Remember my pet caterpillar Shane? Found him at church during a sermon about Satan XD. He was such a fun pet in his larval stage. He used to love to swing from my hair.
Then everything changed when he pupated. He never touched me. He just spent several months looking and acting like a turd
But it was worth it! Look at him now! He’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!! And the friendly disposition has returned full force! Now he sits on my shoulder watching The Sing Off with me. Also, he’s a she! and she just laid eggs! I can’t wait for the 2nd generation!
do you let her go outside?
ofcourse, how do you think she ended up pregnant? She summoned a fancy suitor to my backyard with her feminine lady smells
real life pokemon trainer
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
HOW DO I LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT I AM INTERESTED IN KISSING THEM
#WITHOUT EXPLICITLY SAYING THAT I AM INTERESTED IN KISSING THEM#BECAUSE I CAN’T DO THAT
(Source: goodson, via allephant)
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how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
he gave her a ring
A+ gifuse
(Source: littlebeam, via awwhawkeye)
Anonymous asked: Have you heard of the sooty owl? They are frightening and their eyes are probably hell portals.
i DID actually while i was looking up owls a while back oh MAN they have incredible faces, like some kinda confused ghost who ended up in a bird and now just has to live with it
looks like they come in lesser and greater sooty flavors, and theyre both pretty similar except for their sizes (about 43 cm for the greater, 37 for the lesser)
theyre like someone took a barn owl and just lowered the brightness, threw some speckles in there, made their eyes a direct portal to the infinite nightmarish abyss, called it a day
the YOUNG SOOTY OWLS on the other hand dont even look like real animals. they look like someone made a dodo out of felt and accidentally left it in a dryer. owls are great
OMG THEY ARE MAGNIFICENT!
so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling
Mostly from Steve
Especially from Steve
Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –
Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.
Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)
and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide
Oh my god.
Headcanon accepted so hard
(via winjennster)
so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling
Mostly from Steve
Especially from Steve
Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –
Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.
Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)
and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide
Oh my god.
Headcanon accepted so hard
(via winjennster)
