[video]
@words-writ-in-starlightReading the iliad is so crazy because like alexander the great was reading this story over 2000 years ago?? he probably wrote fanfiction about achilles and patroclus and told hephaestion his headcanons?? life is absurd
HE DID THO. HE ACTUALLY DID.
ALEXANDER THE GREAT WAS HELLA GAY AND WROTE GAY FANFICTION OF THE GAYEST PEOPLE IN ANCIENT GREECE.
I’m not even kidding. Achilles and Patriclus were hella gay Ancient Greek warriors; like the Illiad (the number one source for all things Greek) has half the book dedicated to their relationship.
Alexander the Great wrote 57 papers about them. HE WROTE 57 ESSAYS ON THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND WHAT HE THOUGHT THEY WOULD DO IF THEY LIVED IN HIS TIME PERIOD.
ALEXANDER THE GREAT WROTE MODERN AU GAY FANFICTION
And it gets EVEN GAYER
He constantly refers to himself and his “guy pal” Hephaestion as having the same relationship as Achilles and Patroclus
He literally talks about how he and his best friend were like WELL
KNOWN ANCIENT LOVERS.Don’t think it can get gayer?
THINK AGAINAlexander and Hephaestion visit the graves of Achilles and Patroclus and laid down flowers in honor for them, stripped naked, and ran a race in their honor. After words they SENT THEIR SERVANT AWAY TO SPEND THE NIGHT ALONE AT THE MEMORIAL.
This isn’t a myth, this is actual documented history. It’s all true. I don’t have sources because I learned about this a few years ago in my history class in college but google it I promise you.
Wow, 57 essays. Alexander must have had a lot of free time on his hands.
The reason you don’t have sources is that this didn’t happen.
I TOOK 15 MINUTES
Cartledge, Paul. Alexander the Great: The Hunt for a New Past. Woodstock, NY; New York: The Overlook Press, 2004
Wilcken, Ulrich, Alexander the Great, W. W. Norton & Company; Reissue edition (March 1997)
~follow for more soft historical homosexuality~
Alexander the Great lived in a time when travel was slow and he got to travel in a carriage, meaning he didn’t have to worry about controlling a horse. He had plenty of free time to read and write, there was little else to do on long carriage rides.
All right, so, those of you who’ve been around long enough may or may not recall that my practice when I hit a round number of followers is to post some original writing (see: Methods of Inheritance and Sabbatical). And I’m coming up on 400, so I’ll be doing that again! But! I have…a lot of original fiction. A lot of original fiction. So I’m going to offer a list of options, and you lot can tell me which one you’d like to see! To vote, you can reply to this post or reblog it, or send me a message, although I’d prefer the ask box over a private message just because it’ll be easier to collate the answers that way. For the novels, obviously, you’d be getting an excerpt, probably 2-5 pages. Any short stories, though, you’d get all of.
Polaris: the revolutionary girlfriends with superpowers novel (as yet incomplete). Like. There’s more detail, obviously. But that’s pretty much what we’re dealing with there. There are a bunch of LGBT characters and a few superpowers and a revolution, thus: revolutionary girlfriends with superpowers novel. Tag is here if you want more detail.
Falls the Shadow: my best beloved novel about the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, led by Sam, the Horseman of Death and Antichrist. This one’s complete, but it is H E F T Y at 250K words. I’m editing it down. Tag is here, but no one asks me about it, so there’s not much there. First of a trilogy.
Battalion: the novel where angels happened and fucked everything up, and humans have been fucking them over in response for about 70 years (incomplete). Yep. That’s here, and there is exactly one post.
Stories From the Second War: a triad of short stories technically set in the FtS universe, about Heaven’s war against the Nephilim. Um…they’re dark. The Nephilim are monstrous. But I think they might be some of my favorite writing I’ve done. They are Tell All the Truth (But Tell It Slant) and To Fight Aloud, Is Very Brave (Uniforms of Snow), both from the perspective of the leader of the Nephilim, and The Stillness in the Air (Between Heaves of Storm), from the perspective of her hunting partner. I’d put all three on here as a set, because I think they work best that way.
Deorum (Of Gods): a short story I wrote for that writing class I hated. Jack, the main character, lives in a city populated partly by mortals and partly by the gods of the world’s pantheons–Idunn owns a coffee shop, Apollo teaches art at an elementary school, Ninkasi runs a bar, and dark things live in the woods. Jack attracts more gods than he’s strictly comfortable with, and they all seem to know him remarkably well…. I don’t know if it’s my best work in terms of quality, but I definitely think it’s up there as the most fun. This is about forty pages, so I’d have to post it piecemeal.
So…yeah. Anyone have a preference?
In response to all those articles about talking to women with headphones…
Someone always says it, whenever it comes up:
“I guess I’m just not allowed to talk to anyone any more!”
Well.
Yes.
It is my duty to inform you that we took a vote
all us women
and determined that you are not allowed to talk to anyone
ever again.
This vote is legally binding.
Yes, of course, all women know each other,
the way you always suspected.
(Incidentally, so do Canadians. I’m just throwing that out there.)
We went into the women’s room at the Applebee’s at the corner of 54
and all the others streamed in through the doors
into that endless liminal space,
a chain of humans stretching backward
heavy skulled Neanderthal women laughing with New York socialites,
Lucille Ball hand in hand with the Taung child.
We sat around in the couches in the women’s room
(I know you’ve always been suspicious of those couches)
and chatted with each other in the secret female language
that you always knew existed.
Somebody set up a Playstation–
the Empress Wu is ruthless at Mario Kart
and Cleopatra never learned to lose
and a woman who ruled an empire that fell
when the Sea People came
and left no trace
can use the blue shell like a surgical instrument.
Eventually we took the vote.
You had three defenders:
your grandmother and your first-grade teacher
and an Albanian nun who believes the best of everybody.
Your mom abstained.
It was duly recorded in the secret notebooks
that have been kept under the couch in the Applebee’s
since the beginning of recorded time.
And then we went back to playing Mario Kart
and Hoelun took off her bra
and we didn’t think about you again
except that I had to carry this message.
So anyway
good luck with that
it’s just as you always said it was.
Hush now,
no talkinghush.
(via windbladess)
All right, so, those of you who’ve been around long enough may or may not recall that my practice when I hit a round number of followers is to post some original writing (see: Methods of Inheritance and Sabbatical). And I’m coming up on 400, so I’ll be doing that again! But! I have…a lot of original fiction. A lot of original fiction. So I’m going to offer a list of options, and you lot can tell me which one you’d like to see! To vote, you can reply to this post or reblog it, or send me a message, although I’d prefer the ask box over a private message just because it’ll be easier to collate the answers that way. For the novels, obviously, you’d be getting an excerpt, probably 2-5 pages. Any short stories, though, you’d get all of.
Polaris: the revolutionary girlfriends with superpowers novel (as yet incomplete). Like. There’s more detail, obviously. But that’s pretty much what we’re dealing with there. There are a bunch of LGBT characters and a few superpowers and a revolution, thus: revolutionary girlfriends with superpowers novel. Tag is here if you want more detail.
Falls the Shadow: my best beloved novel about the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, led by Sam, the Horseman of Death and Antichrist. This one’s complete, but it is H E F T Y at 250K words. I’m editing it down. Tag is here, but no one asks me about it, so there’s not much there. First of a trilogy.
Battalion: the novel where angels happened and fucked everything up, and humans have been fucking them over in response for about 70 years (incomplete). Yep. That’s here, and there is exactly one post.
Stories From the Second War: a triad of short stories technically set in the FtS universe, about Heaven’s war against the Nephilim. Um…they’re dark. The Nephilim are monstrous. But I think they might be some of my favorite writing I’ve done. They are Tell All the Truth (But Tell It Slant) and To Fight Aloud, Is Very Brave (Uniforms of Snow), both from the perspective of the leader of the Nephilim, and The Stillness in the Air (Between Heaves of Storm), from the perspective of her hunting partner. I’d put all three on here as a set, because I think they work best that way.
Deorum (Of Gods): a short story I wrote for that writing class I hated. Jack, the main character, lives in a city populated partly by mortals and partly by the gods of the world’s pantheons–Idunn owns a coffee shop, Apollo teaches art at an elementary school, Ninkasi runs a bar, and dark things live in the woods. Jack attracts more gods than he’s strictly comfortable with, and they all seem to know him remarkably well…. I don’t know if it’s my best work in terms of quality, but I definitely think it’s up there as the most fun. This is about forty pages, so I’d have to post it piecemeal.
So…yeah. Anyone have a preference?
Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.
(via Feminism)
bisexual opera singer who killed ten men and snuck into a convent to shag a nun.
Just so y'all know, she later set that convent on fire so she and that nun could sneak out. And she seduced one of the men she’d dueled.
Mademoiselle de Maupin (Julie d’Aubigny) has always been one of my role models. I’m so glad this post exists so more people can learn about her. The more you know, the more there’s to love. Let’s see:
- Around 1678 (she was like fourteen or fifteen), she was making a living in Marseilles by doing fencing exhibitions, dressed in male clothes, with her boyfriend who was on the run because he killed a guy in an illegal duel in Paris.
- Then she joined an opera company and fell in love with a young woman, but the woman’s parents decided to put her in a convent to, you know, protect her honor and all that…
- …so yeah, that’s when the whole “sneaking into a convent to help a nun sneak out and also putting the room on fire” thing happened.
- She wounded a guy through the shoulder with a sword in a duel because he had made fun of her clothes. They became friends after she came back a few days later to ask if he was okay.
- She beat a singer who was quite famous at the time because he was being a jerk to some women from her new opera troupe in Paris.
- She kissed a young woman in front of everyone at a society ball, and that angered three noblemen who were there, so she beat them all in duel and fled to Brussels. Then she resumed her opera career there.
- Then she returned to the Paris opera and had yet more problems with the law because she beat up her landlord.
- She retired to a convent after the death of her love Madame la Marquise de Florensac, and died at only 33 years old.
- The legend says that she never got arrested for all her deeds because king Louis XIV thought she was way too entertaining to deserve death. I have no idea if that’s true. But she did sing in Versailles for the Court, so there’s that.
She’s back on my dash!
The woman who is, no word of a lie, MY PERSONAL HERO :D
How badass can you be to basically get a lifetime pardon from the king?!
Julie D’aubigny: It’s okay I have a note from the king
“Julie can do what she wants - King Louis XIV”
(via faiththegoodslayer)
[video]
some of the people on my dash i just assume are their icons bc i’ve never seen their pics so it’s like “oh look gandalf is up late bloggin again"
(Source: asphyyyy, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
i met someone today and when i asked him if he was a dog person or a cat person he said he was a fish person. a fish person. he’s not even allergic to dogs or cats, he’s had no traumatizing experiences, he just doesn’t like dogs OR cats. he likes fish. what the fuck. what the actual fuck. who is this aquaman wanna-be hating on dogs AND cats what the fuck. who the fuck hates both of them? what, he’s gonna come home and be greeted by the excited gurgling of a fucking goldfish? that fish don’t love you man. that fish doesn’t even recognize you as a person. you’re just a food dispenser. he’s gonna die someday and that fish won’t mourn him. that fish won’t even know he’s gone. hating on dogs and cats. wehat the fuck. i’m never associating with that boy again. fish person. what the fukc.
i realized i posted this to the wrong blog but i’m still too pissed off to care. fucking fish person.
Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..
Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend
Bro: touche…
____________________________________________________________
Bro: so you like girls?
Me: yep
Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?
Me: maybe
Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO??
____________________________________________________________
Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?
Me: sure… $10?
Bro: okay
Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three
Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….
____________________________________________________________
Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU
____________________________________________________________
Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?
Bro: yeah?
Friend: what’s that?
Bro: basically she’ll date anyone
Friend: think she’ll date me?
Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..
____________________________________________________________
Bro: so…how was narnia?
____________________________________________________________
Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too
Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?
Me: ew no
Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS
____________________________________________________________
Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type
Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type
Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce
____________________________________________________________
Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?
Me: hopefully
Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??
Me: no?
Bro: dammit…
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur
Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you
Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!
____________________________________________________________
Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?
Me: what?
Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food
____________________________________________________________
Bro: aw fuck
Me: what?
Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl!
Me: no thats okay-
Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???
This is so sweet actually
I love this
(via im-lost-but-not-gone)