[video]
why the h*ck am i so cold and why isn’t anyone snuggling me and why do grocery stores charge so much for a small amount of ice cream
why did you censor the word h*ck
because it’s a fucking bad word
(via bleedingwillow96)
i want to play this game
I would gain so much weight playing this game and I wouldn’t even care
IVE FUCKING PLAYED THIS GAME AND LET ME TELL YOU WHAT
SO ME AND THREE OTHER FRIENDS PLAYED IT THINKING THAT OH HEY ITS JUST GONNA BE A WHOLE PEPPER INSIDE AND WE WOULDNT ACTUALLY HAVE TO EAT IT
BUT NOOOOOOOOHOHOHO HELL THEY TOOK PEPPERS THE SAME HOTNESS OF SATANS ASSCRACK AND INTEGRATED THEM INTO THE CHOCOLATE ITSELF LIKE SOME EVIL CONCOCTION OF FLAVORS AND MADE IT INTO THE DREADED BULLET YOU DONT WANT TO GET
THE PERSON WHO GOT IT WAS IN TEARS OVER THE HEAT WITHIN SECONDS AND HAD ONLY EATEN THE VERY TINY TIP OF IT
SO WHAT DO THE REST OF US DO, AS THE (QUESTIONABLY) SANE HUMANS WE ARE?
WE TRIED IT AS WELL
SO HERE WE HAVE A CAR FULL OF CRYING, PANTING TEENAGERS AND ONE DAD IN A CONFUSED PANIC, SO HE BROUGHT US ALL TO BEN AND JERRY’S AND WE ALL STUMBLE IN LIKE “GIVE US ICE CREAM NOW” AND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER WERE SCARED AND CONFUSED TRYING TO ASK WHAT FUCKING FLAVOR WE WANTED AND THE DAD WAS SITTING THERE TRYING TO GET AN ANSWER AND SOME RANDOM KID WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF US AND IT WAS GENERALLY JUST A VERY SHITTY SITUATION
SO WE GOT OUR ICE CREAM AND FINALLY CALMED DOWN AFTER A WHILE ENOUGH TO TALK LIKE NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS
AND THEN WE MADE THE DAD TRY IT WHICH WAS A VERY FUCKING BAD IDEA AS HE WAS BROUGHT TO THE SAME STATE AND HAD TO GET ICE CREAM AS WELL
SO ALL IN ALL DONT PLAY THIS GAME UNLESS YOU EAT HOT THINGS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CANDY OR YOU’LL REGRET IT
the rest of the bullets tasted quite swell and we enjoyed them later once our taste buds started working again bUT DONT PLAY THIS GAME OR AT LEAST DONT FUCKING TRY IT ONCE SOMEONE ELSE GETS THE DEATH BULLET
Fire can not kill a dragon
(via bleedingwillow96)
tiny science
Whenever a student asks for a beaker and doesn’t specify capacity…
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
my children have too many legs .. but they are handsome and strong
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
my favorite phrase in the english language is “i shit you not”
I speak some Spanish, some Chinese, some Latin, and some Irish, and I can confirm that this is still one of my absolute favorites.
(Source: askinnyblackman, via bleedingwillow96)
rest rest REST REST REST REST REST REST
WHY IS THERE A CRESCENDO UNDER A REST?!?
I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS OH MY GOD
forcefully rest
then FIERCELY RESTBy the end of the 39 bars of straight rest, you are tired, and bored. You begin burning holes in your band director with your eyes, cursing him for choosing a song in which you have such a crappy part. Only half of the rests have gone by. Your frustration, combined with that of the rest of your section, begins to reach out. The audience begins to notice something amiss. A fourth of the rests remain. Your silent anger itself becomes more of an artistic expression than the song was in the first place. The band is no longer relevant; your rage has overshadowed it. Only five bars of rest remain. Riots break out in the audience. The conductor is waving his arms frantically but the band cannot play louder than your silence. The song ends. The silence doubles. The next song does not begin. The rests are eternal.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
especially in the winter
(Source: ensyme, via bleedingwillow96)
Found a paper I wrote in 5th grade that I got an ‘f’ on.
My prompt was “Imagine you are sitting on a cloud, what would you do or see”
I wrote,
“I would see the ground as I fell because I would fall through it because in science you told us that clouds were just water mists.”
Basically the American education system
(via bleedingwillow96)
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