if you spoil age of ultron for me or put those shitty cam quality spoilery gifs on my dash i will put a curse on your family, your future children, your children’s children, and your children’s children’s children. and your dog.
I WILL CAST DISHONOR UPON YOU, UPON YOUR FAMILY, AND UPON YOUR COW. SPOIL NOTHING.
Okay but the Hat was just like, “Sure kid whatever” when Harry requested against Slytherin. What kind of conversation was this?
NO NEVILLE I CAN’T DO THAT YOU HAVE THE HEART OF A LION
THE WIZARD OF OZ WILL GIVE YOU COURAGE NEVILLE
HAKUNA MATATA NEVILLE
DO NOT RECITE THE DEEP MAGIC TO ME NEVILLE I WAS THERE WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN
Okay, I’ve seen this post a couple of times & something just occurred to me.
Harry was pretty 50/50 Gryffindor/Slytherin from what I remember the hat saying (and according to the wiki blurb on hatstalls having a fairly equal split of traits from more than one house is the common cause of them) so when he asked not to be put into Slytherin the hat was fine with taking that preference into account and put him in Gryffindor. (Also the fact that the hat said he could be great and powerful in Slytherin and Harry’s response was pretty much no I don’t want that pretty clearly demonstrates non-Slytherin traits.)
On the other hand, the above doesn’t mention the hat being at all indecisive about where to put Neville. The hat wasn’t going “hmmm this is tough you’re pretty Gryffindor but you’re kind of Hufflepuff too”. It was probably more like “Yep! Gryffindor for sure!” Followed by Neville being all “No I’m totally a Hufflepuff!” and then proceeding to argue with the hat about it for almost 5 minutes. (Which when you think about it is a super Gryffindor thing to do.) By the end the hat was probably like oh my god kid you’re so Gryffindor you’re practically Godric’s heir shut up and get sorted there already!
“child one day you will pull Gryffindor’s sword from me and i swear that sounds weird now and is going to sound EVEN WEIRDER when you hit puberty but give it a couple more years and seriously kid IT’S GONNA BE FUCKING RAD JUST GO INTO THE DAMN HOUSE”
Also I’m trying to decide if Hermione would have had a preference for Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. I FEEL like Ravenclaw but also maybe she was such a good-two-shoes 11 year old that she refused to argue with the hat. I can’t decide!!
Hermione in the book specifically says on the Hogwarts Express that she thinks Gryffindor sounds ‘by far the best’ and that Ravenclaw ‘wouldn’t be too bad’. It’s pretty clear what her preference is.
This whole “trust Tumblr blindly” thing is eventually going to kill someone, as I became pointedly aware of on one occasion I was making fun of how poorly a particular bleach-based drain declogger was working on my sink and got a chorus of really dangerously misinformed people telling me to pour vinegar in after it because all cute little cool kid diy home care blogs they’re following talk about vinegar like it it’s the big secret the cleaning companies don’t want you to know.
And I cringed knowing that someday, some Well Actually expert who read a blog article once is going to give that advice to someone who unfortunately didn’t take high school chemistry and isn’t aware that MIXING VINEGAR AND BLEACH MAKES CHLORINE GAS.
ship’s computer crashes due to virus acquired during a porn download from a lower decks ensign
firmware update was pushed out to the fleet, has vital error in the clock program that causes every computer to repeat 2300. translators have to explain to the enemy why everyone is an hour late to peace talks.
unintelligble message is sent out into the void because someone’s pet cat walked across their keyboard. message is interpreted as a marriage proposal.
universal translators break, everyone is reduced to hand gestures
viewscreen has dead pixels in the upper left corner, drives the captain a bit bonkers
space gps tells us to take a right where we should take a left. plucky recent academy grad on the graveyard shift realizes that this would take us into the sun and makes the course correction. ship’s computer advises her for two hours to make a u-turn when it is safe to do so
shout out to those humans out there that haven’t even hit 18 yet but have been through enough hell to last four lifetimes. your age does not invalidate your pain and experience. i respect you so much.
Damage Control is a fictional construction company appearing in Marvel Comics, which specializes in repairing the property damage caused by conflicts between superheroes and supervillains.
I may be mixing up comics and cartoon canon but I’m 90% sure Damage Control was run by Nick Fury’s brother, too.
I would read the hell out of this.
Okay, Damage Control is one of my FAVORITE THINGS.
Why?
Because it involves this:
It’s an entire comic where the accounting department figures out that Doom, Super Villian, Despot, and Head of the Reed Richards Must Die club, has not actually been paying his bills.
And they send that dapper, charming individual in the suit there to COLLECT ON AN OVERDUE BILL.
There’s also a wonderful subplot about one of the account executives attempting to work through the loopholes of the Fantastic Four’s insurance documentation (the policy only covered the ORIGINAL members, not damage done by new members).
If you ever read a comic and thought “God, I feel bad for whoever has to clean that up,” you need to read Damage Control.
This sounds exactly like the kind of nuttiness I love about superheroes.
fire cannot have a shadow because it is a source of light jesus christ i hate this website
This is the same website that believed you could have unlimited chocolate if you cut it the right way.
These people are our future
Okay so I really really want to know how you trumpet fellating douchefucks managed to spring fully formed into the world, knowing every single little thing that has ever existed ever?
Because shit, that would be some groundbreaking scientific and theological wetdream.
OP is basically going “wow, this is a cool thing. Who else never really considered why this cool science thing does this cool science thing” and eventually some assholes turn up and go; ” i hate this website”, to “THESE people are our future”?
What the frickity frick you fun sucking vampiric pisslords.
Shit son, you are literally the perfect example of why kids go “science is hard and boring”. Because instead of going “Heck yeah! This weird thing happens because gases! Because flames! Because light! Because the world is weird and fun and dude if you think this thing this is cool check out this and this and this!”
Because instead of going “Yeah, not everyone knows as much as science about me. Everyone has to learn things somewhere; come on friend have I got so much to show you.”
You went; “I’m self absorbed as heckle and I think that everyone MUST know or they’re just silly ignorant peasants aha lol im smart. Screw this website and the kids on it.”
I could go on all day, but you know what friend? We all have to start somewhere, because education in a single county district can be as unequal and bollocked up as heck, let alone between countries, between ages, between classes, between days and I have so much to show you.
