and Baze are great because it’s the first warrior/monk pairing I’ve seen where the monk is the one saying “hold my beer” and doing reckless shit and the warrior is the one shaking their head and doing damage control
I think my favorite discrepancy between the Rogue One promo material and the actual film is that the promos make it look like this was a very carefully put together team and in reality it’s a bunch of people that Cassian Andor more or less kidnapped.
character concept: two people who have been reincarnated for thousands of years and have always found eachother but instead of being in love they just fucking hate eachother
Honestly I think one of my favorite parts of the Ahsoka novel is when Ahsoka is thinking about her options and when she realizes that she could just go off to some random uninhabited planet to live out the rest of her days in exile, she immediately dismisses it as a terrible idea and joins up with the rebellion instead.
I just, okay, so, Bodhi is the messenger, right, that’s his WHOLE JOB. And he spends the entire movie trying to get a message to the Rebellion and be believed. And at first he’s grabbed by Saw’s people, and they don’t really believe him and they’re not really the Rebellion. And then he’s jailbroken and kidnapped by Cassian (Rogue One is basically just a bunch of people Cassian Andor kidnapped), and he gets to the Rebellion but they don’t believe him–or at least not enough of them.
And then, God, and then he’s down on Scarif and he finally gets through. It costs so many lives, so many ships, but he gets his message to the Rebellion and they hear him and believe him. There’s someone up there. There’s someone listening. Bodhi the messenger has finally delivered his message.
While I was making cherry almond clusters, I was thinking about that post about Leia being Bail and Mothma’s big plan to deal with the Death Star, and now I’m sad that we never got to see Obi-Wan deal with Leia.
Can you imagine? He sees the message from Artoo and he’s like, “wow, she looks like Padme, wow, Bail and Breha did a great job, but she’s in trouble so let’s go.” And then he’s stuck on the Falcon with Han and Luke and he’s like, it will be so nice to talk to a calm, reasonable person again, because Han is amusing but annoying and Luke is–Luke is too many memories of his father and a sweetness that Obi-Wan doesn’t want to see stripped from him, and it’s not the boy’s fault Obi-Wan has all this baggage, but Leia will be refreshingly baggage-free.
And then he meets her.
omg poor obi wan
it’s not like he ever forgot about anakin’s temper and passion but I guess he never thought what that would be like to deal with after being raised by two consummate politicians and rebel leaders
And her impatience and willingness to shoot first and maybe ask questions later.
Obi-Wan would suddenly feel even more ancient and yet also twenty years younger all at once. And she would just be like, “Well, do you have an idea, General? I’d hoped you were smarter than these two moon jockeys you brought with you–my father speaks very highly of you. But if you need me to take charge, get out of the way.”
‘I just thought you’d be more like Padme’
*Leia huffs in annoyance, pulls a blaster out of nowhere and wades in to sort shit out*
‘Okay, I may have conveniently forgotten that about Padme’
Ha yes! And meanwhile, Han’s like, “whew, she’s finally yelling at someone else, you handle her, old man.”
And Leia is like, “I do not need to be handled!” each word punctuated by another blaster shot. “Do you moof milkers have a plan for getting out of here, or do I have to do that myself, too?”
Luke is following along like it’s the latest holodrama Uncle Owen never let him watch, half in awe and half jealous, though he’s not sure if it’s Obi-Wan’s or the princess’s attention he really wants.
High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.
The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.
Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
You can’t hold in a period like pee.
Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.
Feel free to add your own.
- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.
- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.
- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.
- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.
-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.
- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different.
- Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble
- Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn
- Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink”
- EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
We have never, ever looked in a mirror and silently described our nude bodies to ourselves, especially the size/shape/weight/resemblance to fruit/etc. of our breasts.
when lying down, turning around or moving about in any way, boobs (especially large ones) change their shape. They just don’t stand there like they’re waiting for the fricken bus or some shit. they move, they flatten, sometimes they *gasp* sag. neither is a sign of ugliness or age.
If boobs spill out over the top of the bra cup, that bra doesn’t fit
Not every nude moment is sexual
Cat calls can be terrifying & are never pleasant.
Being checked out by strange men is usually uncomfortable.
Princess Leia, who moments ago dropped out of hyperspace after fleeing the first major battle of the Galactic Civil War: Lord Vader, I should have known. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit for this, when they hear you’ve attacked a diplomatic…
Darth Vader,
who literally just saw this happen an hour ago at most and watched her ship take off: Don’t play games with me, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy
mission this time. You passed directly through a restricted system. Several transmissions were beamed to this
ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent
you.
Princess Leia, who received the data from the hands of a man who witnessed Vader kill a dozen people on his way there: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to
Alderaan.
Darth Vader, who has been following her the entire time and can read minds:
in the horrible wake of carrie fisher’s death i’ve still smiled every time i see “drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra” quoted anywhere and i can’t believe carrie fisher was so sharp and so funny that she preemptively came up with a line to comfort us about her own death
Although re the grammar post I have seen "wonton", the dumpling, spelled both "wanton" as well as "wantan", and I personally am more inclined to pronounce it "wantan".
I had no idea that was a thing! I now know ‘wantan’ is an approved alternate spelling of the pinyin (did some research because I love Google), but it looks like ‘wanton’ is just the sex thing. And I think the issue comes in more when people talk about ‘moaning wontonly,’ which just.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I dunno, that always brings me up short and makes me ask Questions.
IT WAS SCREAMING SEEKING SCREAMING AND I THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME, SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN A NICE THING. also MAN chirrut and baze and the different things they judge people on, the different influences that shape who they can consider 'good', BAZE TAKING DARKNESS INTO HIMSELF TO SPARE CHIRRUT, JUST FUCK ME UP I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THAT BEFORE AND NOW I CAN'T STOP
I’M GLAD MY DUDE BECAUSE IT’S ALL I’VE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT FOR LIKE THE BEST PART OF THREE HOURS NOW.
INDEED I HAVE MY BUDDY MY PAL. I’m not fully caught up through the end of the first season, but I feel so #blessed to have this sort of gay shit in my life, like, my god.
First off, I love how obscure this is. Like, is this a prompt? Is this a request for meta? Is this just screaming? Who knows!
But I’m just gonna assume it’s screaming, seeking screaming, mostly because I have to get a couple things off my chest.
*deep breath*
OKAY SO, Chirrut’s comment about the Force moving darkly around someone who’s about to kill, HERE IS MY QUESTION. Chirrut whackin’ people with his stick looks pretty nonlethal–painful, certainly, but mostly not going to kill you. (The bowcaster thing will kill you, and Chirrut will kill you, but the stick won’t kill you.) On the other hand, you have Murder Master Baze, basically holding his own version of the Space OK Corral wherever he decides to open fire.
So does the Force move darkly around Baze? Do long strips of thick, sticky darkness cling to him, where he used to glow bright with faith? Does he do the bulk of the killing to protect Chirrut’s soul from them?
AND ALSO. Cassian, God, Cassian Andor lives so much in the desperate need to know that his terrible deeds, all the things he wishes he could forget, are what the cause needs. He has to know that his Rebellion needs him and needs his ruthlessness in order to absolve himself.
How much would it have meant to him, to have someone tell him outright that he doesn’t have the face of a killer? How much would it have meant to him to know that even to these monks, he has the face of a friend?
IF IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG DAY, YOU ARE ‘WEARY’. IF SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, YOU ARE ‘WARY’.
ALL IN ‘DUE’ TIME, NOT ‘DO’ TIME
‘PER SE’ NOT ‘PER SAY’
THANK YOU
BREATHE - THE VERB FORM IN PRESENT TENSE
BREATH - THE NOUN FORM
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE
WANDER - TO WALK ABOUT AIMLESSLY
WONDER - TO THINK OF IN A DREAMLIKE AND/OR WISTFUL MANNER
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE (but one’s mind can wander)
DEFIANT - RESISTANT DEFINITE - CERTAIN
WANTON - DELIBERATE AND UNPROVOKED ACTION (ALSO AN ARCHAIC TERM FOR A PROMISCUOUS WOMAN)
WONTON - IT’S A DUMPLING THAT’S ALL IT IS IT’S A FUCKING DUMPLING
BAWL- TO SOB/CRY
BALL- A FUCKING BALL
YOU CANNOT “BALL” YOUR EYES OUT
AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, IT’S NOT “SIKE”; IT’S “PSYCH”. AS IN “I PSYCHED YOU OUT”; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASN’T TRUE.
THANK YOU.
*slams reblog*
IT’S ‘MIGHT AS WELL’. ‘MIND AS WELL’ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.
I’m fucking dying; we’ve got this three year old over, and he finds our Green Lantern mask, so he comes up to me wearing it and asks what Green Lantern’s powers are. So I tell him Green Lantern has a ring that can ‘make anything he imagines’ (I mean he’s three, I’m not going to Get Into It) and he runs off.
And like 40 seconds later, we hear, “Ring, make me into the Flash!”
When Harry gets his first place after Hogwarts that actually has more than one floor, he comes home after getting a load of boxes to find Hermione using a sledgehammer on the drywall beneath the stairs. And Ron’s like, “Look, mate, I borrowed this stuff from my dad, I’ve got a DRILL and a - what’s it called again, Hermione?” “A stud finder.” “Right, one of those, and we’re going to fix your stairs.” Harry’s like, “But there’s nothing wrong with them.” “Yes, Harry, there is.” Harry’s just sort of standing there in total bewilderment while Hermione totally demolishes the wall. “We couldn’t have done that with magic?” “No, Harry, this is personal. You two take this mess out to the skip.” And then Harry stands around a while longer and Hermione puts in support beams in the appropriate places so the stairs don’t fall in, and Ron’s very excited about using the stud finder even though Hermione won’t let him use the drill. When they’re finished, Harry has this set of shelves. So he says, still completely confused, “I thought we picked this place because it had loads of storage.” And Hermione says, “Go get some of my books. I know it’s just shelves, but it’s not a bloody cupboard.”
And every time Harry moves for the rest of his life, Ron and Hermione are there on moving day and they knock out anything under the stairs, even if it’s just a wall. Hermione reads a lot of books. Ron learns to use a miter saw and a carpenter’s square and practices the nail hammering spell until he can do it perfectly on the first try. And sometimes it isn’t very practical but it looks nice…
And sometimes, when they all get older and have children, it’s cozy and has a purpose…
And eventually Hermione gets the trick of there being nothing under the stairs at all…
Which is the story of how Harry Potter never lived in a house with a cupboard under the stairs again for the entire rest of his life.
Some Nat/Steve friend fluff for @littlestartopaz, in
that soulmate AU from earlier, reading it probably isn’t necessary but I’m always in search of approbation. This is
probably just a few months after the Avengers were formed, in my bastardized
movies-comics-wishful-thinking-verse where they all live in Avengers Tower.
Steve and Natasha are sparring, because Steve gets nervous about
sparring with fragile normal humans and Natasha is willing to bully him into
it. Tony isn’t generally one to spar,
given the suit, and Clint’s still recovering from the cracked rib he sustained
on their last mission, and Thor, who could take Steve’s full strength punch
without batting an eye, is still off-planet handling his psychopath
brother. (No one asks Bruce to spar,
because they all like being un-splatted.)
So Natasha drags Steve’s protesting ass into the ring and punches him in
the face until he fights back. Unless he
manages to actually grab her, it’s a pretty fair match.
It’s a system, okay, and if Natasha thinks it’s funny that he’s afraid
he’ll hurt her, that’s between her and the inside of her own skull.
You just decimated that cat-caller, please marry me?
I’m moving and as I was carrying my table out of my old building I dropped it and a leg fell off and I cannot deal with this today but you just said ‘I got this’, busted a hammer and nails out of your purse, and started fixing my table in the middle of the sidewalk?
I saw somebody following you so I was trying to catch up and tell you but I was too late and you just stone cold judo-flipped that mugger and I was going to offer to make sure you got home safe but on second thought would you mind walking me home?
My incredibly stupid cat just jumped out of my apartment window after a bird and you caught her in your arms like a baby and looked up, stared me dead in the eye and said “I think you dropped something”
You walked into my shop, ordered three black coffees like you were on a coffee run for your friends or something, and then shotgunned them one after another right in front of me and I am concerned
Due to some kind of accidental spark all of the fireworks in the back of my car are now all exploding at the same time so I abandoned ship only to watch you bust out a fire extinguisher and rescue my poor car how can I thank you
“My daughter, she tells me when she grows up she wants to be a singer or a comic. I said ‘Well, baby, if you wanna be a comic, you gotta be a writer. But don’t worry, you’ve got tons of material: Your mother is a manic depressive, drug addict. Your father’s gay. Your grandmother tap dances and your grandfather eats hearing aids.’ And my daughter laughs and laughs and laughs and I said ‘Baby, the fact that you know that’s funny is gonna save your whole life.’”—Carrie Fisher (via mybodywakesup)
The problem with shipping a niche ship: you read all the fanfiction in one afternoon and if you want some more you have to write it yourself.
The problem with shipping a popular ship: 16,835 results on AO3. You start playing with tags and sorting through it, full of determination, confident that with so many fanfics you’re bound to find something you’ll like. Two hours, 30 instances of awful writing, 8 squick-outs,13 wtf AUs and 157 just plain uninteresting later you have to rush back to the canon to even remember why you liked the ship in the first place.
The problem with a popular ship: there are 6,285 fics similar to yours and you can’t help but compare your writing with others
The problem with writing a niche ship: you write only for yourself + your best friend who’s either your enabler or just feels sorry for you
I know this is utterly ridiculous to think in a time like this, but I feel like my Animorphs tumblr friends would understand. Ever since last night, I’ve had a line from the Andalite death ritual in book #18 stuck in my head on a loop. “My life is not my own, when the People have need of it.” The People have never had more need. My life is not my own. It’s time to devote it to protecting freedom, in any way I might.
also about that comment on yeerks smothering each other: i’m pretty sure one of the really big social problems yeerks faced was that yeerks in their natural state cannot individually murder each other. they’re softbodied aquatic invertebrates. they have nothing to murder each other with.
killing a yeerk would be a group effort: they would either have to bury a yeerk in the silt of the bottom of the pool and guard him for days, or slowly push a rock on top of that yeerk until he’s crushed, or by group effort isolate and then shove the yeerk out of the pool on to dry land and keep him there until he dries out. these group efforts would be exhaustive and require extensive, determined coordination. basically, yeerks have only ever executed each other.
unfortunately, yeerks gain the capacity to murder people in the space of… a day. a week at the outside. monday: no yeerks had ever murdered anyone. friday: they’d shot like three andalites and were starting in on shooting each other.
yeerks are not emotionally equipped to understand murder. they understand death, and predators, and maybe even socially-mandated execution. but a species with no real form of organized warfare or interpersonal violence gets its hands on guns and spaceships and goes basically fucking nuts. think about it: humans know we can fuck each other up. all our cultures acknowledge and regulate our capacity— and our desire— to kill people we hate.
yeerks don’t have that. yeerks have never had that. they suddenly get that and they go fucking nuts. roughly fifty years later they are still fucking nuts, only even more so because they’ve locked themselves into this completely unnatural, artificial social situation— a highly regimented life of total war— and any yeerk with a host now has the capacity to kill. and they kill each other a lot. their whole ranking system boils down to ‘who is allowed to kill who’. esplin 9466 gets an andalite body but still has a yeerk’s mind, a yeerk’s total lack of… control, awareness, something, and he just fucking starts chopping heads off and never slows down.
the ultimate fridge horror of the animorphs, i think, is that the yeerks themselves are child soldiers: terribly young people in a terrible situation, born into a war they didn’t start, forced to use alien technologies that mutiliate their sense of self, their capacity for pain, their ability to relate to noncombatants, even their fellow combatants. the first victim of the yeerk empire was the yeerks themselves.
Carrie Fisher was important to so many people. she was important to me. I wanted to meet her.
I read that she would’ve liked people to report that she drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. so – that’s what happened. she drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra, bc space stuff.
theres a new product by verzion called “hum” that allows your parents to track your car and places you go, if your parents are controlling like mine please check under your steering wheel to make sure that they havent installed this
here is what it looks like installed:
you can read more about it here, and here- this excerpt sums up what information Hum will send:
“a car’s owner will be able to get notified on their phone when the vehicle leaves a pre-determined area or drives faster than a set speed… [Hum] will enable location tracking and a driving log, which measures travel times, engine idle times, and average speeds.”
People in abusive relationships, please check your cars.
I also accidentally befriended a pro Widowmaker by the name of Belpheagor. She kept landing headshots on me and after like the 6th time I wrote in the chat, “Widow plz” because I know from prior experience that it tends to work.
She wrote back, “Mercy I’m sorry, but I have to.” After that she only landed body shots on me, but she was definitely more hesitant to land any shots on me.
Later, I was going around the back of the point to try and get to someone and I ran point blank into her. She stared at me through her scope for a few seconds; I “Hello!”ed to try and pull on her heartstrings. She shot the Pharah coming up behind me, gave me a look, and then grappled away.
She wrote in the chat, “Did you see how I didn’t shoot you” and next thing I know I had a friend request from her.
2017, understand that, given the shit you have inherited from your immediate predecessors, you are considered guilty until proven innocent. You carry this burden.
