I wonder how many awkward things people have said to me I’ve completely forgotten about but still makes someone cringe randomly when they are trying to sleep.
“but being abused made you so kind!” being abused made me terrified of being anything less than perfectly accommodating and pleasing in an effort to protect myself from the violence my abuser reacted with but okay whatever
Also see “You’re so mean now. I liked you better before.”
You liked me when I was completely accommodating out of residual fear and now I have basic boundaries and a shred of self confidence it inconveniences you.
“And Hamilton was not always scholarly, especially not when writing for Fenno’s Gazette about the devil, who he believed had been incarnated as Thomas Jefferson.”
— Eric Burns, Infamous Scribblers (via aaronsburrr)
i find ‘wait for it’ hilarious because apparently Burr’s entire philosophy in life is “I can be master of my own self, but some things are beyond my control. life and death. love, my past, forces of nature. and Hamilton, I also cannot control Hamilton.”
people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like
its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit
peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs.
a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you
listen
listen
have you ever met a swan
if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are
Also, I personally am quite fond of the mental image of a Majestic As Fuck pack of feathered raptors that are also capable of brutal evisceration.
I mean, what part of that doesn’t sound deeply, viscerally alarming?
As a kid, my family kept geese as guard animals. And these geese were the most effective GUARD ANIMALS because they would rush at anyone while simultaneously beating their 3 foot wings and biting. Once they broke a man’s femur who was trespassing. A grown ass man’s LEG.
Yeah, if I knew that a 6 foot tall goose lived in the world, I might never go outside.
I love using “my guy” and “my dude” and “kiddos” and “friend” for everything because there’s so much affection yet an unbelievable amount of sarcasm and that pretty much describes my personality
