Anonymous asked: Top 5 headcanons, preferably Stevebucky related but really any marvel ones actually :)
drop-deaddream-deactivated20160:
1. Steven Grant “Old Man” Rogers (“Well golly gee,” he bitches, deadpan)
2. Steve & Nat having to share warmth on some kind of cold weather mission (please take a moment to picture Tasha curled up and huddled in his huge man arms because they’re best friends I’m dying)
3. Actual New Yorker Steve Rogers. Occasional rage when driving an actual car. Yelling at cabs when they almost run him over and/or splash water in his direction. (“WHADDAYA DOIN, HUH? JESUS!”) Pastrami on rye. If the cheesecake isn’t six inches tall it isn’t a goddamn cheesecake. Balking at Chicago style pizza, which he actually may not have known about, considering it was first made when he was at war. Super nice to tourists. Super disgusted when Stark plans a weekend at the Shore. And finally, Food Trucks: The Autobiography Of an American Hero.
4. Steve actually acting his age, re: sitting somewhere bored with his chin propped on his hand and messing with filters on insta, one shameful post-gym selfie at a time. Sometimes he ends up slouched in a chair, texting, oblivious to everything else. On this note, Steve fitting in DISTURBINGLY WELL with the current population of like 60% of Brooklyn, that is to say, hipster humanities majors
5. Steve Rogers actually speaking the way an asshole kid raised in Brooklyn in the early/mid 20th century who then graduated to the Army would speak (stubbing his toe getting food in the middle of the night, like, “Jesus motherfucking Christ, fuck me, fuck”)
6. For that matter, Bucky talking that way (“What the fuck is this?” he demands, staring horrorstruck at the deep dish pizza in front of him. “What the shit is this, asshole?”)
There are going to be ten, I’m sorry
7. Natasha paints her toenails purple and her feet are always cold and every time she’s on the couch w/Clint she shoves her feet under his thighs
8. Steve listens to Turn Down For What literally a disturbing amount of times a day
9. Bucky missed Sinatra by one year and promptly falls head over heels for his voice in a totally no homo way and plays his music nonstop and hums it when he’s in the field
10. My absolute favorite headcanon, mostly because it’s 100% going to BE canon, is that everyone just thinks Steve and Bucky are incredibly fucking weird. And it’s not really because of the trauma or the fact that they’re collectively over 200 years old or any of that. It’s the fact that they’re fucking weird. Sometimes they just stare at each other. They literally just stare at each other, for like, hours. Sometimes Steve has to look away dramatically and blink back man tears. Are they telepathic? Is that it? Sam doesn’t have time for this. And they’re weirdly violent for each other. It’s creepy. Tony wonders what they get each other for holidays, and then decides to stop thinking about it. It’s probably the still-beating hearts of Hydra operatives.
[video]
Aragorn the reluctant and faintly embarrassed best man at Legolas and Gimli’s wedding.
Aragorn with his face in his hands as they get their serious mack on after the culturally-appropriate “you man now kiss the husband” bit, mumbling to himself in shell-shocked terror “the things I saw on the road…”
Gimli and Legolas participating in an epic cake-eating competition while Aragorn passes out back-up cake for the guests and explains: “I expected this.”
Aragorn having to give a best man speech for both Legolas and Gimli. Both sides of the family arguing loudly over which speech should be given first. The Elves eventually agree to go last because they have greater patience than the short-lived dwarves. The dwarves take grievous insult to this. Aragorn trying to explain how Legolas was like a brother to him and Gimli is a fine warrior. Aragorn being unable to get through either speech thanks to Legolas and Gimli loudly heckling each other’s speeches.
A couple dishonored dead ghosts show up just to see this most insane and greatest party ever thrown. Aragorn standing to the side of the dance floor while the dishonored dead try to lasso him in to dance with them. “You are free. I released you. Please. Go. Go now.”
Aragorn with his head on the table while Eowyn and Faramir giggle in a corner together and be super lovey-dovey at the wedding. Aragorn getting a headache from all the hitting himself in the face when Eowyn catches the bouquet (Gimli threw it) because she SLIDE TACKLED another female guest to get it and most of the lady guests new better than to challenge of shieldmaiden of Rohan for the damn bouquet anyway. Aragorn having to console a drunk Faramir that Boromir would have loved Eowyn, he would have, and yes, he was the best big brother in the world, I agree.
Aragorn having to carry a drunk off his ASS Gandalf back to his damn room while Gandalf might be hitting on him???? “You’re looking pretty Gandalf the Green, old friend, why don’t we just get you to your bed.” “Get me to YOUR bed, heir of Isildur! Hellah.” “By the bane of Isildur, nO.”
Aragorn staring mournfully at a pile of drunken hobbits writhing on the dance floor doing God knows what. It might be dancing. At least three of them are kind of cousins, please let it be dancing.
Aragorn sliding down to the ground as they send Legolas and Gimli off on their honeymoon, Gimli carrying Legolas (very slowly) in his arms into their bedroom while the two shout the lewdest things imaginable over their shoulders as a preemptive play-by-play of the upcoming night for their wedding guests.
Aragorn the saddest best man ever, is what I’m saying.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Thranduil: Go meet this nice guy I found for you he’s royalty and from a strong line of Men and I’m sure you’ll get over Tauriel real quick
*60 years later*
Legolas: Dad I’d like you to meet my new dwarf husband
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
(Source: wheeloffortune-design, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
is my neuroscience book for real
I swear this is every neuroscience textbook’s favorite joke.
@littlestartopaz you will enjoy this when you come back ….
Pfft, that’s amazing.
(via littlestartopaz)
I was thinking about Tolkien and accents today, and I really like this idea that even within the Fellowship, you’ve got this happy cacophony of different accents. Boromir speaking Sindarin with a distinctly Gondorian lilt, his Westron a functional thing cobbled-together from the slang of his men and what he learned in order to speak with traders, messengers, foreigners.
Aragorn, so widely-traveled, being an excellent mimic—he can speak Dalish like a man of Laketown or a Haradrim like trader from South Gondor, but in moments of sincerity or seriousness, he slips into the tones of Rivendell, with all the careful articulation of someone who was scoffed at for every slip into the harsher pronunciation of Arnor.
Legolas who speaks Sindarin as his mother-tongue cool and green and fine, but whose Westron is harshly-accented, borrowed from fishermen and dwarves.
Gimli who speaks Khuzdul with that particular Longbeard cadence, which not even growing up in the Iron Hills as part of the Erebor diaspora could shake from him. Exile from Erebor forced many of the dwarves to become, if not fluent, then at least conversant in the languages of Men, in order to trade and travel on soil not their own—Gimli is no exception. (It amuses him to no end to speak to Aragorn in Dalish, and have Legolas puff up, offended not to be part of the conversation.)
Merry and Frodo and Pippin and Sam speaking Westron like the country bumpkins they are, all rounded vowels and drawls, but happy to learn all the languages that fly about them, laughing with their fellows when they mangle even the simplest of Sindarin words.
All of them sitting around the fire, telling stories, laughing at Gandalf when he can’t remember the Westron word for the Sindarin word for the Quendian word for the Valarin, who protests that he is an old man and has known too many tongues, so stop laughing, Peregrin Took, you are spraying crumbs everywhere.
#oh noooo I’m gonna cry this is perfect #but Aragorn oh my god oh my //god//
#because imagine little tiny Estel in Rivendell trying to learn Elvish #and Elrond is so patient with him and doesn’t chide him for his accent #but the other elves are sometimes less kind #teasing the young human for sound so much like a man when he speaks! #we don’t need to hear your heavy footsteps to tell you’re mortal Estel we can hear it in your words! #so Aragorn trains himself to talk exactly like them #memorizes how their cadences change on certain words or how they string their words together #like one long line in a song or poem that doesn’t break until the end of the sentence #and eventually he loses whatever his original accent was #because it is so engrained in him to mimic others that that’s what he falls back on no matter what #he doesn’t know how to speak unless he sounds like a native speaker and that saves his life on more than one occasion #but he eventually finds that he’s spent so long perfecting the voices of others #that he’s almost entirely lost his own (willowenigma)
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
sometimes i get really messed up thinking about Erebor.
- it’s hugely vast - Thorin says there are “halls upon halls beneath the mountain” and i imagine it stretches vertically as well as horizontally, so like lots of levels climbing upwards and downwards and just a HUGE amount of square footage, an entire city (perhaps larger than Minas Tirith) literally carved out of the interior of a mountain
- on that note, travel around Erebor must be facilitated by something. what if they use goats or ponies? imagine little carts, coaches, etc., driven by dwarves and transporting dwarves and visitors from point A to B, ex: the residential level is the main level but the market is three levels below - no one wants to haul groceries by hand up miles of stairs/ramps and damn like, who has enough hours in their day for all that walking? draft animals it is then. (for that matter, oxen could also be involved, in which case they would need cows to keep supplying offspring to be turned into oxen, and that means some dwarves could be dairy “farmers”).
- which brings us to… what are all these pack animals eating? hay would be easy enough to purchase from Dale or other neighbors but then it needs to be stored. and if there are lots and lots of load-bearing animals needed for everyday life in the mountain (and also for mining operations, lots of material to be hauled there) then that’s a LOT of hay and other feeds needed.
- so maybe the dwarves have something akin to a pasture somewhere in the mountain, high up, with an entire exterior wall made of glass or a similar transparent substance that lets sunlight in and creates sort of a giant greenhouse or cold frame, so they can grow grass year round for the ponies and goats and cattle to graze. otherwise hay expenses could be astronomical.
i don’t know. just. Erebor everyday life stuff. fascinating.
- it doesn’t have to be coaches and buggies tho, they could use rickshaws (do NOT let me fall into a Memoirs of a Geisha au please)
- there are likely very affluent districts and less affluent ones as well, but i’d like to think there’s no abject poverty in Erebor. like, let’s not assume the dwarves have fucked up socioeconomics as badly as we have
- miners, for instance, wouldn’t be part of a lower- or poor class, but instead would be held in places of honor and paid very well for the dangerous and important work they do - after all, they’re directly responsible for unearthing the mountain’s wealth. why should they be underpaid just because they’re physical laborers? no.
- gender roles are virtually nonexistent because it’s better that way and dwarves are awesome and i said so
- the streets are kept clean and orderly; every citizen has a sense of belonging as well as ownership in the mountain
Bilbo called it “the greatest kingdom in middle earth” and i’m not about to take that lightly
EREBOR EVERYDAY STUFF IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME???
- venTIL ATION? how do you ventilate such a huge fucking mountain, so that nobody suffocates from the heat down low? there’s a lot of natural updraft and stuff like that, but god the master level skill that would have to go into carving out a webbing of ventilation shafts that pretty much work on their own is kILLING ME
- same goes for plumbing, I mean we saw in dos that they are no strangers to using water powered mechanisms, so I’m just imagining the sweltering heat and quiet plip-plop and of pipes running through the entire mountain, meeting in like this massive brain-like rattling sputtering structure somewhere where dwarves readjust their massive cogs and shit maybe that’s too steampunk but I love it anyway
- as for the farmyard animals, erebor is a MASSIVE self-sustained kingdom, the expenses if they were to import everything would be EXORBITANT, so I bet rachel’s right, they’ve found a really clever way to grow pastures for their livestock, and also have really resilient animals who don’t mind grazing on the (newly rejuvenated) mountainsides I bet
- as for the society aspect, I wouldn’t go so far as to presume they totally eradicated poverty, but they do have a very strong system that I still believe has a lot in common with a caste system (though looser), where you’re probably born into a guild and might be expected to take up that job, but nobody except for your overly traditional parents/grandparents/wider family is going to raise an issue if you decide to do something else
- dwarven pubs
- dwarven brothels
- dwarven LIBRARIES
- DWARVENM ARKETS with like this entire MASSIVE cave spanning AT LEAST five floors dedicated to it and more adventurous buyers can rope right down the bridges if they know where they want to get, they’re selling uncut lapis lazuli down there again brb [whooshes into the depths of the mountain swan-dive style] (okay I’m exaggerating but you get the point)
- basically a dwarven kingdom works like a machine of its own, every single person is a cog in it and everyone has to work efficiently for the machine to operate smoothly oKAY FIGHT ME ON THIS (or alternatively send me more headcanons bc this is fun)
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Before she learns about his secret identity, Lois Lane thinks Clark Kent is a goddamn mess
She goes to his place to work on a joint article and it takes her like half an hour to find out that Clark lives in an absolutely nonfunctional house
She has to change a lightbulb but there are no stools, no sufficiently high chairs, no way of reaching the ceiling unless you find a way to climb the walls. “How the hell do you change your bulbs?” she asks. Clark mutters something about misplacing the footstool and helps her drag the table from the kitchen to the living room.
Lois watches Clark make lasagna and has to physically restrain him from pulling the tray out of the oven with his bare hands. “Are you out of your goddamn MIND?” she yells, scrambling to pull him away on time. “What are you DOING? WHERE ARE THE OVEN MITTS?” and Clark is just like “Right…..oven mitts…….. I think I lost them with the uh. footstool” both he and Lois pause for a moment to engage in a riveting game of Mentally Punch Clark
Lois runs into the bathroom to put on a disguise and yells out, “Where do you keep your razor?” There’s a gust of wind and Clark comes back with slightly windswept hair. “I got it!” he says with unwarranted triumph. “It’s right here. The razor I use.” Lois looks at it and it is CLEARLY recently purchased and never used and she’s just like. I don’t even care anymore
For weeks she just assumes Clark is missing some crucial element in his home and starts stacking her own things all over the place. Lois thinking Clark has no clue how to take care of himself while Clark is Eternally Tormented and has to find ways to keep his identity a secret while living in close quarters, and the slow burn mutual pining roommates AU of my dreams begins
Oh my god this is amazingly awesome! Yes please lol
Lol! Omg, yes!!
I literally can’t stop laughing at the lasagna scene, oh my god! LOL
@kookygeekpalace this seems like something that’d be in your fic
(via wildehack)
its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager
oh my god No it doesn’t don’t put this kind of pressure on people?? you can absolutely fuck up in your teen years and continue on to a good life just fine. you can drop out of school, get a GED, still go to college and finish your degree as late as you want. i know people in my school who still haven’t graduated and they’re 26. some older. you can always transfer someplace else, always build yourself up from the ground. after a certain amount of college credits, a lot of schools really don’t care about your high school GED or your SAT scores anymore. if you fuck up in your teenage years you are not a failure!! you can ALWAYS re-invent yourself, always start over. there is always a second chance.
Reblogging this for my followers freaking out over art school/college. I dropped out of high school and never thought I’d get into college as easily as I did. You will be fine!
Fun story my biology professor just told us: When he was 23 he was married to his wife and worked two jobs to support them since she was in college: gas station attendant and construction worker. He worked these two jobs because that was the only work he could get since he was at the reading level of a third grader.
One night he was writing something and his wife noticed he was writing from right to left. Since she was studying occupational therapy she realized he had a learning disability and started working with him. He slowly began to learn to read, and at 26 got his GED and went to college.
His first year of college he took the lowest level math course he could take, 001. Over the years he worked on learning what he needed to, ended up graduating with a biology degree. He then went on to get his masters and PhD, graduating at the top of his class. He is now an extremely accomplished biologist and professor.
So don’t let anyone tell you that you’re future is based on your choices as a teenager.
(via littlestartopaz)