Okay, but, when we send cremated remains into space do we send an explanation with them? Because I’m just picturing some aliens cracking open a satellite and being really fucking confused.
“Human guide! Our scans indicate that this probe contains a cylinder full of ash and human bone fragments. I assume this deconstruction of form is a way for your species to travel greater distances through the stars due to your limited capacity for large spaceships and distance travel. Quite similar to the Quaxilains from the Centuri district of the galaxy, though I did not know your species had reached such advancements yet. Please instruct us in how to revive your colleague so we may interrogate him as well.”
“No, dude, whoever that was is dead. Probably some astronaut or scientist who paid to have their cremated remains shot into space once they died.”
“You told us that your species buried your dead, why did you lie to us?”
“No, I said that MY family buried our relatives. Never said the whole species did it. Sometimes we burn them, then scatter their ashes in places they loved, plant them with a tree, use them to make diamonds, shoot them into space, whatever. Lotta options.”
“I had no idea your death rituals were so…extensive.”
“Just wait until I tell you about mummification.”
Okay, so this gets me thinking, what if that ends up as humanity’s hat? Like, other races have one, maybe two relatively simple ways to honor their dead in all their cultures, and then humans show up, a race that seems to brim with ways to appease and mourn the fallen. Earth-style funerals become trendy and fashionable before growing into galactic norms. Alien potentates pay big bucks for human architects to design monuments or mausoleums for them or their loved ones or historical figures. Groups of highly skilled “memorialists” spring up back on earth, master morticians trained in every kind of death rites human or alien minds have imagined and willing to work for a small fee. Humans become well-known across the universe as the Death People from the Death World.
Anonymous asked: Hi, I can't figure out how to filter relationships! I've been at this for about 20 minutes, and I give up b/c I am impatient. So can I please have the filter id for steve rogers/tony stark :3.
Happy to help! I assume you’re looking to filter out Steve/Tony. I’ll show you step-by-step, complete with copious screenshots, so we’re going behind the cut (and of course, this method can be used with any filterable tag (using a bookmarklet for Additional Tags) that you want to filter out!)…
Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens.
Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL
OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY
Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’.
aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.”
I’M DONE.
Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth
“Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…”
Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it.
OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE
I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.”
HOW R00d
I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering”
I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now
I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’
After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch
I have to try this.
Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead.
@simonalkenmayer a new toy for you. I expect an entire book written like this! My apologies to your editor.
Interesting.
Oooo! Try to retype one of your short stories in and see what happens!
I’m not certain I want to know…given what I know about Shakespeare. The first production of Hamlet…in particular.
Hamlet, you say…
Shakespeare himself made the first “correction” before I’d hardly started and Poe cut me off long before I was done. Rude the whole lot of them.
Not like women have been telling y'all this since the beginning of time or anything.
I mean, yeah, at one point three years ago I was curled up in a fetal position literally screaming/crying/gasping for breath on my bed in my dorm room, so my response to this headline is basically, “No shit.”
No wonder women are so likely to ignore heart disease/attack symptoms. If something isn’t as bad as my cramps, I figure it can’t be that bad.
THAT LAST COMMENT
No kidding! But when I said that as a kid my parents would tell me it wasn’t that bad?! Also just learned that women with weaker immune systems, it’s worse anyways.
miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit. im shooting everything. im laying down cover fire. im shooting the walls. im shooting my teammates. im shooting myself. my accuracy is 100% yall just dont know what im aiming at
I didn’t even read the rest because I’m still laughing at “miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit” like I’ve never read a more perfect phrase in my life
![lbardugo:
“ abellandapomegranate:
“ oldmanyellsatcloud:
“ [x]
”
That’s…the most hardcore I’ve ever seen someone make Dr. Seuss.
”
Unexpected.
”](http://68.media.tumblr.com/a0b825855c92483a23ecc263b10a0ee4/tumblr_ml1ftmAAu71ro3ealo1_500.jpg)
