I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
(via starwarsisgay)
- grumpy jerk and actual ray of sunshine are BFFs
- mutual unrequited pining
- character A falls fast and hard for character B
- character A slowly falls in love with character B over the course of several years, realization hits them that they’ve been in love with B for a long time hits them like a truck
- cool badass is actually a giant fucking nerd
- The Power of Friendship ™
- flat “what” reactions
- sweet adorable characters with horrible tragic pasts
- villains-turned-heroes becoming the Weird Uncle
- characters that aren’t actually related having a parent-child relationship
- characters that aren’t actually siblings having a sibling-like bond
- “I can’t stand this person but I would die for them”
(via primarybufferpanel)
“And God said “Love Your Enemy,”
And I obeyed him and loved myself.”
— Khalil Gibran
(via enigmatic-being)
(via millennialgospel)
The minimum age for signing up for a Tumblr account is 13. I, at the time of writing this, am 23.
It would be bizarre of me to treat a 13 year old as though they are the same age as me. I have a 13 year old little brother and while we have a similar sense of humour as we have grown up together we could not be more different.
I have an extra decade. A decade of more experience, a decade of more learning, a decade of more everything in general. I am an adult. He is a child. There’s no denying that.
The mentality that has always existed on Tumblr of “everybody’s the same age hahaha everybody can be treated the same” is, therefore, the biggest load of fucking rubbish I’ve ever seen. This inevitably leads to children being harassed by grown adults every day. Constantly.
Imagine being a 14 year old child and waking up one morning to find that a grown adult had reblogged one of your posts making fun of you, leading dozens of other grown adults to send you messages making fun of you further.
Imagine being a child just trying to have fun on a social blogging platform and then self-entitled, wilfully ignorant and aggressive adults suddenly began insulting you for absolutely no reason.
I’m not saying a child can’t make a mistake. But that’s what it is most of the time- a mistake- and maybe you should stop treating children who make mistakes as though they’re intentionally malicious adults. In doing so, you generally become an intentionally malicious adult.
If you’re an adult and you look at somebody’s About section and see “oh 14 okay that’s not too young for me to tell this person they’re trash” and you don’t see how that’s inherently fucked up and see no need to apologise for it: I hate you, I thoroughly and completely hate you regardless of the quality of the rest of your character, I think you need to get a grip, a life and away from me
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them
teenagers: we are going to punch you
me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmiedteenagers: we are going to kick you
me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money
me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….teenagers: we are going to call you mean names
me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it !
me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you
me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Gardenteenagers: we are about to physically assault you
me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronautteenagers: we are going to commit felonies
me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle
me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochetteenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism!
me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfieldif theres a day i dont reblog this assume i died
(via wildehacked)
skymurdock asked: for the three-sentence AU meme, not that I personally consider this an AU: Steve Rogers being IN SPACE and not knowing wtf is going on down on earth, go.
All right, did you mean ‘Star Trek mashup,’ because I refuse to dignify Dick Spencer with even the slightest iota of my attention and I LOVE STAR TREK. Um, there’s definitely gonna be more than three sentences, I tried but I got overexcited, sorry. THERE’S A READMORE, THAT’S HOW OUT OF HAND THIS GOT.
- Starbase 616 is approximately five days at max warp past the generally accepted middle-of-nowhere, the kind of place they send you when you’ve slept with a higher-up’s spouse (or spouses, Security Officer Kellan will say mournfully, not that he knew it at the time) or after you’ve blown up a very expensive piece of equipment (Chief of Engineering Maxime Rochert is only allowed near the engines with supervision, is the running joke). So when the ship drifts in, Starbase 616 has a hot second of panic, because they have never gotten a ship since the last troop of poor suckers was released from this purgatory. It’s even worse because the USS Avenge left its last leg about a parsec back and seems to have crawled in on some kind of souped-up impulse engine none of them have seen before. It’s even worse because, once they get on board to check why they’re not receiving a response to their thirty-one hails, they find:
- an AI that apparently fried itself and shut down all non-life support or non-propulsion systems,
- a piloting and navigation console that looks like it’s been ripped apart and hotwired together,
- and almost a dozen (sort of living) legends in deep cryostasis in the medical bay, with no other signs of life.
DAY TWO REBLOG.
“Miraculous! Adrinette where Marinette is an upperclassman. Her main interaction with Adrien is at her parent’s shop, where he always grabs something during lunch break. She’s still a hot mess around him, and he’s still a complete flirt with Ladybug. Go.” For @littlestartopaz , on the AU meme.
C’mon now, we’ve all basically agreed that I’ve co-opted this meme as an excuse to get AU prompts and write a lot on every single one of them. So Marinette is seventeen here and Adrien is still a lonely fifteen-year-old kid who gets devoted to anyone who seems like they care about his feelings. There’s no regard whatsoever for the canon timeline here, we’re pretending that they’re already working together by the time he starts public school.
- The first time Adrien Agreste walks into her parents’ bakery, Marinette hides behind the counter and hyperventilates for a solid minute while he looks around. She stutters her way through taking his order, and he gives her a small smile that genuinely makes her heart stop a little. (She’s going to feel bad about that later, once she knows how much it bothers him when people get fluttery over him, but look, just look, he’s a very handsome boy and she’s awkward, this is a matter of record, Alya has the proof.)
- And then he actually sits at the counter and picks through his sandwich and talks to her, and he’s nice and funny and wry, with a sweet self-deprecating smile. Marinette can barely string a sentence together, but he doesn’t make fun of her or question her and he seems fine with pretending that she has no idea who he is. She might die, she might have a heart attack, but what a way to go, that’s all she’s saying, under those bright green eyes.
*monster truck rally voice*
Second daaaaaaaaaay reeeeeeeeblog!
Miscellaneous Batman headcanons as relate to my little fic universe, that may or may not ever come up because who knows:
- In general when it comes to Billionaire Playboy Bruce Wayne people go in one of two directions. Either he is the mysterious eccentric always galavanting around and seeing him at a party is like a Bigfoot sighting, or he is obnoxious and spoiled but people let him get away with it because he has money. But then it’s always a plot point that he is surrounded by vapid gold diggers?? I call bullshit, maybe Bruce Wayne is actually a really nice guy and he’s charming and charismatic and people think he is kind of naive, and maybe his smiles don’t always reach his eyes but maybe he just seems kind of lonely and people appreciate that he makes the effort. Maybe the women of Gotham are not all money-grubbing and shallow and actually recognize a good guy when they see one.
- That actually will definitely come up but it’s still on the list because it relates to the next bullet point.
- Models! In general models start working at 16 and are done when they’re 23. Modeling is an industry full of very young girls getting chewed up and spit out and sorry but you will never convince me that Batman would take advantage of that even under the guise of Billionaire Bruce Wayne. If you are a model and you meet Bruce Wayne he will be nice and he will be respectful and honestly he will act like a protective older brother and it’s just??? Such a change of pace???? He’s so nice????? And if they aren’t happy with their agency maybe he will direct them to some Wayne Enterprises subsidiary, and maybe when some photographer is being a skeeve they let him know and he never works in that town again, and maybe if they end up needing to go to rehab he pays for it because he can afford it and actually he owns the rehab center and also he is the sweetest man alive. So maybe when they need a plus one to a fashion event, they invite Bruce Wayne because they know he won’t take advantage, and maybe Bruce has a list of women and their interests so if he needs a plus one and he knows Anita loves the ballet he will call her up and they will go and they will mostly talk about her new cat because his name is Chairman Meow and she loves him the most. And when people ask later if she totally banged Bruce Wayne she says yes, it was awesome, his dick was huge, because idk man sometimes when a guy is nice you just tell people that as a courtesy. Then at parties Bruce Wayne is just surrounded by models and everyone shakes their heads and tsks about it while they ask him how he’s been and show him pictures of their cats.
- Which is not to suggest that maybe when they are older and in a more stable place in their lives they do not actually bang Bruce Wayne because they probably do. Who wouldn’t???
- One day some little girl is worried that Batman might skip her neighborhood and she decides the best way to make sure he shows is to leave some cookies on the roof of her building because if it’s good enough for Santa then why not Batman? But she’s like six so of course they are basically inedible and they’re supposed to look like bats but they kind of just look like poorly drawn distant seagulls and she leaves them out with a note like “For Batman only do not touch!!” and in the morning they are gone and she is satisfied that Batman has been patrolling to keep her safe. And eventually all the kids are doing this in Gotham and it’s just a whole buffet of confusingly-shaped poorly-made attempts at cookies (you have to make them yourself the children decide because when you are a kid it is important to have Rituals). Eventually Batman can tell which neighborhoods are having the most trouble based on density of cookies per block. He doesn’t actually eat them because he does not want to get food poisoning and at least once he’s pretty sure those were made of Play-Doh but he takes them anyway because he knows it helps kids feel safe.
- A criminal tries to leave out poison cookies once but not only does he not eat them, it is immediately obvious what’s going on because these actually look like food.
- If the cookies are still there in the morning the children all have a crisis because something is wrong with Batman and the religious kids pray and the nonreligious kids do weird superstitious shit that they have convinced themselves is helpful.
- Kids love Batman okay especially little girls, as a little girl who loved Batman I can confirm.
- Some of them probably leave out drawings and he keeps them in the Batcave sorry these are just Facts.
- Bruce Wayne’s doctor is paid a fortune to make housecalls and she is well aware by now that he is Batman, but she lets him claim he was bungee jumping or whatever the fuck it is he thinks is plausible because she knew his father and she remembers when he was a cute kid and honestly who even cares.
- Bruce Wayne’s dentist has also figured out that he is Batman because jesus fucking christ we just replaced those crowns what are you even DOING to your TEETH half of these are just implants now you are going to need dentures by forty please god just wear a fucking mouthguard draw some scary fangs on it if you have to like he appreciates how much money he is making replacing this man’s teeth but even he has limits
- Bruce Wayne’s personal accountant has also figured him out because his money just falls into a goddamn non-deductible pit and he kept trying to lie about it and then changing the lie around when he realized the answer he was giving impacted his return and I’m sorry Bruce I might not be rich but even I know that you probably did not spend several million dollars this year on cheesecakes covered in gold leaf and you accidentally filed a project cost analysis for a stealth jet in with your receipts but lucky for you I am NICE and I shredded it for you and also those projections were poorly done so hit me up if you want someone who actually knows how regression works buddy
- Catwoman never tries to rob Bruce Wayne because cats know that he is a cool guy. Actually it’s Batman that is always nice to cats but they smell the same so the cats don’t know the difference. They’re just like naw girl, that territory belongs to a friend of cats, don’t trespass unless it is for scritches because that guy gives some good scritches.
- Robin eats one of the batcookies once and regrets it for the rest of the night. Don’t eat cookies left outside by small children. Just don’t.
- Bruce Wayne got a JD/MBA and graduated at the top of his class, I know people like the idea of dropout Bruce Wayne backpacking around and learning to punch people but he also does not want to tank his father’s company or let criminals escape justice through Bat-shaped loopholes?? He probably went to Yale and took max credits every semester and spent all his time studying and working out and then went off in summers to learn new and exciting ways to punch a dude. He had no social life he slept like six hours max every night and he ruined the curve for everyone, what a dick.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
I want to be politically informed and educated but I also wanna have a good day and be in a good mood. Do you see my problem?
(via n-haught)