…Is that the one with the guy with the sports logo on his head, and his friends keep fucking around an inter dimensional illuminati toilet bowl? and at least one of the guys keeps dying all the fucking time?
I’m dying. This is hilarious.
Other sci-fi series I know about from fragments:
Battlestar Galactica: somehow people cant tell toasters from other humans, and this is a problem becuase apparently we can’t enjoy our new robot friends? also half the federal government is dead? Y so grimdark?
Dr. Who: superpowered shapeshifter that could look like anything conveniently always looks like a white guy, and lives in a port-o-potty. Also something about a backwards-living wife? IDK she sounds cool but the one ep I saw was scary as hell and I’m not getting into it no matter how many dubiously attractive men you put in it.
Futurama: Simpsons minus jaundice and plus somehow more topical humor? Also theres an episiode where fucked-up teddy bears control all of spacetime?
Firefly: Actual D&D Party in space, plus the most ominous use of rubber gloves in any media.
Star Trek the one with the $2 budget that’s grossly over-acted but also Gives no Fucks to its censor board
Star Trek the one with Sir Patrick, Beardo McSexMachine and gay bored elder god?
Star trek the one with Oh god running a galactic civilization is hard feat snively gigantic-ear men who were funnier than anyone else.
Star trek CAPTAIN JANEWAY HERE TO PUT HER BOOT UP YOUR ASS AND HAVE YOU THANK HER FOR IT.
Star trek the one that’s a prequel with captain dad and hot lady vulcan and Doctor Lizard?
i feel like there’s another star trek. maybe new one with lesbians in space?
Stargate: Atlana: Dumbass dies MORE somehow
BY POPULAR REQUEST, SOME MORE:
X-FILES: Woman has to put up with colleague’s weird alien abduction fetish, whilst pregnant also something something Bees are a government conspiracy?
THE TWILIGHT ZONE: We Spent All Our Budget On Pants-Shittingly Good Writers, So Have An Alien that’s clearly A Dude With Pantyhose On His Head. You Won’t Care.
ORPHAN BLACK: ANGST CLONES
TWIN PEAKS: Weird shit goin’ on in them woods, also in the police station and the hotel and the lumber mill and- look, the PNW in general is Fucked, Okay?
FARSCAPE: Firefly, but with ACTUAL ALIENS and honestly that makes it 20354935747% better.
STRANGER THINGS: HEY YOU KNOW WHAT’D MAKE TWIN PEAKS EVEN CREEPIER? IF THE PROTAGONISTS WERE ACTUAL CHILDREN.
Dark Matter: Crew Takes Alignment penalty directly to the “common sense” part of the brain.
WESTWORLD: Disney finally goes Too Far.
SENSE 8; Bodyswapping and EVERYTHING IS GAY AND BEAUTIFUL fuk u netflix
One of the most bizarrely cool people I’ve ever met was an oral surgeon who treated me after a ridiculous accident (that’s another story), Dr. Z.
Dr. Z. was, easily, the best and most competent doctor or dentist I’ve ever encountered – and after that accident, I encountered quite a number. He came stunningly highly recommended, had an excellent record, and the most calming bedside manner I’ve ever seen.
That last wasn’t the sweet gentle caretaking sort of manner, which some nurses have but you wouldn’t expect to see in a surgeon. No; when Dr. Z. told me that one of my broken molars was too badly damaged to save, and I (being seventeen and still moderately in shock) broke down crying, he stared at me incredulously and said, in a tone of utter bemusement, “But – I am very good.”
I stopped crying on the spot. In the last twenty-four hours or so of one doctor after another, no one had said anything that reassuring to me. He clearly just knew his own competence so well that the idea of someone being scared anyway was literally incomprehensible to him. What more could I possibly ask for?
(He was right. The procedure was very extended, because the tooth that needed to be removed was in bits, but there was zero pain at any point. And, as he promised, my teeth were so close together that they shifted to fill the gap to where there genuinely is none anymore, it’s just a little easier to floss on that side.)
But Dr. Z.’s insane competence wasn’t just limited to oral surgery.
When I met Dr. Z., he, like most doctors I’ve had, asked me if I was in college, and where, and what I was studying. When I say “math,” most doctors respond with “oh, wow, good for you” or possibly “what do you want to do with that after college?”
Dr. Z. wanted to know what kind of math.
I gave him the thirty-second layman’s summary that I give people who are foolish enough to ask that. He responded with “oh, you mean–” and the correct technical terms. I confirmed that was indeed what I meant (and keep in mind, this was upper-division college math, you don’t take this unless you’re a math major). He asked cogent follow-up questions, and there ensued ten or so minutes of what I’d call “small talk” except for how it was an intensely technical mathematical discussion.
He didn’t, as far as I can tell, have any kind of formal math background. He just … knew stuff.
I was a competitive fencer at this point in time, so when he asked if I had any questions about the surgery that would be necessary, I asked him if I’d be okay to fence while I had my jaw wired shut, or if it would interfere with breathing.
“Fencing?” he said.
“Yes,” I said, “like swordfighting,” because this is another conversation I got to have a lot. (People assume they’ve misheard you, or occasionally they think you mean building fences.)
“Which weapon?”
“Uh. Foil.”
“No, it won’t be safe,” and he went off into an explanation of why.
Turns out, he was also a serious fencer – and, when I mentioned my fencing coach, an old friend of his. (I asked my fencing coach later, and, oh yes, Dr. Z., a good friend of mine, excellent fencer.) (My coach was French. Dr. Z. was Israeli. I never saw Dr. Z. around the club or anything. I have no idea how they knew each other.)
So this was weird enough that later, when I was home, I looked Dr. Z. up on Yelp. His reviews were stellar, of course, but that wasn’t the weird thing.
The weird thing was that the reviews were full of people – professionals in lots of different fields – saying the same thing: I went to Dr. Z. for oral surgery, and he asked me about what I did, and it turned out he knew all about my field and had a competent and educated discussion with me about the obscure technical details of such-and-such.
All sorts of different fields, saying this. Lawyers. Businessmen. Musicians.
As far as I can tell, it’s not that I just happened to be pursuing the two fields he had a serious amateur interest in – he just seemed to be extremely good at literally everything.
I have no explanation for this. Possibly he sold his soul to the devil.
He did a damn good job on my surgery.
This story inspires a little needed hope in the medical field. Thank you!
[The Raw Story headline: “A new website will ship your ashes to the GOP Rep. of your choice is Trumpcare kills you”]
This reminds me of that picture I saw of someone at an AIDS protest in the 80s that had a jacket that said, “When I die leave me on the capitol steps” or something like that
Also yes fuck those bastards make them have to face the human sacrifice they’re signing to line their fucking pockets.
ok but like imagine all of the power rangers parents constantly asking where they’re going after dinner and eventually they all reply “um i’m in a band now??” and their parents are like AAAYYYYYYY I WANNA SEE YOU GUYS PLAY so on top of training and saving the world they now have to actually pretend to be in a band and play at school talent shows or whatever to keep up the lie. eventually they end up doing so well they book small gigs around town and theyre pretty well known and the lie just got so out of hand that now theyre signed to a record label working on their debut album
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
Hell fucking yeah there are.
FANFIC
Honestly I love @determamfidd and @caffeinewitchcraft‘s writing styles more than words can say. Obligate hat-tip to @notbecauseofvictories, who is glorious. I’m sure there’s a laundry list of other people who I’m not remembering because I’ve been cleaning all day.
NON-FANFIC
Insert ode to Robin McKinley here. I love her writing literally more than words can address. I talk about her a lot.
Also PC Hodgell for armies and cities and people, lately Jay Kristoff who wrote Stormdancer, I should probably include KA Applegate who taught me how to torture my characters at a young age, and IDK Eric Flint who wrote 1632. I could definitely go on for A While with this list, but I’ll stop here.