[video]
dicksweredinner:
2srooky:
nomercymedic:
My favorite thing about Dungeons & Dragons is how fucking quickly people become ride-or-die bitches with each other
no lie i had a campaign where I tried playing a really chaotic neutral “leave me alone” rouge and ended up attached at the hip to our monk who couldn’t roll higher than a natural 10 to literally save his life bc in our first encounter he called my character “a nice lass” and that was all it took
Once made a tinker type halfling and realized that it was actually a really terrible idea since 1) nobody else in the party was mechanical and 2) there weren’t really any weapons that depended on my character’s skills to use. So he was basically a tiny little short dude who was really good at fixing watches, making and throwing alchemist fires and creating warmachines (if he had the time). We also used a homebrew point system where if you crippled your character you could get more points to spend on other things - so poor little Halfling tinkerer had two leg braces, moved at half the speed of everyone else, had an addiction to smoking/chewing tobacco/alcohol and didn’t have the eyesight to use long range weapons/rifles.
He was useless in the current team comp of Elf Sorcerer/Wizard, Human Fighter and Dwarf Cleric of sorts.
Until someone joined and rolled a Warforged. They were inseparable, to the point where I put points in ride and got the DM to give us a little custom harness/saddle so my character could hitch a ride. The Warforged wanted to discover why it was created and what it meant to exist; the Halfling wanted to create something close to the deathstar.
Imagine this - you’re a shitty villain waiting for the heroes to arrive. You know three of them are generic elf/human/dwarf combo with magic, and the fourth is a shitty little halfling, when suddenly a Warforged comes charging through the goddamn wall (John Cena style) with a Halfling riding him like Mother Fucking Mad Max Master Blaster. The Warforged is a monk throwing Str 20+ punches with the fury of his machine god behind his fists while his tiny crippled buddy, who repairs him in exchange for a ride/protection, is suspended in a child’s carrying harness throwing alchemist fire with one hand and shooting off a revolver with the other.
Death comes for you, and it’s in a baby carrier on 7′ of fist.
This is the kind of shit I’m here for.
motorizedduck:
Translating is hard work. Even with pretty simple translations there can be unexpected difficulties if one of the languages has some funny special rules that apply to everyday life like honorifics and proper address, or words with multiple meanings so instead of asking what time it is you’ll end up asking for a potato. A professional translator can deal with this, of course. But for someone who just knows two pretty different languages, translating even something simple suddenly takes time and ends up getting pretty confusing for everyone involved.
And that leads us to ALIENS!
I think we’ve all read one scifi story or another where an alien is explaining some kind of concept that their species has - it might be related to their Special Sense or something else, but they always conveniently manage to put it in words that the character (and the reader) understand. This makes sense from a storytelling viewpoint, because we’re telling the story to human readers/listeners/viewers who need to understand what’s going on and why.
But it might be fun if the character is teamed up with an alien who gets so confused and/or worked up about some trivial translation that it gets turned into this big whole mysterious deal.
Human: “So, what’s this word mean, ‘thnguwe’?”
Alien: “Thnguwe has… special meaning for our people. It refers to a person’s ability to… form a meaningful connection with another of our kind, and our… entire society is built according to the… concept of thnguwe.”
Human: “How profound! Your civilization has much to teach us!”
Alien #2: “It means ‘talking’. Thnguwe means talking.”
Alien #1: “Oh, talking! I forgot what that word was in human language!”
As a linguist and a translator, I can attest: this is how it works in real life. But, also, when you know more than one language, and you are tired or distracted sometimes they just blurr together and you mix them up. Moreso if you are doing something, say reading in A, but then someone speaks to you in B.
Recon Mission went well. Kind of. They are all tired because Scientists human Marja just had to see if that big apex carnivore could be approached to be petted, for ‘Science!’. Or so Marja had explained to their Mission Commander larlik Kri’l, whom was not amused by an explanation so sensible for such an illogical behaviour. But nobody died so Head Scientist, human Cristina, declared it a win for the Science Team.
They were all dragging themselves to the Sustainance Unit in their ship when Scientist Second in Command, globrl Bwir inquired about what earthling cute companion the big apex carnivore - that almost got everyone killed, added Kri’l using only one mouth so only those in close proximity could hear xem - resembled.
“Oh, yeah it looked just like, ugh, what’stheword uhm, это канареечный” answered Marja whilst grabbing the concoction that all humans called coffe. The human had certainly started in Standard Interspace Communication Language, but the last words were uttered in Standard Earthlings Communication Language.
All turned head(s) to the other human in the Unit, who shrugged “That’s not my mother tongue”.
“Head Scientist Cristina, you are human, aren’t you? From Space Aust- I meant, from Earth, right?”
“Yes, but, it’s not like I know every language spoken on Earth!”
Silence resonated in the Unit.
Scientist Bwir dared to ask “W-what do you mean languages, as in more than one?”
“What, like in your planets they all speak the same language” was the crossed response xem had.
“Yes. Yes we do, because that’s the sensible thing to do. That’s what all sensible life forms who reach interspace travel do. One language, one planet” said slowly Bwird, while all the present crewmembers, who were able to, facepalmed.
Of course the deathplaneters had to complicate even the simplest thing.
Can we stop using Earthlings and start using DeathPlaneteers.
Chapter 43: How To Make Me Eat During Hyperfocus. No Really It’s Been 15 Hours And I’ll Never Do It Myself.
bisexualzuko:
“they can say whatever the hell they want I don’t care I’ll say ‘fuck you’”
“did you just flip the bird at us?”
“I did flip the bird, yeah”
“but did you flip it at US?”
“yo bruh if this starts a fight how easily can I get out of trouble”
“not very”
“So like I flipped the bird but it TOTALLY wasn’t at you”
let’s just appreciate that this is a conversation that actually literally happens in one of the greatest plays in the english language
The Republican Health Care Plan is right for health insurance companies and wrong for America.
Under
the plan, health insurance companies will not be
required to cover your lab services, your emergency room, your
pregnancy, your preventive medicine, your mental health care, your
prescriptions, or even children’s healthcare after 2019. This plan is awful!
Call your Congress Member and tell them to reject this plan!
Script:
Script: Hi, my name is [name] and I am calling to ask
Senator/Representative [name] to oppose the newly release ACA repeal
plan. This bill would lead to millions losing coverage and those with
coverage paying more for less comprehensive coverage. It will also hurt
millions of poor Americans. Thank you.
