“So it’s a necklace,” Ezekiel said, frowning. “What’s it going to do for us again?”
“It’s not just a necklace,” Jake said, pushing Ezekiel out of the way. “It’s the last relic of the Romanov family. Story goes,” he added in a hushed tone, reaching out to touch the small ruby pendant with a reverent gloved finger, “that this was that saved Anastasia Romanova’s life.”
“It’s a ruby the size of a penny,” Eve observed, leaning against the desk with an eye on the door of the Annex. “I don’t see that thing blocking any bullets any time soon.”
“Right, because logic matters so much here,” Ezekiel muttered, and Jake laughed. Jenkins, at his desk poring over a text that appeared to be in a dialect of English that had passed out of use some time before the Renaissance, made an annoyed sound.
Anyway I just now got around to watching the Season 2 finale (I am BEHIND because College, okay) and I’m so glad we can all agree that Eve is an avatar of the Lady of the Lake and Flynn is the reincarnation of Arthur B U T I still have not gotten my Seige Perilous namedrop!
YOU HAVE GALAHAD R I G H T T H E R E
it’s weird how bra commercials are more aimed towards straight male audiences more than the audience that’s actually gonna buy a fuckn bra
If it were aimed toward women, it would be like “THIS BRA IS COMFY AS SHIT! YOU WON’T WANNA TAKE IT OFF. LOOK AT THE HIRED MALE ACTORS SWOONING OVER THE HIRED ACTRESS”
SOOOOLD
THIS BRA WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE CHRIS EVANS IS PERSONALLY HOLDING YOUR BREASTS 24/7. LOOK THIS SHIT COMES IN LIKE 78 DIFFERENT COLORS TO MATCH YOUR SKIN TONE OR YOUR CLOTHING OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, YOU GOT OPTIONS! NO LACE WE CAN DO NO LACE THAT SHIT ITCHES. YOU WANT POLKADOTS FUCK YEAH POLKA DOTS! LOOK EACH CUP HAS POCKETS IN IT FUCKING HELL POCKETS IN YOUR BRA CALM THE FUCK DOWN WORLD LET ME TAKE THIS ALL IN. MACHINE WASHABLE FUCK YEAH THROW THIS SHIT IN YOUR WASHER, IT’S NOT GONNA TANGLE, IT’S MADE WITH ASGARDIAN BILGESNIPE TAIL HAIR IT’S INDESTRUCTABLE. THIS BRA’S GONNA BEEP IF IT DETECTS CANCER IN YOUR BOOBS THAT SHIT AIN’T RIGHT SO CHECK YOUR BOOBS PEOPLE. FUCK YEAH THIS BRA IS AMAZING. SCIENCE.
You had me at “this bra will make you feel like Chris Evans is personally holding your breasts 24/7”
(via fireflyca)
FUCK THIS!!! im a humanities/arts person!!! FUCK MATH!!! what the fuck is even calculus!!! what r u calculating!!!! fuck off!!!
fuck i’m a STEM person and honestly same, truer words never spoken
anything more than a second derivative should be against the geneva convention
(Source: lollyhaze, via windbladess)
Sometimes I think about my high school English teacher. She was a few years away from retirement but still too many years for her liking. She was completely fed with teaching. But instead of many teachers who are fed with teaching but try to hide it and just project their frustration of their students, she would joke about how tired she was of teaching all the time. Every Friday she would make a thank-god-it’s-Friday joke. Every Monday she would bemoan the fact that it was Monday. If she could spend the class hour doing something remotely adjacent to teaching but not teaching, she would seize the occasion, like showing the entire school the pictures she’d taken on the school trip.
On our last year, because of some rule of our school, we were supposed to have only one subject between English and Art at our final exams, and we as a class would be able to pick which one. We picked art so basically our English teacher found herself in a position where she could teach us, like, 1% of the program and it wouldn’t matter since we wouldn’t be examined on her subject.
So this woman with not a single fuck left to give spent almost an entire school year doing things like reading us letters written to Lord Byron by some lover of his (as you do), and, of course, showing us movies related to modern English literature (that I would illegally download and put on a DVD for her. She would call me her little pirate). The movies included movies like an adaptation of The Importance of Being Earnest (cute and harmless), Tess of the D’Urbervilles (an adventure. really try showing a bunch of eighteen-year-olds the movie Tess of the D’Urbervilles.) and fucking WILDE. You know what Wilde is? Well, it’s about Oscar Wilde. And it is about his relationships with men. And it’s, well, fairly explicit. Like, it’s not the kind of movie that one would think ‘mmm I’ll show it to a class of teenagers’. But did this woman give a fuck? No she didn’t. She just showed a class of teenagers a movie about men having sex with men like it was nothing. No one in the class made a single joke or mocked the movie, and afterwards she complimented us for being much more mature than she expected, which means she expected us not to be mature about it, which means that she just was ready to watch the world burn and she didn’t give a single fuck about it.
So this about-sixty-year-old woman had a lot of very Catholic kids, in Italy, in 2008/2009, watch a fairly explicit gay movie like the personification of a ‘deal with it’ gif and no one batted an eye
A hero.
(via littlestartopaz)
“in a heartbeat” more like “how many lgbt+ people can we make cry actual tears of happiness in the span of four minutes”
(via slyrider)
Anonymous asked: thank you for responding!! yes it was on there haha. i hope you feel better soon, sending all the puppies your way ❤
Thank you, dear anon! I’m hoping to have some headcanons up soon!
me: *to my grandchildren* this roomba is a priceless artifact of our family. our heirloomba.
people unfollowed me because of this post
good
(via littlestartopaz)
remember the Son of Neptune book where Hazel describe Percy and he was so RIDICULOUSLY powerful and beautiful and terrifying she thought he was god and my son is honestly so strong and must be a horrific enemy and a force to be feared
…but we forget because we know his inner dialogue is 50% “fuck fuck fuck AHHHHHHHHH well shit” and the other 50% is “I have no idea what’s going on but let’s just roll with it and hope I survive”
And honestly Percy Jackson is 10/10 the most relatable fake adult millennial to ever bluff his way through life. A true icon. The hero our generation deserves.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
just realized the boy in in a heartbeat is reading the picture of dorian gray
That doesn’t even say gray…it say gay..
omg
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
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