It’s actually my uterus saying, “Look, you don’t want a baby this month. I certainly don’t want a damn baby this month. We’re going to make damn sure there’s no baby this month even if I have to nuke the site from orbit.”
Using Tumblr is like renting an apartment and continually asking the landlord to fix the heating, but instead the landlord repaints your living room walls every month.
And you’re like “But I liked the off-white, it went well with my furniture!” but the landlord insists that the hot pink is exactly what the place needs. And the moment you get used to the pink walls and bought things to match them, the landlord comes and paints the room forest green.
liSTEn hERE THI S HAS GON E ON FAR TOO LONG THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE KNOWN FOR I WANTED TO GO FAR IN LIFE BUT NO I’M STUCK HERE WITH OVER 29 THOUSAND PEOPLE AND NO FUCKING SNOODS THIS IS NOT THE LEGACY I SIGNED UP FOR
So my brother works at a McDonald’s that’s test running serving breakfast later into the day. They used to end at 10:30, and now it goes to eleven… apparently it’s a pretty big pain in the butt.
It used to be that when it came time for the switch from breakfast to lunch, they’d shout out “Ten thirty!” through the store so everyone knew to switch, but now that it’s “Eleven,” my bro says it’s just not as easy to shout, or to hear over machinery and such.
So he started shouting “Elevensies!”
So now it’s a thing and the McDonald’s in my hometown now serves elevensies.
OK BUT BEST PART OF THE STORY
There was a guy who didn’t get it. He’s like, “Whut? Why are you saying that? That’s not a word.”
And someone else shouts from behind the grill “You don’t know elevensies?”
And someone else shouts “Bet he doesn’t know about second breakfast either”
Do you want to know what’s a strange feeling? Having a platonic crush on someone. You go through all the same crap as with a romantic crush, trying to impress them, not wanting to seem over eager, wanting to talk to them all the time. The only difference is, instead of wanting to kiss them until they can’t breathe, you want to rent all of the movies with them and have a sleep over. It’s rather disconcerting.
Black people are literally without exaggeration being lynched and nothing is being done about it and white people genuinely think anyone should care that they’re being compared to mayonnaise *for being racist or insensitive*. these people won’t even read an article about Black people getting killed for being Black until it turns into a worldwide movement, but compile entire posts to actually whine about being criticized for being complacent in benefiting from white privilege.. And they’re dead ass serious too
to the white people have literally responded to this by fulfilling it and saying “I know black people getting killed is bad but stop saying we’re mayo or racist” like if y'all could be more disgusting and soulless I would be amazed..
Anonymous asked: Am I alone in really really wanting to know who Lily’s friends were??? Who her best friend was??? Was her only bestie really Snape?? Did she get along with her dormmates?? Was there someone who was to her what Sirius was to James?? Was there a girl in her life who was so important to her she was or could have potentially been Harry’s godmother??? I’m sorry for bugging you with this but it’s 2 AM where I live and I was unceremoniously hit by Lily Evans feels
Talk to me about Lily’s room mates, about them sitting together that first night and awkwardly introducing themselves until one of them blurts out how much they love the braid Lily is wearing and she beams and tells them about her older sister who “isn’t magical but can make the best hairstyles!” and they’re so excited they only settle down around 11z
Tell me about them messing around with make-up for the first time and getting it EVERYWHERE, Lily laughing as one of them manages to get nail polish on her nose and can’t get it off again because the other used a semi-permanent sticking charm.
Tell me about Lily crying because Petunia won’t answer her letters and the boys made fun of her when they saw she was upset and it’s the worst. Tell me about girls wrapping her up in a hug and taking her to the kitchens for hot chocolate and reassurances that it’ll be okay.
Tell me about getting their first periods and rolling around in pain and making up stories where they’re the heroine who is bleeding to death until “hey Mary do you have some more of those muggle painkillers”.
Tell me about her friends telling Lily that Snape is bad news, and she’s angry at them but at the same time grateful because she needed to hear that from someone else.
Tell me about the roommates noticing James teasing Lily all the time and rolling their eyes because, yeah, he didn’t mean it maliciously, but turning her skirt fluorescent pink was still a shitty move, and taking turns sending pinching hexes James’ way (and some Sirius’ as well because the boy did something to deserve it for sure). (Remus totally noticed but only smirks, so the girls decide they like him best, except for Mary, who thinks Peter is the cutest ever)
Tell me about girls consoling each other when family members die, when they lose friends and realize they’re not safe at all anymore, that there might come a point where they have to start distrusting each other, but today is not that day, and they need hugs.
Tell me about them being excited when James and Lily end up together, but do not hesitate to tell him that “if you hurt her I’ll kill you. We all will” - James’ eyes widen but then wraps them all in a group hug because “Lily’s mates are my mates”.
Tell me about Lily’s bridesmaids!!! Cute little matching dresses and endless hours of fitting and complaining and so much free champagne. Also cake?? “How about we just wear our school uniforms it’d be so hot” “NO, Emmi.”
Also hello, I know no one wants to hear this, but who do you think organized the funeral? Between Sirius being in Azkaban and Remus probably buried in self-hatred, it would have been organized by the Order or smth, so I bet Lily’s friends talked to McGonagall and they decided on the simple ceremony, with so many flowers, and all of them wore black robes but a lily in their hair.
tbh i’m here for my boys too, like i’m here for every boy who cried alone, wiping away tears quickly and guiltily, because crying wasn’t “manly”, i’m here for fat boys, skinny boys, boys who rejects hyper-masculinity and are shamed for it, i’m here for every boy who was laughed at in the locker rooms, every boy who loves lipstick and mascara, and every black or brown boy who is afraid to walk home at night because of violence that may come from anywhere in society but is always targeted at him, i’m here for every boy who was told he wasn’t a boy, i’m here for every conflicted boy who must choose between what he believes is right and what he was raised with, i’m here for every boy who was manipulated by this twisted patriarchy we all exist in and is trying in some way to make things right.
