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I’ve got 99 problems and my inability to self motivate is causing every single one of them.
(Source: disease-danger-darkness-silence, via awwhawkeye)
*cracks neck* my time has come
Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.
Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.
Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.
Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.
Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.
NOW THE FUN BEGINS.
You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.
Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)
Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.
Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.
And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.
Basically this
bonus: set up trust funds for like a ton of poor kids
(Source: olivaster, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
for my birthday i would like a pacific rim two-player game for wii in which you and a friend can be co-pilots in a jaeger and utilize the programming and game mechanisms of DDR and Just Dance as they were meant to truly be used
fiGHTING KAIJU
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
“You may be a delicate flower but, hey, so is Belladonna and it can still kill people.” — My boss, in what is probably the most inspiring thing I’ve ever heard. (via heloisedevillefort)
(Source: pushingspacies, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
one of my favourite things about alexander the great is that once when he was spectating a song and dance competition with his men, the guy who won was asked to go up and meet alexander. the soldiers then began to chant ‘kiss him kiss him!’ or something along those lines, so alexander grabs him and just starts to make out with him
Well he was hot.
(via goblinbutch)
“you’re obsessed with your mental illness”
i know right? it’s almost like it impacts every part of my life
“it’s all in your head”
I know right? it’s almost like it’s a mental illness
“why do you let it affect you and stop you from being able to do things?”
I know right? It’s almost like it’s an ACTUAL ILLNESS
(Source: ghostielevi, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
petition to start romanticizing brown eyes
(Source: maakinamis, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
everyone made fun of dreamworks. it hid in the shadows. it learned. it became aware. now it is strong and threatening and making films w ridiculously high quality animation and unique plots while disney is still jacking off to a movie it released almost a year ago.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
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