Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Nov 03

daimonie:

motherfuckingshakespeare:

runecestershire:

runecestershire:

persephonesidekick:

harmonicakind:

yknow if romeo had just Cried on juliets corpse for a couple hours instead of drinking poison Right Then they would have been Fine

The moral of the story is: always take time to cry for a few hours before making important decisions.

So I’m more or less being facetious here, but this is actually a thing.

Hamlet is genre savvy. Hamlet knows how Tragedies work, and he’s not going to rush in and get stabby without making absolutely certain he’s got all the facts.

Except once he thinks he has all the facts – once he’s certain that it really is the ghost of his father and Claudius really did kill him, he rushes in and stabs the wrong guy, which starts a domino line of deaths and gets Laertes embroiled in his own revenge tragedy and ultimately results in the deaths of nearly every character other than Horatio.

That’s the irony and the tragedy of the story. Hamlet knows his tropes and actively tries to avoid them, and the tropes get him anyway. It’s inevitable, the tropes are hungry.

I want a sticker that says the tropes are hungry so I can put it on my laptop

i met a scholar once who said that tragedies aren’t about a silly “flaw” or anything, it’s about having a hero who’s just in the wrong goddamn story

if hamlet swapped places with othello he wouldn’t be duped by any of iago’s shit, he’d sit down & have a good think & actually examine the facts before taking action. meanwhile in denmark, othello would have killed claudius before act 2 could even start. but instead nope, they’re both in situations where their greatest strengths are totally useless and now we’ve got all these bodies to bury.

(Source: selfiegoth, via patroclvss)

(Source: dukeofbookingham)

endgaem:

bigboss-smallpond:

warheads-r-us:

killzombieseatbacon:

cyrodiil-burns:

live-exist-die:

evil-shenanigans-alpha:

epicdoubletap:

arizonagunguy:

goodoleboyslikeme:

arizonagunguy:

sourprincess:

piratebay-premium:

meepicusmaximus:

bluntedanimehunk:

hunewm:

bluntedanimehunk:

internetlaureate:

bluntedanimehunk:

why do nice girls always go for the assholes i dont even like pegging

No. Just. NO. I am so sick of this bullshit stereotype being both perpetuated AND played out. No. 

um

Saying nice girls go with the assholes is the biggest stereotype in relationships of all time

uM

We don’t go with assholes, we go with the people who give us attention at the right time and ignore us at the right time and it just so happens to be the people who don’t care about us and it’s stupid a/f

This post represents tumblr

Okay but like that’s the most true stereotype ever… so many dumb nice girls date douchebags lmao

ARE YOU SERIOUS

The problem is not that nice girls date assholes, it’s that nice girls *knowingly* date assholes and then have the nerve to complain and ask “why can’t I find a nice guy?”

And I will now stop before this becomes a rant.

You dont get this post do you? Lol

The comments are priceless.

So many people being clueless.

Originally posted by heckyeahreactiongifs

Douchebags always date douchebags. The kicker is douchebags have 0 self-awareness that they are douchebags so in turn they complain that “they can never find a nice guy/sane girl.”

Holy fuck man not you too

So many non-comprehending mother fuckers

Pure comedy gold.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

This post is a perfect example of what people mean when we talk about how nobody on this godforsaken website has any fucking reading comprehension skills

(Source: saturdaynightbigcocksalaryman, via patroclvss)

tumblrfolk, we are so much more skilled than we think

peppersandcats:

ladyorpheus:

roseisaghost:

trashcan-supernova:

smoinerd:

vrabia:

prairie-grass:

a-spoon-is-born:

intrikate88:

elodieunderglass:

one thing I want to say today relates to my current job. (As you guys know, I’ve left off working in science labs to work an office job in sci comm. My role is kind of … nebulous and involves a lot of “oh, Elodie can help you with that, she does weird stuff. Train Elodie on that.”)

Because it’s an office job, the mentality is for everyone to present their workflows as incredibly difficult and skilled, requiring a lot of training and experience to do properly. Which is fair enough! These skills are difficult!

“Elodie, today we are going to train you to use… A HIGHLY COMPLICATED AND DIFFICULT WEBSITE INTERFACE. You will need to take a lot of notes and pay careful attention, because it is extremely advanced. ARE YOU READY”

“… This is Wordpress.”

“…No it isn’t! it says something different at the top. And it’s very complicated, it’s not something you can just know already.”

“Nah son, don’t worry, it’s Wordpress. I mean, God knows I don’t blog much, but I can manage me a bit of Wordpress, it’s cool.”

“No. You can’t. Don’t worry, it’s very difficult. Now sit still and be trained on how to upload a photo to Wordpress.”

“All right.”

—-

“Elodie, do you think that you can MANAGE SOCIAL MEDIA? It is INCREDIBLY HARD and may involve THE HASHTAGS”

“… I think I’ll manage.”

—-

“Elodie, can you put a HYPERLINK in a thing? Think about it before you answer.”

“Is it like a BBCode kind of thing, with the boxy bracket things, or do you want it in HTML, with like angley bracket things?”

“It is a button that you press that says HYPERLINK.”

“I can do this thing for you.”

—-

“Elodie, can you write a punchy summary that will make people want to click on a special link that says “read more” to read all of the text?“

“Probably?”

—-

“Elodie, this is how to use TAGS on CONTENT. TAGS on CONTENT are important because - because of THINGS. Things that are too arcane and mysterious for anyone below the level of Manager to know.”

“Cool, I can tag stuff for you.”

—-

“Elodie, this is obviously a ridiculous question, but can you edit videos?”

“Not very well, and only if you want to make it look like there is sexual tension between characters from different forms of visual media, or perhaps to make a trailer for a fanfiction? Which is not necessarily a good use of my time and I’m not sure why I felt it was so cool to do to begin with…”

“What?”

“Actually, upon further reflection: no. No. Nope. I can’t edit videos. They’re completely beyond me. Not in my wheelhouse. Hate videos. Hate them. No innate skill whatsoever.”

“That’s what we thought”

—-

“Elodie?! You can use PHOTOSHOP?!”

“Yeah, I mean, I usually just use Pixlr. It’s free, it’s online, it’s powerful, you don’t have to download anything…”

“but you are not a GRAPHIC DESIGNER!!”

“Er… no.”

“Next you’ll be telling us you can MAKE AN ANIMATED PICTURE.”

“I mean, I haven’t really done a lot of it since Livejournal, and they weren’t that good anyway, but yeah… I can do you reaction images.”

“THAT IS WITCHCRAFT”

“Yes. Definitely.”

—-

What I’m trying to say is: a lot of people talk a lot of crap about what we Millenials do on the Internet, because there is NO CAPITALISTIC VALUE in the screwing around we do with our friends. “Ughh why are you ALWAYS on the computer?” our parents whined.

“How did you make the text go all slanty like that?” our bosses wonder.

We have decades of experience in Photoshop. We know how to communicate; we can make people across the planet care about our problems. We know how to edit media to make two characters look like they’re having the sexual tensions. We can make people read our posts, follow us, share our content. We run and manage our own websites - and make them pretty. We moderate conversations, enforce commenting policies, manage compromises, lead battles, encourage peace, defend ourselves from attack, inspire others, and foster incredible levels of communication.

We produce our art. We advertise our art. We engage with others through our art. We accept constructive criticism and dismiss destructive trolling of our art. We improve our art. Our art gets better.

We narrate our stories.

All by ourselves. Our pretty blog backgrounds, custom-edited themes, tasteful graphics, punchy content, clever gifs, our snappy putdowns and smart-ass text posts, even our familiarity with fonts and composition - all of these skills we’ve casually accumulated for fun/approval are MINDBLOWING LEVELS OF COMPETENCE IN THE WORKFORCE.

When these skills are sold to you - when they’re packaged and marketed, and when you pay to consume them and have the Elders rate you on them - they are incredibly valuable. They are Media and Communications degrees. They are marketing internships. They are leadership workshops. They are graphics design modules. They are web design courses. They are programming courses. We are good at this shit; we have it nailed down.

You can’t put “fandom” or “blogging” on your CV, but you deserve to. You should get this credit. You should claim this power and authority.

Claim these skills. They are valuable. They are important.

Everything you have ever done is a part of your powerful makings.

I want to second what elodieunderglass has to say here, because it’s so true. You want to buff up your resume or your LinkedIn page? 

-if you know enough html to do <i>this is italic text</i>, then you understand HTML and can pretty much call yourself a Junior Developer

-if you ever wanted to customize your LJ or tumblr and copied someone’s CSS code and then went in and tweaked font color and added your own header image? You understand CSS and again, you can put Junior Developer in your LinkedIn title. 

-if you can use twitter and tumblr and put hashtags and regular tags on stuff, you’re a Social Media Manager. If you can get people to follow you and comment back, you have Demonstrated Social Media Efficacy.

-if you can use Photoshop (or Pixlr!) to make five million pictures of Natalie Dormer really pretty, you are a Photo Editor

-if you can migrate some of your Photoshop skills to InDesign, you are a Production Editor with demonstrable skills in Layout For Print Publications

-if you want to look even more impressive and pick up an easy job that mostly involves googling bits of code to copy and fuck around with, go play on CodeAcademy and get yourself qualified in not just HTML and CSS, but also JavaScript, Ruby, Python, and others. Again, this makes you a Software/Applications Developer.

The only reason you’re given the impression that these are jobs for really smart brogrammers with masters degrees in computer science is because scary jargon keeps people out. Look stuff up, and you’ll find out you already know a ton of this material. I promise you, you’re more qualified for tech/developer jobs than a lot of the people actually working at firms that focus on those kind of jobs. 

^

Often in my job people ask me if I can do something, and if I respond with, ‘No, but I’m sure I could find out how,’ they look at me like my head just rotated 360 degrees. One thing about being on the internet in this age is that you have experienced how you can just google something and you’ll probably find a youtube tutorial.

Don’t know how to use the Puppetwarp in Photoshop? *20 minutes later and some cursing included* Okay, now I do.

Don’t know how to knit? *ten minutes later* totes pro.

A lot of people bag our generation but there’s so much to be said for the sheer amount of information we’re used to absorbing and parsing. Don’t underestimate that, either!

OK entry-level kids, listen. ‘I don’t know how to do this but just give me 20 minutes’ is probably the most important, career-advancing thing you can say at your workplace because not only does it show that you’re adaptable and proactive and any number of dumb buzzwords that happen to be popular in The Industry these days. BUT If you build up on it over time, it will also pretty much make you indispensable, which is so important in an unstable job market. 

Consider this: unless you get a job with a super-successful startup where your boss is like 25, chances are you’re going to land in company where the higher-ups are in their 40s-50s, thus belonging to that particular generation that habitually puts down millenials for having No Experience of Real Life. Except in a workplace environment this means they expect that they have to train you on every single little thing, aka waste time and resources on you, aka see you as a soooort of useful nuisance who’s there to do the little menial jobs no one else wants to do. This is where the last to come first to go thing comes from really.

What your crusty 50+ y/o bosses don’t realize is that ‘being on the computer’ all day, you inherently develop a thing called rapid skill acquisition. Yeah, it sounds fancy (so fancy you can put it in your CV) but most of the time, as the previous comments point out, it just involves Google and YT tutorials. You’ll be surprised how many highbrow professionals don’t actually do this, b/c they reached the top and feel like they have a secure position and basically fall so behind on things that a 20 y/o intern can out-skill them, or quickly learn to out-skill them any day of the week. Most likely they’re not aware of this. And no, it’s not as out there as it sounds. Consider you’re talking to people who think you need training to use Wordpress. Imagine what telling them you can use a blogging platform to create an easy to update professional looking website for fucking free will do to them. Imagine telling them you can make gorgeous graphics from scratch, update the company logo or design some rad business cards. THERE IS SO MUCH YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO THAT THEY DON’T KNOW CAN BE DONE. 

A couple of years ago I interned for a research centre where I did this all the time. Three weeks in they called me to sign an employment contract that tripled my pay and I got to go everywhere with them and meet important people in my field, it was great. My 23 y/o brother, who doesn’t have a single solitary hour of formal training in PR/marketing or IT in his degree, interned as marketing assistant for a small IT company and was so quick to catch on that they hired him after the internship and by the end of the year he’d already helped increase their turnover. Eight months, unpaid internship included, and he made them more money! That kid is never going to get fired!

Also learn some programming/web design. Seriously. I see these self-taught 16 y/o kids making gorgeous Tumblr themes from scratch and I’m like. You are al fucking wizards. Not even out of highschool yet and you’re pretty much set up for a job that potentially pays in the 6 digits. 

You are smart and you are creative and you are amazing! You need to be brave and confident and capitalize on that because you’ve got what it takes and more. Fuck the jargon, you’ve got the skills.

this is some great stuff to read

This patched my tired sadbrain abit.
I learned how to crochet from YT.

I told my boss that I was looking up on youtube how to fix my computer and I was probably going to do it this next weekend but I was a tiny bit nervous because I haven’t taken apart a model like this before so some things are different.

She was like, you can do that? What?

Every time I use the Internet in any meaningful way to make my job easier (like creating color coded spreadsheets for ordering and inventory and menus etc), she just is so confused. She’s almost 60, by the way.

The first time I was like, I’m gonna just make a spreadsheet, she was like, just give it to A (who is 21), she’ll type it up for you. I was like, no? Why would I write it out on paper and then type it up?

I am highly underestimated. Often.

Often in my job people ask me if I can do something, and if I respond with, ‘No, but I’m sure I could find out how,’

^^I was an English major. I am now a Software Specialist in the IT Department simply because of the above ^^ words cannot describe how far this response and attitude will get you.

I laughed out loud at “may involve THE HASHTAGS” and am now feeling much better about my day. Also my freelancing.

I was also an English major and now I am a Verification Engineer™ who says things like “baretailed the service logs for the inbound router and they’re not throwing an error but the SQL table isn’t updating” like a boss. Because I can Google. And I used nearly exactly that “I’m sure I could find out how” answer in my job interview.

(via patroclvss)

Nov 02

littlestartopaz:

kasualkaymer:

fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment:

pappyjoes:

i hate writing historical fic because every five sentences you’re googling random shit like “when did billiards become popular in america” & i’ll have you know it was the 1820s

fun fact my pals the word ‘okay’ or ‘O.K.’ (the abbreviation for the old timey spelling of ‘all correct’) was popularized in 1840 by Van Buren’s US presidential election slogan and seeing it in historical fiction before then feels like a little glitch in the matrix, but seeing it in an Old Timey Fantasy setting sends me down the rabbit hole of how a fantasy world language would be brutal to translate, and language in general is a trip, and nothing means anything, probably 

I just want to add a correction: O.K. was not an abbreviation for an “old-timey” spelling of “all correct”; it is in fact an abbreviation for an INTENTIONAL MISSPELLING of “all correct.” There was a short-lived period in the 1800s where it became amusing and trendy to flagrantly misspell conversational phrases and then abbreviate them, and “O.K.” is the only one to survive to the present day.

O.K. is an ancient MEME.

@fujoshi-kianna-leigh … About that not tagging people in things…. @words-writ-in-starlight @twistedangelsays

(via littlestartopaz)

Anonymous asked: Which Avenger is the worst driver?

buckykingofmemes:

nat, clint & tony are all highly trained defensive drivers. riding with them is like being in a car chase, but they know what theyre doing so its actually pretty safe

dr banner drives like hes 90: super slow and cautious, but with occasional really terrifying bits of road rage. tony likes to make him drive convertables so that if he hulks out he wont have to do it through the roof of a car

steve…im not sure if anyone ever really taught steve how to drive or if he just figured it out on the fly. either way no one wants to ride with steve because he’s 1. a terrible driver and 2. probably going to get his vehicle exploded sooner or later

thor and vision dont drive. 

wanda drives like a russian; which is to say, however the fuck she wants, and everyone else better make room for her. its a good thing she has magic powers or she’d probably have died in a car accident by now. 

it turns out i can drive anything like an expert. literally anything. two months ago one of tonys competitors released a ‘top secret’ jetpack prototype and i already knew how to pilot it. no idea how or why

pisschugger:

everentropy:

pisschugger:

in exactly one week the entire english speaking world can stop seeing american election coverage 25 hours a day for the first time in two years
like + reblog to weep tears of pure joy

You’re not even American. IMAGINE HOW BAD IT IS FOR US

no sorry im trying very hard to ignore your country

Not being American must SUCK during this election cycle, and I’m not being sarcastic here, I mean???  Like, you guys have to put up with all the stress and anxiety we dump onto the internet and the TV and literally every other media available, and like.  It’s not even your country.  Trump would rapidly become everyone’s problem, but if he gets elected it’s nothing y’all outside the borders can STOP (although who wants to go thousandsth-ies on an assassin with me?), and fuck.  The anxiety level must be high.  I am so sorry on everyone’s behalf.

(Source: kisshugger, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

lonercs asked: Fun fact: The "friendzone" is real. It's called unrequited love. It's a major literary trope and the source of countless poetry.

agoodcartoon:

freak-freely:

mr-prism:

enscenic:

scifiscribbler:

lightspeedsound:

cognitivedissonance:

agoodcartoon:

the-cat-who-walks-through-walls:

thisblogisfortherats:

the-cat-who-walks-through-walls:

agoodcartoon:

And the medieval chunk of the poetry you’re talking about is entirely based around the idea that love ennobles, and so if one loves but is not loved in return, because the woman is married or trapped in a tower or THIRTEEN GODDAMNED YEARS OLD, one is obligated to go out into the world and use that love as a catalyst to do great and good things.

The “friendzone” narrative cannibalizes this, because it replaces the story of Working Your Passion On The World To Make It Better with the story of Working Your Passion On Some Judgemental Cockteasing Bitch Because Something Something My Penis.

somehow i cant imagine a fuckboy sitting down and composing a ghazal

…damnit, don’t make me hope

don’t make me hope to one day see a poem where just over half the lines end in “because something something my penis”

don’t do that to me

what ungrateful bitch has put me in the friend zone?
who spurned my love, just as i was in the end zone?


m’lady, i tipped the fedora of my heart your way –

believe me, my love was no pretend zone


i felt euphoric for days, with your attention,

now here i languish, alone, in the condemned zone

That’s it, agoodcartoon is a goddamn poet for the ages.

Forsooth, mine love, why can’t you doth see me?
Through the chains of jocks which hast trapped thee?


My fedora displays knowledge and class
Unlike yon alpha male’s firm, tonéd ass


My insults will pique your interests with ease
Since a true meninist shan’t deign to please


You can’t know what a Nice Guy’s true love is
Because friendzone, something, something penis


I will never, ever get the friend zone as a concept. It’s utterly stupid.

ha ha ha ha ha ha!

“My lady, the strings of my heart you’ve been plucking
But instead of my junk it’s that hunk that you’re fucking
Your heart is as cold as a frozen ice block
Because you will not something something my cock”

“I can’t believe you really thought we’d be friends
Can’t you see I’ve been nice for ulterior ends
The fact that you don’t live to fuck me is sick
You’re worthless to me something something my dick”

These are the thoughts of a million douchebags
Who deserve to hump nothing but crusty cumrags
She’s a goddess, you dolt, she’s a modern day Venus
There is more to love than something something your penis.

These are all Drake songs, right?

You used to put me in the

You used to, you used to

M’lady

You used to put me in the friend zone

Late night when you spurned my love

Put me in the friend zone

Late night when you spurned my love

And I know when that fedora tips

That’s when I feel my heart rip

I know when that fedora tips

That’s when i feel my heart rip

My favorite definition of the distinction is that “unrequited love” means “you don’t love me back and that’s MY concern,” whereas “the friendzone” means “you don’t love me back/want to fuck me, and that’s YOUR problem.”  Obviously one of these is going to lend itself more to noble knightly behavior and world-saving then the other.