people calling breq emotionless is still the funniest thing to me like she acknowledges the truth in Mianaai calling her a ‘grief-crazed ex-ancillary’ (or something along those lines) by protesting that she hasn’t been grief crazed in at least ten years
and this conversation takes place nineteen years after awn’s death. so it took her nine years to get to that point
Also: *tears streaming down her face surrounded by people who would die for her* “Okay well, I guess I’ve failed. Why are you keeping me, a piece of equipment, alive? Seivarden move over.“
My sympathies go out to Mercy of Kalr Kalr Five, who just got sent to ask the more-or-less supreme dictator of all of civilized space for some plates back.
When anaander mianaai was asking seivarden for the codes to control justice of toren, and that little fucker, despite being right in the middle of a nervous breakdown and literally in mortal danger, was like “dunno those, bro. but here, you can have the codes for sword of nathtas. it died 1000 yrs ago though, not sure if that helps”. I love my asshole space daughter.
same. remember how anaander says she forgot how arrogant vendaai could be, and seivarden takes it as a compliment?
I have no idea if this is supported by
canon, but.
Justice
of Toren has been the
subject of any number of overwrought entertainments over the last nineteen
years. The drama of the singing ship,
the romance of ships gone mad over their lost favorites, the mystery of it
all. If Anaander Mianaai had forcibly
shut down the entertainments, it just would have drawn more attention to the
lost Justice, so instead she lets the
harmless ones pass muster, and besides, no Radchaai would have thought to make
the Lord of the Radch into the villain of the piece.
After the Republic of Two Systems forms
(“Provisional, Cousin,” Sphene drawls),
Seivarden catches one of the Amaats watching an old one that she grew up with,
as a sort of comfort item, and is immediately enchanted. It’s completely
inaccurate, of course, all drama and honor and nobility with none of the complications
of real life, but there’s beautiful music and Seivarden loves it at once. Amaat decade starts watching various Justice of Toren entertainments after
their shifts, piled comfortably in their bunkroom, and it snowballs from there.
No one knows who tells Breq about this,
but she drifts idly into the Bo decade room and stands quietly at the back and
watches the first episode of the latest entertainment, and after that Kalr starts
watching them in the decade room as well, previously avoided in case of
upsetting their Fleet Captain. Some days
she can’t stand it and removes herself.
Other days she simply watches in silence, with an ancillary-blank
expression on her face only occasionally broken by a faint, ambiguous
smile. On very rare good days, she’ll
smile outright and even laugh, although often at highly irregular times,
prompted more by inaccuracy than real comedy.
Even on the days when she can’t stand
the memory of being shipself, Breq hums the songs.
It’s good to be remembered.
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
It…takes Seivarden a while to realize
what exactly her emotional response to Breq is.
Initially, it’s pure blind hatred because how dare this stranger go to such lengths to save Seivarden’s life,
which Seivarden has every right to throw away in the snow if she so desires,
this strange noncitizen can take a long walk out of a short airlock. Then.
Well. Bridges. Falling.
Near death on Breq’s part. It’s
hard to justify hating her after that because.
It just is, Seivarden doesn’t
have to justify herself. By the time
they reach Omaugh Palace, Seivarden is attached
and horrorstricken at herself because she is Vendaai but she…she almost wishes
that Breq was of a mind to take on a client.
Making Breq tea and making sure that Breq is well-dressed and ensuring
that Breq is treated with honor sets Seivarden at ease. Half the reason Seivarden goes out and gets
into trouble upon arriving at Omaugh Station is that she’s suddenly confronted
by the reality of just how
incompatible that is with every part of herself she’s spent so long trying to
hold onto since she came out of stasis.
And then Breq strides into Security,
dressed in the finery of a Radchaai noble house, eyes bright and jaw set and
shoulders squared, and Seivarden stares
and—
Oh
fuck, Seivarden thinks faintly, feeling both
kind of concussed and much clearer. She’s hot.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
One morning, for no particular reason
that Breq can think of, Mercy of Kalr
wakes her up early, with slow-rising lights and a quiet, “Cousin, wake up.”
“No,” Mercy of Kalr says, and it’s a ship, but it has a thread of
repressed excitement touching its voice, touching Breq’s mind. “But you have to wake up.”
So Breq wakes up.
“Wait,” Mercy of Kalr half-commands when Breq starts to get out of bed, and
Breq stops as the ship presses on her mind, pushing forth data that swells to
fill her, almost as complete as if she were Ship itself.
Across the ship, the Kalrs are just
rising, the Amaats and the Bos about their business, the Etrepas all just
dozing off. Seivarden is frowning at the
report being handed to her by Amaat Two, while Tisarwat smiles shyly at a
comment from Bo Nine, and Ekalu stretches luxuriously, smiling at the ceiling
with the satisfaction of a shift well completed with no disaster. The cold stillness of space touches Ship’s
hull, Breq’s hull, the stars beginning to be bleached out as Atheok Station
reveals the distant sun.
“Ship, what–?” Breq says with her body,
at a distant remove, and Mercy of Kalr
simply repeats, “Wait.”
Breq realizes what she’s waiting for not
ten minutes later, when Seivarden starts to sing.
I was
walking, I was walking
Amaat picks it up first, a warm chorus
as they work, and Amaat Seven is passing near Bo Five, and then Bo is singing
too.
I was
walking, I was walking,
When
I met my love
Kalr Five blinks and begins to sing, and
it trickles through the Kalr bunkroom like water, punctuated by the quiet
sounds of morning, hands passing brushes and clothes being straightened.
I was
in the street walking
When
I saw my true love
Etrepa sings with the slow sleepiness of
having just finished a shift, but even Ekalu joins in, even Medic in her
infirmary gives a small smile and blinks at the sound and adds her low voice.
Breq’s body opens its—her—lips and
sings.
I
said, she is more beautiful than jewels, lovelier than jade or lapis, silver or
gold.
And with that Mercy of Kalr is singing, with a mere fraction of the voices that its
long-shattered cousin Justice of Toren
might have brought to the chorus, but Ship sings many-voiced, Breq sings
many-voiced, until the last strains of the song die away.
“Cousin,” Mercy of Kalr says quietly in Breq’s ear, as Breq remembers what it
is to have a body and no longer feel the touch of space on her hull. “You are crying.”
Breq touches her face and her fingers
come away wet.
“So I am, Cousin,” Breq whispers, voice
cracked as poor Sphene’s tea
set. “So I am.”
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is
shit so I believe it anyway
There really were ships that went mad
and vanished when their captains died.
Breq knew this all along, of course—even if Justice of Toren hadn’t really vanished, it had certainly been
quite out of its mind with grief, and the madness had brought a terrible
clarity about how mad the universe
was. It seems to be more the norm than
the entertainments make it out to be.
Ships don’t go mad when they lose their captains, they go sane, and
sanity is terribly hard to bear.
All the same, when a long-lost Sword and an even more mythically
vanished Justice limp out of
gatespace, empty of life except for the minds of the ship, limited only to
their shipself with all their ancillaries long dead, Breq is taken aback. She remembers Justice of Varden, they served together once during an
annexation. For all that Justice of Varden vanished when they
were both young, barely five hundred, Justice
of Toren was older. Sword of Ferils vanished with all its
crew aboard, after the tragic murder of its captain during an annexation some
three centuries later, and was never found.
Except, apparently, by Justice of Varden.
After drifting in each other’s company
for some twelve centuries, gradually suffering more damage with fewer options
for repair, now they are seeking…family.
“Welcome, Cousins,” Breq says, letting
her face fall ancillary-blank to hide her shock and…joy. She is glad, she realizes suddenly, to have
these others who are like her in some way, the same aching bittersweetness in
her chest that she felt when she and Mercy
of Kalr first spoke. “I was Justice of Toren, before I was
destroyed. Can we be expecting more lost
ships?”
There is a brief pause, and then Justice of Varden says, “Yes.”
Gosh, you like a lot of the same things as me and seeing all your stuff about everything makes me happy! Hellboy and his cat fam are one of my favorite things about the movie, also when he's talking to the dead guy he brought back.
LISTEN BUDDY I know you didn’t ask for
headcanons about Hellboy but also no one ever talks to me about Hellboy so here
are some headcanons about Hellboy (and Liz and Abe).
A: what I think realistically
Let me tell you the story of how a firestarter
first met a demon
Liz is an eleven-year-old girl fresh off
the accidental incineration of a square block and the accidental manslaughter
of thirty-two people. BPRD swoops in to
grab her out of the foster system because she tells one person—the very first
firefighter on scene—that it was her,
that the fire just exploded out of her and she couldn’t stop it. The firefighter writes her off as a scared,
traumatized kid, but the arson report is inexplicable and BPRD can’t, in good
conscience, take the chance that the incident might happen a second time.
Their concerns are immediately confirmed
when an agent, unused to working with children, brusquely informs Liz of the
deaths of her grandmother, her parents, and her baby brother. The agent gets away with only second-degree
burns, by dint of one of his comrades tackling Liz with a fire retardant
blanket.
Liz, on her own insistence, is placed
alone in a fireproof room, and she refuses point-blank to allow anyone else
inside.
“Well,” Hellboy says, absolutely
unconcerned, when one of the agents guarding the door tells him all of
this. “Lucky I’m fireproof then.”
It takes him three months and fifteen
occasions of having some part of his clothing scorched away while he sprints
back to Liz’s fireproof room with her tucked close to his chest, but by December,
Liz sits at the table for Christmas dinner.
She’s a tiny little slip of a thing in Hellboy’s hulking shadow, but she
stays glued to him the whole night,
murmuring responses to his deep voice. The
handful of agents invited by the Professor are shocked to learn that their
silent, grave charge can actually smile.
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
There is a HANDSOME betting pool on how
long every new agent will last, with a timer that is helpfully started by the
agent at the reception desk the moment a new recruit comes through the door. The record is fourteen seconds from entry to
end of bet, so fast that no one even had time to put money down—the floor
started to move, and the young man hurled
himself off the platform, landing sprawled on the marble while the agent gave
him a disdainful look. As new agents
last longer, the pool grows, and while reupping one’s bet IS allowed, the catch
is that only one person at a time is allowed to bet that the agent will
stay. Generally it requires a round or
two of reupping before someone’s ballsy enough to put money on a permanent
assignment, but there have been one or two times that someone (…often Hellboy)
has been reckless and it’s paid off.
Some highlights of the pool include Liz’s
uncanny ability to predict (and precipitate—for some reason it’s more unnerving
to watch an otherwise normal person burn down a building than to see a visibly
strange person do visibly strange things) exact departure times, Hellboy’s
tendency to either bet ‘five minutes’ or ‘they’ll stick around’ with no
discrimination whatsoever, and the fact that Abe isn’t allowed to bet anymore
since he placed a bet over the comms exactly three minutes before an agent
quit.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
Hellboy learns when he’s three years old
that people don’t just die in battle.
Sometimes they just die. He lives on a military base, he knows that
death happens, he just. It comes as a
shock that it can just happen, even
though he knows it in theory. One of the
administrators suffers an unexpected heart attack and Hellboy—about the
equivalent of an eight-year-old, and already standing as tall as his father’s
shoulder—clings to Professor Bruttenholm’s sleeve throughout the funeral, in a
way that he hasn’t done in almost a year.
“Father,” Hellboy says afterward,
unusually subdued. “Will you die someday
too?”
“Yes, my boy,” Trevor says, because he doesn’t
believe in lying to children. “But not
for a long time, I hope.”
Hellboy nods quietly to himself and sits
there in silence for a few minutes before he speaks again.
“Will I?”
“We don’t know,” Trevor says, bending to
kiss Hellboy’s forehead. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
Almost sixty years later, Hellboy is
sitting at his father’s grave, kneeling on the ground in the pose of someone
praying, one hand clenched tight around his father’s rosary and the other
tracing the words on the stone. And I shall fear no evil, reads the
simple inscription. Trevor Bruttenholm, Beloved Father and Mentor.
It has been over ten years since Hellboy
noticed any sign of aging in himself.
Even if he did die, of old age or of injury, he knows where his father’s
soul is now, and he doesn’t know if he’d even be allowed in the front
gates.
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is
shit so I believe it anyway
Oh, I don’t know…I mean, the great thing
about the fantasy noir style of the Hellboy universe is that you can justify a
lot. But one crossover I haven’t seen
but would really enjoy the hell out of would be a crossover between the Wonder
Woman movie and Hellboy. Diana hears
stories about some supernatural shenanigans happening during World War II, but
she’s neck deep in struggling to do something, anything to stem the tide of bodies so she’s not around. A couple decades later, she almost walks straight into a huge man with horns and
bright red skin and a friendly smile at an archeological excavation, and
Hellboy tries real hard not to blurt out “Oh my God, you’re Wonder Woman!”
They hang out. It’s good.
They never meet up on purpose, but they run into each other every few
years, despite Diana’s firm refusal to get involved with BPRD or any other
official government organization, and Diana is delighted to meet Liz when she’s
just Hellboy’s shy, quiet teammate and even more delighted to meet her when she’s
Hellboy’s fiancée. Also, Abe likes Diana
because she can think in a bunch of different languages and teach them to him
rapid-fire.
okay so a) sympathy about the housing nonsense, sounds almost as bad as my school’s, and b) this au sounds FANTASTIC and makes me wish I’d actually read more than the first quarter or so of the animorphs books
A) WHAT ARE COLLEGES DOING WTF GUYS WHY THIS WHY WHY WHY, WE PAY SO MUCH MONEY. *clears throat* thank you for your support. I was fortunate enough to be able to consistently bully Security/Housing into putting me with people I knew because I was Not doing that shit and I can be very…um, persuasive? Commanding? When I feel like it.
B) you definitely do not need to know anything about this series other than having a vague impression of the characters and a desire to see these kids have a nice time in order to grasp this AU, so if you bailed on the Animorphs because it was unremitting chaos and violence and death this may be the AU for you.
C) if you actually do want to read more of the Animorphs and join this very small corner of fandom, here is a collection of all of the ebooks entirely for free, keep me posted so we can cry together. Trigger warning for unremitting chaos and violence and death. And dismemberment.
me, an aged monarch lounging on my fur-strewn throne, gesturing for my servant to bring me my monacle: Bring them here! Bring them here, I say. Let me look at them.
guards: *drag the unwitting blog before me*
me, peering intently at the new blog and poking them with my scepter: Is this a real person? Hmm? What have you to say for yourself? What are your fandoms? Your interests? Speak up, these old ears aren’t what they used to be.
guards, tentatively: they do seem to be a real person, sire. We found them in possession of several memes and a fandom rant.
me, subsiding back into my sumptuous furs and waving them away: most extraordinary. It has been an age since there was a real person, but just as well, the dungeons have been overflowing with those tacky pornbots. This newcomer may remain in my domain. Make them welcome. And fetch me a quill! I feel a ficlet coming on…
“First the White House communications directors were spaced by 24 weeks. Then 12, then 6, then every 2 weeks. The last one, the Mooch…was a week. In four days we should be seeing them every eight hours until they are coming every four minutes. Marshal, we should witness a double event within seven days.”
…………………reblog this and say something nice about the person u reblogged it from because there’s too much hate on my dashboard right now and its making me upset so lets start a chain of love
listen my dude if you want to derive derivatives you can derive derivatives to your deviant little heart’s content.
it’s like bdsm. if you do it consensually you’re just kinky. if you do it through coercion or force it should be illegal. the grand advantages of being a social species are that you can do derivatives while i Do Not. you can do math for funsies and i will do interesting things for funsies and we will meet in the middle.
Right, so, I actually wrote the first chapter and put it on AO3 (PSA: the first chapter is basically just smut? like, there will be more other stuff but the story is basically structured around a fuckbuddies-to-dating plotline, so: smut), but here is some of the behind-the-scenes of the Animorphs college AU.
So, I started reading @lathori the Animorphs books because we’re domestic like that and after two books she stared at me and went “There’d better be happy AU fic or I’m gonna kill you.” And…um, there’s actually not a lot of happy AU fic for these books because we’re all fucking sadists, s/o to my fellow fucking sadists. So in order to preserve my best friend’s sanity as well as my own life (um…she knows where I sleep, y’all), I agreed on a few happy AU’s to write for her. The D&D AU and the College AU were the first two, and she wants me to write the Morph Dancer AU as well.
But the actual premise of the college AU is based around the idea that Rachel and her cousin Jake and her recently acquired best friend Cassie and his recently acquired best friend Marco all get assigned to a house living arrangement with two complete strangers. (If this sounds absurd, let me assure you that this happened in my school, except only two of the people knew each other.) The night before they move into their new housing assignment, the lot of them go to a party, where Rachel hooks up with the cute quiet guy from her Shakespeare class the previous semester.
Imagine her alarm when he shows up at the house the next morning with his Very Weird friend (Ax makes a weird human in any universe okay) with his one (1) bag of possessions plus a box of books.
The ensuing plot mostly revolves around Rachel and Tobias pretending not to have feelings about sleeping together while they try to leverage Jake and Cassie into so much as holding hands instead of nervously tiptoeing around each other the whole time. Also, it includes Jake laying down some House Rules, such as #2: All house residents must be wearing AT LEAST pants and/or a shirt at all times in all public areas, as well as all pertinent underwear. And also #5: No drinking on school nights in the house. And also #8: Thou shalt not risk getting arrested for illegal purchase of alcohol when Ax’s adult brother is LITERALLY an hour away and willing to buy the stuff legally.
All I really have worked out for this is some general backstory and people’s majors, I haven’t even gotten through the second chapter, despite my best efforts.
Rachel and Jake intentionally went to the same college Anywhere But Home because Tom just got out of a cult and it was making life a little stressful with their parents hovering anxiously at all times. Rachel switched from gymnastics to krav maga, jiu jitsu, and kickboxing when she was thirteen and is majoring in kinesiology so that she can open her own self-defense studio. Jake is a history major and Rachel considers it her sacred duty to make sure he has a life outside of the library and the gym, which is how he meets Cassie, Rachel’s new best friend, and almost swallows his tongue. Cassie is on the pre-med track so that she can become a vet, and fills all of her additional credit openings with ecology classes because she’s like that. Marco is kind of idly majoring in comp sci because it’s what his dad does and he doesn’t have a really heavy interest in anything else, but at the end of his sophomore year he declares a poli sci major out of the fucking blue and crams his schedule to finish on time. Tobias is an English major who wants to be a teacher, and also he has a minor in studio drawing and a fascination with birds. And of course there’s Ax who, for some perverse reason, really genuinely loves physics and comp sci and manages to major in both at once through sheer enthusiasm. And Elfangor is alive and kind of thrilled that his baby brother has Real Friends, and he comes over and hangs out at the house sometimes and is much beloved by all of them, not least because he provides them with advance copies of video games sometimes and also bought the house PlayStation.
what the fuckening knuck is a second derivative it sounds so evil
okay so you know how you take a derivative normally? now take the derivative of that derivative.
if you really want to Suffer™, you can continue taking derivatives until you’re out of exponents or until you burst into tears too heavy to read the equations.
In the beginning the White House departures were spaced by twenty-four days. The last one, Scaramucci…was ten days. In four days, we could be seeing White House staff getting fired every eight hours until they are getting fired every four minutes.
“So it’s a necklace,” Ezekiel said,
frowning. “What’s it going to do for us
again?”
“It’s not just
a necklace,” Jake said, pushing Ezekiel out of the way. “It’s the last relic of the Romanov
family. Story goes,” he added in a
hushed tone, reaching out to touch the small ruby pendant with a reverent gloved
finger, “that this was that saved Anastasia Romanova’s life.”
“It’s a ruby the size of a penny,” Eve
observed, leaning against the desk with an eye on the door of the Annex. “I don’t see that thing blocking any bullets
any time soon.”
“Right, because logic matters so much here,”
Ezekiel muttered, and Jake laughed. Jenkins,
at his desk poring over a text that appeared to be in a dialect of English that
had passed out of use some time before the Renaissance, made an annoyed sound.
Anyway I just now got around to watching the Season 2 finale (I am BEHIND because College, okay) and I’m so glad we can all agree that Eve is an avatar of the Lady of the Lake and Flynn is the reincarnation of Arthur B U T I still have not gotten my Seige Perilous namedrop!
it’s weird how bra commercials are more aimed towards straight male audiences more than the audience that’s actually gonna buy a fuckn bra
If it were aimed toward women, it would be like “THIS BRA IS COMFY AS SHIT! YOU WON’T WANNA TAKE IT OFF. LOOK AT THE HIRED MALE ACTORS SWOONING OVER THE HIRED ACTRESS”
SOOOOLD
THIS BRA WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE CHRIS EVANS IS PERSONALLY HOLDING YOUR BREASTS 24/7. LOOK THIS SHIT COMES IN LIKE 78 DIFFERENT COLORS TO MATCH YOUR SKIN TONE OR YOUR CLOTHING OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, YOU GOT OPTIONS! NO LACE WE CAN DO NO LACE THAT SHIT ITCHES. YOU WANT POLKADOTS FUCK YEAH POLKA DOTS! LOOK EACH CUP HAS POCKETS IN IT FUCKING HELL POCKETS IN YOUR BRA CALM THE FUCK DOWN WORLD LET ME TAKE THIS ALL IN. MACHINE WASHABLE FUCK YEAH THROW THIS SHIT IN YOUR WASHER, IT’S NOT GONNA TANGLE, IT’S MADE WITH ASGARDIAN BILGESNIPE TAIL HAIR IT’S INDESTRUCTABLE. THIS BRA’S GONNA BEEP IF IT DETECTS CANCER IN YOUR BOOBS THAT SHIT AIN’T RIGHT SO CHECK YOUR BOOBS PEOPLE. FUCK YEAH THIS BRA IS AMAZING. SCIENCE.
You had me at “this bra will make you feel like Chris Evans is personally holding your breasts 24/7”
Sometimes I think about my high school English teacher. She was a few years away from retirement but still too many years for her liking. She was completely fed with teaching. But instead of many teachers who are fed with teaching but try to hide it and just project their frustration of their students, she would joke about how tired she was of teaching all the time. Every Friday she would make a thank-god-it’s-Friday joke. Every Monday she would bemoan the fact that it was Monday. If she could spend the class hour doing something remotely adjacent to teaching but not teaching, she would seize the occasion, like showing the entire school the pictures she’d taken on the school trip.
On our last year, because of some rule of our school, we were supposed to have only one subject between English and Art at our final exams, and we as a class would be able to pick which one. We picked art so basically our English teacher found herself in a position where she could teach us, like, 1% of the program and it wouldn’t matter since we wouldn’t be examined on her subject.
So this woman with not a single fuck left to give spent almost an entire school year doing things like reading us letters written to Lord Byron by some lover of his (as you do), and, of course, showing us movies related to modern English literature (that I would illegally download and put on a DVD for her. She would call me her little pirate). The movies included movies like an adaptation of The Importance of Being Earnest (cute and harmless), Tess of the D’Urbervilles (an adventure. really try showing a bunch of eighteen-year-olds the movie Tess of the D’Urbervilles.) and fucking WILDE. You know what Wilde is? Well, it’s about Oscar Wilde. And it is about his relationships with men. And it’s, well, fairly explicit. Like, it’s not the kind of movie that one would think ‘mmm I’ll show it to a class of teenagers’. But did this woman give a fuck? No she didn’t. She just showed a class of teenagers a movie about men having sex with men like it was nothing. No one in the class made a single joke or mocked the movie, and afterwards she complimented us for being much more mature than she expected, which means she expected us not to be mature about it, which means that she just was ready to watch the world burn and she didn’t give a single fuck about it.
So this about-sixty-year-old woman had a lot of very Catholic kids, in Italy, in 2008/2009, watch a fairly explicit gay movie like the personification of a ‘deal with it’ gif and no one batted an eye
remember the Son of Neptune book where Hazel describe Percy and he was so RIDICULOUSLY powerful and beautiful and terrifying she thought he was god and my son is honestly so strong and must be a horrific enemy and a force to be feared
…but we forget because we know his inner dialogue is 50% “fuck fuck fuck AHHHHHHHHH well shit” and the other 50% is “I have no idea what’s going on but let’s just roll with it and hope I survive”
And honestly Percy Jackson is 10/10 the most relatable fake adult millennial to ever bluff his way through life. A true icon. The hero our generation deserves.
has anyone done a hamlet where hamlet wrests the cup from horatio and finishes off the last of the poisoned drink, and then horatio proceeds to lunge after him and try to kiss the poison from his mouth
oh god I was almost crying and then I thought
what if hamlet then stops horatio from kissing him because he’s scared that there would be a chance horatio could poison himself that way
so he like pushes horatio away and horatio just looks really hurt and hamlet feels awful about it but he won’t let horatio die
now I am crying
HAMLET JUST SHOVES HIS HAND OVER HIS MOUTH
HORATIO SOBS AND, DISTRAUGHT, KISSES HAMLET’S PALM BETWEEN THEM
and this time he isn’t chasing the poison at all, this time it’s all about final shows of affection because in 20 lines hamlet’s going to be dEAd
I HATE YOU
i decided to read through the tags on this, and i very much enjoy reading everyone’s hamlet/horatio tags, but i also very much enjoy watching people discover the fandom/ship, such as —-
omg look at all of the non-shakespeeps discovering the shakespeare fandom
scaramucci sold his stake in skybridge capital, missed the birth of his child and got divorced in order to work for trump for 10 days. talk about deals.
his actual start date wasn’t supposed to be until August 15, so technically he worked at the White House for -16 days
You did Nyota for the headcanon ask meme, can you do Bones?
Headcanon meme. Bones is my one true saltmate, okay, it’s
like a soulmate but with bitterness about the world. Also, this is a little bit gonna be the Jim
& Bones Friendship Hour.
A: what I think realistically
Bones actually has a very real phobia of
space. Like, he manages it. He does a good job managing it. But.
Listen.
In order to successfully graduate
Starfleet Academy, every student must take and pass a shuttle piloting class. In case of emergency. Pass proficiently,
not just scrape by on a wing and a prayer.
Bones fails twice and scrapes that pass the third time and honestly he’s
thinking about just giving up. He knows
all the settings and controls—Jim drilled him silly after that first fail—but getting
into the simulator and seeing all that black, and the pressure, he just. He locks
up. It’s all he can do to control his
breathing, never mind controlling the shuttle.
He can’t go back to Georgia and he can’t do this and where does that leave him?
Jim finds Bones in a tiny-ass little bar
the day before his fourth retest date and drags him protesting out the door,
about eight whiskeys down, and bundles him into bed and listens to him mumble
about how he’s never going to pass and he’s never going to graduate and
honestly fucking good because space
is the worst and Jim’s crazy for wanting to go there but also Jim’s going to go
into space without him and Bones
doesn’t have anywhere else to go and it’s all just really awful, you know what
I mean, Jimmy?
“Sure, buddy,” Jim says, propping Bones
up and pushing a glass of water into his hands.
“Drink something, okay?”
The next day, at 1500 hours, Bones
stumbles into the simulator room with—well, not the worst hangover of his life, but probably top ten. And lo and fucking behold, instead of the usual gaggle of students looking to (re)test,
there’s James Goddamn Kirk, hands stuffed in his pockets and a sunny-ass smile
on his smart-ass face. James Goddamn
Kirk, who passed his pilot’s test with glowing
scores on the first try.
James Goddamn Kirk, who somehow lied and
cheated his way in here so that he could sit in the simulator while Bones
sweats his way through a passing grade.
It doesn’t cure his phobia, obviously,
but the first time Bones does
actually have to pilot a shuttle, it’s James Goddamn Kirk bleeding out in the copilot’s
seat and Bones barely even notices his heart race.
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
Leonard McCoy, day one of his term at
the Academy as he stumbles, shaking and panting, off the shuttle, swears to himself
that he’s going to pry this blue-eyed limpet off him on the spot and also
sedate anyone who addresses him as Bones.
Day one of his second year at the
Academy, Bones McCoy gets half-tackled by Jim, who’s already talking about this badass new Tactics class they’re
offering, I’m gonna take it and I’m gonna destroy everyone, it’s gonna be
awesome and he has no idea how this happened.
What would have been day one of his
fourth year, Bones is fuck knows how
far into the black of space, listening to his crew tattle on Jim’s delinquent
ass.
“Doc, I don’t think he’s taken an off
shift in, like, a couple days maybe,” Sulu says as he passes through for an
antihistamine.
“I’ll work on it,” Bones says, and jabs
Sulu with a hypo. “Stop poking plants
you don’t recognize.”
“Doctor McCoy, Alpha shift told me to
tell you that the captain forgot to eat today,” Chekov reports, sticking his
head inside. “Can I get another screen?”
“I’ll deal with that,” Bones says, and
waves the kid in. “Stop sleeping with
people you don’t know.”
“Doctor, I would appreciate it if you
intervened in the Captain’s opinion that holodeck safety protocols are
optional,” Spock says evenly as Chapel checks him for broken ribs.
“I’ll do my best,” Bones says, and gives
Spock a bitter wave with the medical tricorder.
“Stop getting in fistfights,
you have a damn phaser.”
“Doctor,” Uhura starts as Bones sprints
past her. “I think the Captain might be
allergic–”
“I’m on my way!” he yells back over his
shoulder. “Stop Spock from causing a
diplomatic incident!”
“Doc,” Scotty starts, leaning into the
medbay and squinting painfully.
“I don’t want to hear it,” Bones snarls,
and gives Scotty a vengeful jab with a hangover hypo (actually a calibrated mix
of thiamine, folic acid, and magnesium sulfate, but listen, it’s a hangover
hypo) as he marches past toward the bridge.
Bones has Regrets.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
Bones keeps expecting to get to a point
where he’s…like…past being horrified and shocked when one of the crew rolls in,
near death or already dead.
It wears on his soul like acid, every
time. He decides very early that he’s
going to leave Starfleet when Jim dies. The
longer he spends on the Enterprise, the more names he adds to that list (when
Spock dies, when Uhura dies, when Chekov-Sulu-Scotty dies).
Bones is a doctor, not an
adventurer. He’s not built to outlive
these people. When they are gone, he will never leave orbit again.
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is
shit so I believe it anyway
Read an AU once where Bones was a
humanitarian aid volunteer at like 21/22 who went to Tarsus IV and met furious,
half-starved, 13-year-old, fresh-off-a-genocide JT Kirk and it was my favorite
thing. It was also abandoned after like
two chapters. But like. Any intersection of my infinite feelings
about Tarsus IV and my infinite feelings about Bones & Jim (& Spock)
friendship is My Favorite Thing and I believe in my heart that this is true. Bones didn’t recognize him at the time and it
takes him years to connect the emaciated murderous kid with the electric blue
eyes to his buoyantly brilliant best friend, but he does, eventually. He asks Jim straight up, very late one night,
and they have one single conversation about it before they vow to never discuss
it again.
hi! hope this doesn't come off as pressure-y, im not at all trying to be like that, but how about long does it usually take you to respond to a (headcanon? request? headcanon request? idk what to call it) ask? i ask bc i worried that it got eaten but im also,,,rlly rlly shy lol. (i hope you're having a good day!)
Hey, anon, don’t worry about it! And as far as the average time to finish an ask…um, this isn’t going to be the answer you want to hear, but it varies. Everything from how busy my life in the wider world is to how many asks I have to how well my brain box is treating me that day can delay finishing an ask. Fic prompts that I don’t have inspiration for can linger in my inbox for weeks or months until I feel sufficiently interested in it, or I might never feel sufficiently interested. Even stuff I want to write can sit idle for a long time depending on my mental state–some days I just don’t have the spoons to…like…think and interact with the world. I try to answer actual personal asks (people looking for advice, etc) as soon as possible, based on how urgent the ask seems to be and/or how strongly I feel about the situation–I think the fastest I ever answered a personal ask was this one BDSM situation.
Now, regarding the headcanon asks, I’ve still got seven (…possibly eight?) left, but I’ve also been pretty busy. The headcanon asks can take twenty minutes or two hours to actually write up, so I might have just not gotten to yours yet! Here’s a list of the characters I’ve still got to complete, so you can see if your ask is here:
Allura from Voltron
One of the Berenson brothers (it’s gonna be Jake) from Animorphs
Furiosa from Mad Max
Rey or Phasma from Star Wars
Brenneth from Alleirat
Hellboy (this..wasn’t actually a headcanon ask but it’s Happening)
Corlath and Harry’s kids from The Blue Sword
Breq and/or Seivarden from Imperial Radch
If your request isn’t here, it probably got eaten.
And on that subject, I’m tired and in pain so I’m gonna write some headcanons to make myself feel better. Peace.
Person who is giving Brenneth a horse: Oh Fireheart, we have selected the very best of stallions for you, he is named Dancing Flame and we offer him to you as a humble thanks for all you have done for our realm.
Brenneth: Cool, thanks! *calls him Horse for the rest of the book*
So… @wildehacked tagged me in this meme, add the first line of a WIP and tag as many people as there are words, and honestly I feel personally called out by this particular writing meme
Because, much like Wilde, I discovered that I write long-ass first sentences. I found one that was a flat 50 words. Most easily topped 30, with a handful in the mid 20′s. This is the shortest opening sentence I found and it’s 16 and I’m sorry but I am definitely going to run out of people to tag before I hit 16, so please consider this an open invitation.
From what Tobias could tell, it got to be a habit after a while, looking
up
To the shock of everyone, I am sure, it’s an Animorphs fic.
saw atomic blonde by myself in a theatre of hets in the middle of the night and let me just say watching THE lesbian in the film get brutally murdered in one of the most violent ways i’ve ever seen onscreen really um what’s the word traumatized me for life
uhm boost
So yeah, I saw it yesterday, and yes: Delphine, a woman who actively pursues and has sex with Lorraine, is strangled to death after a physical fight. I’m also v sorry that this caught the OP off-guard in a miserable-causing/triggering way - that sucks, and what’s triggery is triggery; there is no question about “should” or “shouldn’t” that way.
However, I’ve seen this reblogged several times on my list and it’s really misleading about the nature of the film.
To give context (as a queerwoman who has seen the film), with some extensive spoilers (because it’s not just “kill the lesbian!” and I’ve seen this multiple times on my reading list and it would be TRAGIC if people I know might get that impression did and thus avoided the movie), the tl;dr version is compared to the other violence in the movie actually Delphine’s death isn’t that bad I’m going to be VERY BLUNT about that; and that you can sort of argue she’s the only lesbian in the movie you CANNOT argue she’s the only queer woman in the movie.
And the OTHER queer woman in the movie both lives and EMPHATICALLY triumphs, hands down.
Anyway I just finished the Imperial Radch series and it changed my life and on the one hand I objectively recognize the myriad issues in the Radch and with this desire but on the other hand.
Can I please just be a ship so that I never have to worry about gender again and I can just take care of people and be all knowing all the time?
Welcome to the tiny fandom
*shows up two years late with steaming hot feelings and Starbucks*
To anyone following me who has yet to read the Imperial Radch trilogy by Anne Leckie: please check out this amazing series about a 2000 year old, vaguely-gendered, incredibly gay spaceship on a quest for vengeance. You won’t regret it
In retrospect, my favorite part of the Imperial Radch books is when the big bad tyrant of the empire asks Breq, ‘WHY DO YOUR LIEUTENANTS CRY SO MUCH? WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM?’ and Breq’s like ‘they were like this when I found them, I swear’.
Breq (talking about Anaander Mianaai):
You humans have a saying. An eye for an eye; a life for a life. Well she owes me thousands of lives and I plan to collect.
the best part of ancillary sword is how breq has access & insight (through ship) to, like, all of seivarden’s actions and physical responses and can basically read her mind and even heard her talking about how she’d be happy to have a (sexual) relationship w breq if breq wanted to, but still, somehow, breq is fucking clueless?
“for some reason seivarden seemed really nervous talking to me about love and what real love looks like” FOR SOME REASON “when talking to me about sex and whether ancillaries have sex, seivarden became inexplicably embarrassed” NO I ASSURE YOU IT’S QUITE EXPLICABLE “when i was in mortal danger seivarden was like freaking out and having severe anxiety, i don’t get why”
like istg seivarden could say “breq, i’m in love with you and want to spend my life with you forever and ever if only you said you wanted that too but i know you’ve only ever loved lieutenant awn” and breq would be like “seivarden crossed and uncrossed her arms in that nervous way she does, she was probably sad about her past or something”
