I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference
and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”
Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
boyfriend requirements:
- is a feminist
- not a racist
- dances (not necessarily well)
- is a cutie
- is not a murderer
- likes puppies
yes cause obviously if someone is not a feminist they are obviously scum (sarcasm)
- Isn’t that guy
Man the bar could not get any lower and yet some men still can’t reach it.
The bar was an inch above the ground and the guy dug a hole to avoid it.
(via bleedingwillow96)
livebloggingmydescentintomadness:
livebloggingmydescentintomadness:
Girls, if something about a guy scares you or makes you uncomfortable, get away from him as fast as possible. Listen to your instincts. Don’t make excuses. Just run.
Because like a thousand people have felt the need to add comments like “Boys, if a girl scares you” or “People, if a person scares you” and “this goes for everyone” and “this shouldn’t be gender specified” I am going to make it very clear that this post is for girls.
THIS POST IS FOR GIRLS.
Why? Because girls are socialized to not be rude, not ‘be a bitch’, to not hurt a man’s feelings, and that they’re being silly and overreacting if something they can’t explain makes them afraid. Because girls are preyed on by men who use every one of these things to their advantage, who lure girls into their control and molest them, rape them, beat them, and kill them. Because it happens every fucking day and girls need to know that if something feels wrong, they need to get the fuck away from that man.
You don’t like that this post is gendered? I don’t like that girls are abused and date raped and murdered every fucking day and they are STILL pressured to “give him a chance” when a man makes them uncomfortable. So get off your pretentious fucking high horse and support girls instead of telling me “this goes for everyone”.
(via bleedingwillow96)
[video]
HOLY SHIT YES PLEASE
DO YOH EV EN HA VE TO ASK
WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT. JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN
Why is this even being asked? Is there an option that isn’t “DEARGODYESOMG”?
i fear time travel shenanigans, but i don’t fear them enough to overcome my deep desire to see this teamup
what if no time travel shenanigans. what if it’s little old i’m not dead yet you sanctimonious fucks peggy carter who would like to die with her boots on, and natasha is actual the only agent in the world who can actually keep up with her when she sneaks out of the hospital, steals a few wallets, digs up a few old shield weapons caches, and toodles cheerfully off to europe to go out in a blaze of nazi-hunting glory like she wanted to before her damn grandkids came over all fussy and took her guns away.
natasha romanoff has been trained as a remorseless and deadly superspy since she was a baby and she is so, so, so glad that she was never assigned to keep up with agent carter before the two hip surgeries, a knee replacement, and a case of alzheimer’s took a bit of her edge off.
natasha calls steve every night and bitches about what deranged death-defying shit the ancient hellbat has managed to live through today and steve just giggles at her over the phone.
‘put peggy on,’ he says.
‘i will not, the two of you just encourage each other.’
‘is that steve?’ peggy wants to know.
‘NO.’
‘put steve on the phone, i want to sext him.’
‘NO.”
‘natasha give peggy the phone.’
#battle granny#at one point she drags a large and terrified blonde personal trainer into a mob shoot-out#it’s not a good time for anyone#rogers you are being a shit backup today what is your problem#“MY NAME IS BRAD AND I WANT TO GO HOME
i feel vaguely guilty for how much i want this to happen
In Marvel Comics canon, Natasha Romanov is the same age as Captain Steve Rogers. I would ~love~ to see that explored in a movie with Black Widow and Agent Carter in the 40s or 50s. OR to see her play a previous incarnation of Black Widow with Agent Carter or something… her mom or grandma or a completely unrelated woman. A defector to the USA who’s got secrets to sell and debts to pay and hunters after her eager to silence her.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
I honestly love drunk girls so much, last night I was at a party and a girl started crying because she loved my hair
One time in college, I had a fight with my boyfriend and was sitting outside crying, and a drunk girl came over and gave me a leaf to make me feel better.
amazing
i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me
I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.
Amazing
Drunk boys: will gather into a huge pack and harass people passing by.
At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee
a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and whispered “count olaf”
this is a nice post
once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”
A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.
(Source: curiovsly, via bleedingwillow96)
what about like. a vampire who is just this weird immortal relative. like maybe at one point they were a parent, and were turned into a vampire, and in stead of like abandoning their family out of guilt or fear, they stuck around through generations and generations in their family and its been hundreds of years and they still stick around and have this huge extended family of people who love them, that weird distant relative who like nobody is sure how they’re related but they are
like a child in their family is born and the mom is like, this is your weird relative who is nocturnal, and the vampire gets to hold the baby and is in all the family photos and everyone is like ‘yeah this is fine, my grandpa knew them so’
This just makes me think of the sims.
but like
vampires don’t appear in photos
these people would have photographs of their child supposedly suspended in midair and just keep them around like
‘oh yeah that’s your aunt when she was little’ ‘why is she floating’ ‘oh yeah thats just steve’
Even better, according to Bram Stoker, vampires appear as skeletons in photos.
“Did you take this picture at Halloween? Is that a decoration?”
“Nah, it’s my great great great great great great great uncle.”
(Source: shacklefunk, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Batter my heart, three-person’d God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv’d, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov’d fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
(via princehal9000)
I want to know if anyone else has this problem.
* Raises hand in shame*
No shame here. It happens. I keep going.
(via bronzedragon)