aethersea asked: you know what also pissed me off about supernatural, though? the inability to commit to their own worldbuilding. even while clinging to a static paradigm, where The Masquerade is in full effect, they couldn't be consistent about what sort of underground magic communities do and don't exist. I know this can be blamed on multiple writers and all, but it drives me up the wall. f.ex. witches are All Evil and tend to work alone, until that episode with the familiars when you find a bunch of nice(r)
witches who go to witch bars and hardly ever poison each other’s drinks, oh and also familiars are a thing. a while later spike and cordelia are witches who’ve had a tempestuous relationship for… centuries I think, aka witches can live for a really long time, so there’s no way the bigger/older ones don’t all know each other. there ought to be SOME sort of witch ‘society’, even if it’s just loose communication. but no, after this you never hear of witches ever again, much less familiars or witch
bars. then you’ve got Bela, who caters to rich people who know magical artifacts exist, but there’s no exploration of what that could MEAN – if Bela can hold down a job, then enough of the country’s elite own and exploit magic stuff that it could – SHOULD – have at least some effect on US politics, as in who gets power. there’s never a whisper of that, but okay, this isn’t exactly the winchester boys’ social scene. but failing that, some of these magic-obsessed rich people should turn up for a
few episodes, either haunted or else guilty of inflicting a monster-of-the-week on someone. heck, one of them could be a recurring vaguely-helpful character that the boys stop by and menace a bit whenever they need access to some excessively obscure artifact. you already mentioned the mess of all those Alpha Monsters who were powerful and unkillable and stuff, and had their own dread agendas with potentially far-reaching consequences for their respective species, and then just… vanished. I don’t
even remember how. and then there’s the hunter community, which is the most inconsistent of all. first it’s just these two and their dad, and then they start finding out their dad’s old friends were all actually hunters or oracles or whatever. so far so good; these are just Mysteries Of Our Father’s Past, and valid character/plot development stuff. but there’s Bobby, who Knows Everyone, and Ellen, whose bar every hunter in the country frequents sooner or later, and this means hunters know each
other, know about each other, they have a network of communication and they share intel, gossip, trade secrets. but the moment the bar blows up there’s just no network, no connection, nothing at all binding hunters together, even though Bobby still knows everyone and Ellen and Jo are still around and plenty able to found a new bar if they wanted to, or at least keep in touch with at least half of the people who used to swing by their bar. oh and also the demons! they talk about complex politics
happening in Hell, they have some sort of prophesied demon queen who takes the body of a young girl and has glowing white eyes (I don’t even remember what happened to her), they have demon religion and spirituality to the point where Lucifer is basically Demon Jesus – I’m pretty sure this is explicitly stated, Lucifer is to the demons what Jesus is to really devout Christians, semi-mythical status and prophesied second coming and everything – and the show makes an effort to flesh out its demonic
characters, give them personality and desires and drives, and it shows distinct differences in how different demons feel about humanity, and about what they do, and all that. yet despite all this, the only demon we meet who doesn’t immediately try to murder the boys is Ruby. no one tries to bargain honestly with the boys, no one but Crowley tries to aim the boys at their own enemies, no one begs for mercy or lies about repentance. nothing. can you imagine if those demons who told Sam to take up
his antichrist mantle and lead a demon army decided that, since their Chosen One was unwilling, they ought to convince him? what if a bunch of demons had started discreetly tailing the boys, showing up sometimes to rescue them from really bad fights or offer up dead monsters like housecats offering dead birds? ‘hey chosen one, we caught you this demon who’s high up in Crowley’s hierarchy, do you want to torture him for information yourself or do you want us to do it?’ they solemnly swear that
that they’ve stopped killing humans, they keep quietly growing in number, and they always scram before the boys are conscious enough to kill them properly. sam and dean have many arguments about whether they were REALLY too concussed to stab their latest demonic rescuer and get absurdly angsty and argumentative about it. I know my rant has gotten pretty thoroughly disorganized and this is moving back into must-have-a-static-paradigm territory, but I am a little bitter.
THIS IS ALSO SUCH A GOOD POINT there is just so much to be bitter about with this show, like, good god, you’d think that sooner or later they’d run out of basic narrative rules to fuck up.
Speaking of rules, I think this is a manifestation of one of Supernatural’s wider problems, which is that they just DO NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES OF THEIR OWN UNIVERSE. Like, all they’ve REALLY nailed down is that demons can be exorcised, but anything that isn’t a demon is pretty much at the mercy of the plot for A) how powerful it is, B) how hard to kill it is, and C) how ‘human’ it’s considered. Like, everything from werewolves to wendigos are stated to be at least PART human, but basically their ‘humanness’ and subsequently the amount of sympathy accorded to them is predicated on how benign (or how attractive) they look in their human form. The magic of this universe is wildly unpredictable–the Winchesters sometimes do/dabble in magic themselves, but we never really learn how magic works. Does it require a focus? Does it require badly-pronounced Latin? Is it an expression of the user’s willpower? Is it similar to what demons do (implied when All Witches Are Wicked for the first few seasons) or not? Does it require natural talent or can anyone learn it? THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT ARE TOTALLY IGNORED. THEN there’s the question of societies in this supernatural underworld. Like, I think I’ve expressed in my John Wick comments how much I like functional underworld societies with rules and systems, but honestly it’s CRITICALLY necessary if you’re doing what SPN does and having the society Matter. I cringe every time I think about how clumsy and slapdash the hunting community was in Supernatural, because it had SO MUCH POTENTIAL, don’t talk to me about it, I made it work better when I wrote my spite novel. I’m sure I can think of fifty million more incomplete universe rules, but I can honestly feel my blood pressure rising right now so I’m going to stop.
OH MY GOD GUYS, please, if you’re a writer, let me beg you right now in person to figure out the rules of your universe and then commit. Here are some pointers.
Magic should work in a conceptually similar way to gravity: its rules should be consistent and should be able to be broadly extrapolated from the general effect, and if you’re going to BREAK those rules you’ve got to have a damn fine reason.
The sliding scale of ‘humannness’ should…slide less, to be completely honest, work your shit the fuck out EARLY or make working your shit the fuck out a plot point (please see Stormdancer for a good example).
If you’re dealing with questions of what makes someone human (@SPN FOR LIKE FOUR FUCKING SEASONS) then you should actively question like “Hey, my dude, can we morally kill this person for something they have no control over” unless your character took the trait ‘Callous’ somewhere in their history (which is also fine).
If you have an underworld society–or any society tbh???–WORK YOUR SHIT OUT. How do they work together (ex: hunters pretending to be ‘the boss’ when someone calls the number on that fake business card)? How do they support each other (ex: safehouses? maybe? this is never discussed in SPN? and I hate it?)? What are the things people differ on (ex: whether or not to murder the Winchesters, which, like, I know you’re supposed to be against that because they’re the protagonists, but by the time I bailed I def wanted someone to shoot them)? Is there an assumption of free exchange of favors or is there a strict financial/bargaining system? How much does one person vouching for another matter in the community? ANSWER SOME BASIC QUESTIONS FFS
Finally, most crucially, for the love of all that is good, Pick A Plot. One plot. It can have subplots (example: an overarching plot broken up by smaller missions, a la your average TV show) or multiple acts (as in a play, where you’ve got a couple major pieces that assemble into the main plot, like Much Ado where you’ve got (roughly) the matchmaking, the wedding, the vengeance, and the resolution), but it should be One Plot and you need to tie up those motherfucking loose ends.
This has been “Hey look turns out that 6K later I have Even More Complaints about Supernatural” with Moran.
I HAVE N O IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT BUT TALK TO ME ANYWAY
YOU’RE A CHAMP AND I’M TALKING ABOUT THIS IN CASE YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW.
But so Krei, everyone’s favorite Buff Tree Lesbian (IN AN AMAZING SHOW OF RESTRAINT, THAT IS NOT HER ACTUAL TAG), really genuinely likes making flower crowns. It’s the only really finessed plant magic she’s good at–Krei is much more the ‘hey you need someone to wreck that wall, I got you’ type of magic worker, but she makes A DAMN GOOD FLOWER CROWN. (Her mother, who had a talent for delicate work and was known for her trellises as much as her sword play, despaired of her.) And of course since she’s a plant worker it’s practically legally mandated that Krei know the meanings of various plants, but her girlfriend Shiko is a baby who only just recently showed up in Alleirat and knows Nothing. So Krei gets away with a lot of shenanigans based on plant messages before Shiko finally buys a book of plant meanings off someone and bullies Brenneth into translating it for her.
But I just really want you all to picture a tiny serious-faced Japanese girl standing at the head of a small army of reanimated corpses with a crown of daisies and aster on her head the whole time.
Anyway I’ve been attempting to Novel for almost five hours now and I’ve decided that clearly I am too aggravated to write an emotionally wringing trial and sentencing. All I really want to do is talk about Shiko wearing flower crowns made by her girlfriend and Brenneth and Crispin sitting on a roof and looking at stars while they mutually get drunk on the most expensive wine Crispin can get his hands on and the fact that Brenneth and Krei are actually legally family according to Alleirai law.
So if you also wanna talk about that, hit me up so that I can pretend I’m being productive.
Problems I currently have include:
My overwhelming and undeniable bitterness about this is not news, but what IS very annoying is that:
As such I have gotten Literally Nothing Done and I’m really aggravated about all of it.
Anonymous asked: anyway i love diana a lot, screech in an unholy manner if you too love diana a lot,
LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY FEELINGS ABOUT DIANA
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
sagequeen asked: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WHOLESOME "HUMANS ARE WEIRD" POSTS
I TRY THANK VERY MUCH
The “in case you missed it” fits perfectly
(via clockwork-mockingbird)
Anonymous asked: P for the fanfic meme!
Another ask for the fic meme!
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
H A definitely a gardener. I’ll sometimes sketch out the VERY general outline of a universe, but almost never outside my own head–like, I currently have all three acts of my Alleirat novel planned out and I’m starting Act Two, as it were, but nothing is written down. I don’t think I’ve ever actually done a story outline in my life and I doubt that’s going to change anytime soon.
Anonymous asked: The thing about SPN is that all of its characters have such good potential, y'know? Like the Sam's Boy King of Hell thing you mentioned. And the Antichrist. And all the other characters whose potential was wasted so the show could revert back to it's lazy formula. I'm just really bothered about this. Idk man it pisses me off.
ANOTHER THING ABOUT THE WASTED POTENTIAL. AMARA. THE DARKNESS. PRE-BIBLICAL. GOD"S SISTER. THE BE ALL END ALL OF VILLIANS. Her plotline was so crap????? Season 13 confirmed and that was the best they could give us? I truly believe if they had played their cards right they could have created an amazing story arc that would’ve kept people engaged and saved the show from itself.
I’m just so much enjoying that people actually agree with me. Because you’re right! The characters by and large have a lot of potential! The dynamics have the potential to be really interesting! AND YET.
Fuckin’ Supernatural, seriously.
memprime asked: What is wrong with mint and mint relatives? Thank you.
They’re lovely, but they MUST be kept in a pot, or a raised bed, or on a good-quality leash with a chest harness, because mint and its cousins spread like… IDEK, like a rash. Like dandelions. They’re tough, hardy and highly motivated. Even a tiny root fragment will suddenly turn into a Mint Tree if you don’t tear it up. I swear I’ve seen new plants popping up from BURIED SCRAPS OF LEAF. Once they’re in the ground they establish a beachhead and spawn secretly, possibly through osmosis. I cannot advise you to stick a mint plant in the ground unless you are a bold and unconventional disciplinarian.
The joke is that after running around after the mint like a spaniel chasing a whack-a-mole for a year, Dr Glass then planted a plant that would do the same thing.
Great plants, hard to kill, keep them in a pot (ESPECIALLY where invasive)
I would really recommend against planting mint in raised beds, and also, if in a pot, DO NOT PUT THE POT ON SOIL. The pot needs to be on rock or concrete. Otherwise the roots will head straight for freedom through the drainage holes, and you will Never Be Free.
of course, on the other hand, if you’re at all inclined to pettiness expressed via herbology, mint makes a GREAT vehicle for plant-based vengeance.
i have absolutely thrown mint roots into the perfectly manicured lawns of people i hate.
An ever growing mint plant appearing in my lawn would seem like the opposite of a problem to me?
They’re invasive, which means if they’re anywhere in your garden or manicured areas they could ruin the other plants, I think? But yeah I’d love to have a damn mint plant in my yard sounds ideal.
Has anyone ever thought of just having a lawn of mint instead of grass? Like how you have moss lawns?
… I am not judging!! but I don’t think the people in the notes who are like “oh a mint lawn would be lovely!” have met mint!
You know what would be a lovely herbal lawn? Chamomile. Because it’s a damn compact, densely-growing, hardy, winter-green perennial that’s springy underfoot, smells nice when you walk on it, and has some basic manners. Lawn chamomile is plushy and soft and produces tiny pretty daisy-looking flowers. It naturally stays at pretty much the height you would want grass to be, and then you can cut it and it goes “fair enough.”
Mint is not any of those things. Mint is leggy, patchy, muddy and rampageous. It grows randomly and fitfully. It bullies other plants. It sends runners into the neighbor’s houses and across the street and it barks at the postman. Your mint lawn would look like a poorly tended graveyard AND THEN IN THE WINTER IT WOULD DIE, DRAMATICALLY, and ROT
THERE. It would outcompete native plants and eat your vegetable garden alive. It is so wet and stalky that it would be dreadful to trim, and when you trimmed it, it would scab over and sulk. It would refuse to grow where it was put (the lawn) and would instead show up in places you don’t want it (the patio, the sidewalk, your intrusive thoughts.) IT IS AN INVASIVE PLANT, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FAMILYIt’s like asking why people don’t make lawns out of cabbages, or hyenas, or the cold virus. BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDN’T BE A LAWN OR A GARDEN
Win