The New York Times’ response to Trump’s attempted cease-and-desist letter is literally just NYT attorney David E. McCraw slammin 2 shots of scorpion vodka, leaping onto a table w/ a death’s-head grin & eyes ablaze and yelling “Do it, my guy!!! Haha, DO IT!!!!!” as X Gon Give It To Ya thumps over the sound system and I for one couldn’t be happier
flvffs asked: mangoes are fantastic and i will fight you
Mangoes have a weird-ass flavor and texture, and FURTHERMORE, they’re like 93.56% pit and therefore a huge pain in the ass. In the hierarchy of fruit they rank slightly above fruit with hair and avocados, ie not in the edible range.
“I love the tune of this song but hate the gross lyrics. What should I do?”
“But I like both old and new songs”
“I also like polka?”
This man is a treasure.
Weird Al:
1. Is very cautious about the effect of his works, apologizing whenever he does something even a tiny bit offensive on accident.
2. Asks for permission from the creators of the songs he parodies, even though he legally doesn’t have to.
3. Is a straight-up genius; he skipped two grades and graduated at 16 the valedictorian of his class. He went to CalTech.
4. Is often upset by the fact that any parody of any song is usually mistakenly attributed to him, espeically the dirty ones because he’s careful to keep his music safe for all ages.
5. Is a genuine A+ human being, 10/10 would recommend.
Circumstances tend to be the same, in each lifetime—relationships
between parents, number of siblings, sometimes even place of birth. No one’s sure why. A pretty woman fallen from lofty social
status, a wandered-off man, an older brother.
If that’s the lot you drew at your first birth, it’s likely to be the
one you land the second-third-fourth time around.
The illness hits Christiansted earlier, this time. Andre Westen is seven, his brother and father
already gone. Last time, his mother got
the worst of it—this time, it’s Andre who’s shaking and sick for two weeks, his
gaunt and recovering mother clinging to his hand. He lives, though, and when he opens his eyes
after the fever breaks, the first thing out of his mouth is, “I’m going to need
to change my name.” There are conditions
in place, laws and qualifiers that allow people to claim their past selves if
they prefer and can prove it. And Andre does prefer, and can prove it. He’s young for
such a powerful revelation—he can recite the names of teachers and colleagues,
list details down to the minute, and with so little under his belt of this life,
that one seems just as immediate—and it unnerves people to hear him wander from
speaking like a child to speaking like a grown man when he’s distracted, but
they give him his name.
people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like
its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit
peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs.
a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you
listen
listen
have you ever met a swan
if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are
Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST
“Oh man, I can’t deal with birds ‘cause they’re dinosaurs and sometimes it’s like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.”
“Have you ever interacted with a goose? ‘Cause those things are dicks.”
If chickens were still the size of a T-Rex we’d all be dead. No question.
Feathered creatures that give some serious lie to the idea that feathered dinosaurs ain’t scary:
This is a bearded vulture, or lammergeier. It’s four feet long and has a nine foot wingspan and it eats bones.
This is a shoebill stork. It dropped the duck without biting down shortly after the picture was taken, but if it had decided not to-
… it could have been the end of the road for that duck.
This is the last thing a fish sees before a macaroni penguin eats it.
This is a secretary bird in the act of demonstrating to Lord Voldemort that he came to the wrong neighborhood, ese.
This is a goose.
This is a vulture.
This is a cassowary on the attack.
Be glad I couldn’t find the actual gif of a pelican swallowing a fish, because it’s freakin’ Lovecraftian in its HEADS SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY factor. You’ll have to settle for the idea of a feathered dinosaur suddenly going GLORP and devouring its victims whole just like this lady here.
Steven Spielberg didn’t create these. These are the feet of an emu.
And this is what happens when a swan (this one is named Asboy; his father was Mr. Asbo, the first swan in the UK to get named after an anti-social behavior order in ‘honor’ of his tendency to attack boaters) decides it doesn’t like you. I should probably note that this one attacked a cow.
Respect the feathered dinosaur, yo.
Terrifying. The last two illustrate why you did not fuck around with the Children of Lir.
I love the headcanon that Ben Organa Kylo Ren is really only a good-to-middling Force-user in his own right. He doesn’t wield the raw power of Anakin Skywalker, or have Luke’s familiarity with and awareness of the Force as a living entity; the dreams and intuitive knowledge that characterize Leia’s relationship with the Force are mostly the intervention of Snoke, or Ben’s own luck. He’s good, but not remarkable, and especially considering he’s a Skywalker.
(He’s just the only game in town and has worked hard to keep it that way, hence his shock at discovering Rey can kick his ass with both hands tied and absolutely no training whatsoever.)
But you know what Kylo Ren is excellent at? Sparking Force-sensitivity in others.
It’s not even a conscious ability. But all he had to do was stare searchingly at Finn across the ruins of Tuanul and suddenly—There has been an awakening, have you felt it? He rummages around in Rey’s skull and then she’s pushing back. He’s holed up with the remainder of the First Order armies in the wake of Starkiller, and Elevens is having dreams about an old man and the desert, and Howler can make things levitate and Lieutenant Crimmons almost choked out General Hux that one time.
(”By accident!” Crimmons exclaims from between bloodless lips. “It was an accident, I’m not even sure how I—please don’t space me, sir.”
Hux wheezes. Ren wheezes too, but that’s the noise the vocoder always makes when he laughs.)
It gets worse when he’s captured by the Resistance after the Battle of Dalujj, because for whatever reason—you know the reason, don’t be an idiot, Rey snaps as she snaps the binders around his wrists—there are far more latent Force-users affiliated with the Resistance than the First Order. With Kylo Ren in a cell, Luke is suddenly barraged by pilots and ops and intel officers who don’t understand why they can suddenly hear each other thinking, or communicate wordlessly across the base.
But the best part is how much this twists Kylo Ren up inside because he’s so godsdamn proud of all his new padawans (I am not your student, what the fuck, Finn says, looking deeply disturbed) but also……if they could stop being better than him in all things?
