Anonymous asked: Idk, you've always reminded me of Grantaire.
Well, I mean, given that I actually have a tag ‘I am Grantaire and Grantaire is me’, you are not incorrect.
Tell me what fictional character you think I am!
[video]
Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.
Bucky posts things like
“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”
“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”
“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”
“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”
“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”
“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”
“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “
OMG I LOVEEEE
YEEESSSSSSS!
“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”
“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”
“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”
“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”
“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained to be an assassin in the first place.”
“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”
“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”
“'Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”
“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”
(via littlestartopaz)
every non-gay person who calls us homosexuals has to pay me personally $100
reblog this if you, too, would like every single non-gay person who calls us homosexuals to pay you 100 american dollars in cash
(via skymurdock)
Anonymous asked: was reading through your book 4 reread, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Taxxons and Hork Bajir. Especially the 'Taxxons used to be ocean aliens and now they live on land kinda thing'
YEAH LET’S DO THAT. Okay, so, I ended up just doing the Taxxons rather than the Hork-Bajir because…um…this got long, to the shock of everyone, I’m sure. I might do the Hork-Bajir later. But yeah. Okay. I wrote this during Anatomy class over a couple days and then typed it up, so.
ALL RIGHT.
So, let’s start with a quick little recap I like to call Everything We Know About Taxxons.
What if by alien standards we are really cute?
And I don’t mean like attractive cute, I mean like baby otter cute. What if the stumble upon us and go “ohhhhh my god!!! Oh my god!!!! I’m dying this is- look at it! Look at them!!! Oh my god!!!”
We usually imagine having to come up with some Devils trade or unholy arrangement to get tech and trade with aliens, but the instant they see us the aliens immediately set out into conservation efforts. They’re like “their habitat is becoming harsh and unlivable for them! We have to save them!” And everyone just puts a picture of us next to this information and they all agree “Look at them! We have to save them!!” We become like the panda mascots of intergalactic conservation efforts.
Simultaneously, our main export is just streams, videos, holograms, and photos of us. Aliens lose their composure completely over videos of us sneezing or yawning or eating pop tarts or playing video games or taking care of our kids.
There are lines of aliens who would LOVE to have a human in their home or on their ship. It’s a little condescending (we’re not sure if we’re guests or well treated exotic pets) but still a good opportunity, and any human who wants can go to space at any time basically for free or even for profit, and the aliens will go out of their way to give you anything you ask for.
There are obvious downsides. We struggle to be taken seriously. While it’s usually shut down pretty quickly, every once in a while some alien group sees the demand for us and tries to start an illegal trade. But at the same time, it’s neat that somewhere out there is an alien (or usually a LOT of aliens) that would love you unconditionally, find every flaw and idiosyncrasy endearing, be worried about you and do anything they could to make you safe and happy. They work hard to make our planet and our personal lives better and don’t ask for anything in return. They just do it because they decided we are important and worth saving just for existing. It’s an odd relationship, and we’re not always sure what to make of it, but honestly it goes a lot better than we worried alien contact would.
I’m down to be a spoiled pampered alien pet.
(via sroloc--elbisivni)
humans getting a reputation amongst the galaxy for doing totally absurd and reckless things, like making absolutely ridiculous flight paths through asteroid belts, or hitting warp speed for a five mile trip, or devoting 90% of the power of a ship’s onboard computer to their personal laptop so they can torrent abba’s discography, or mixing rocket fuel with mentos to see what happens
and at first other species are like….. okay we’d better not have humans on the crew if they’re this dangerous….. but then when they notice the humans are actually getting a lot more done and advancing super fast because they take such absurd risks “just to see if it works” it becomes commonplace to have a group of at least four humans on every ship in the fleet
no other species previously had a word in their language that equated to “fuck it” but within a century “fuck it” is regarded as an immensely wise proverb
Scenario One
“Now we must be careful as there is still the question of how territorial the wildlife in this area is-“ The jalaxian fleet commander says, standing in front of their crew, ready to lead a slow and calculated expedition through an unexplored forest on an uncharted world.
“SPACE PUPPIES!” The human medic exclaims, barging past, picking up a small tentacled beast. It appears to be friendly, welcoming the contact.
“… Well, I suppose that answers that.”
Scenario Two
Zampushian: “Captain! The space pirates are hot on our tail and with their firepower we could never hope to outrun them! I can send a beacon to the fleet-”
Human: “Nah. It’s cool. Just put all the power to the shields.”
Zampushian: “But Captain-”
Human: “Trust me, dude!”
[The Zampushian transfers all available power to the shield modules. The ship, unable to move now, slows to a halt. The space pirate ship barrels forwards and crashes into the ship, exploding on impact, with no damage to the fleet ship.]
Human: “See? Everything’s chill. Do we have any chips left?”
Scenario Three
An Ungrampish crew member working aboard a multi-species fleet ship goes into the ship’s cargo bay to move some equipment. Tye (that’s the pronoun they use on Ungramp) is greeted by the sight of a human eating an entire Ungrampish chilli pepper, the hottest in the known universe, just to see what happens.
(via sroloc--elbisivni)
fun facts!
- leonardo da vinci was a year younger than christopher columbus.
- stalin, freud, Ttto, trotsky and hitler walk into a bar……no really, it’s possible since they all lived in vienna in 1913.
- aristotle tutored alexander the great.
- abraham lincoln was twelve when napoleon bonaparte died.
- an unusually well-traveled person in 5th century BC could have conceivably met confucius, lao tze, the buddha and socrates over the course of a seventy year life.
- pharaohs and mammoths existed at the same time.
- pocahontas and william shakespeare died, in the same country, less than a year apart from each other.
- oxford university is older than the aztec empire.
(via clockwork-mockingbird)
(Source: themalfoymistress, via patroclvss)
holy shit
JESUS
omg
wh
it’s back
wat
I have yet to witness something as fucked up as this
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ
wow
Holy shit
This is an ace attorney trial
fuckin full circle, man
(Source: sighdumbb, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)