fkef:
what the fuck ethan
I wish i had a context for this. But I really dont.
And it only takes like 10 men’s worth to temper it
…and now i think “the human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems”
You know, I always find it interesting when people make fics/art where Edward’s been promoted to some rank above major (which comes with the state alchemist certification). It’s interesting to think about sure, but Ed does literally nothing for the army. Mustang’s in Central putting in the effort and getting his name passed around the higher-ups and kissing ass while Ed does literally exactly none of that. He runs around the country with his brother and, begrudgingly, checks in from time to time. Not the sorta dude to be “highly considered” for promotion.
Though the one instance where he could reasonably get promoted would be in the event that 1) Mustang has some sort of opening in his sector and 2) Mustang feels like being a dick.
“Hey Fullmetal, long time no see.”
“Yeah yeah Al and I are in a rush. We wanted to leave Central an hour ago so hurry up and spit it out what’d you call me here for?”
“Oh don’t worry it’s good news. Wonderful news. You’re really making your way in the world. See Lieutenant Colonel Davis transferred recently to Southern Command–”
“Oh no.”
“–Which means there’s a spot for Lieutenant Colonel open here.”
“No no no you didn’t.”
“Longer hours, more responsibilities, sure. But better pay, and you’d get in good with some high-ranking people, assuming you know how to brown-nose.”
“I will literally kick your ass, Mustang.”
“For what? Brightening you future?”
“No really I will kick your ass if you’re being real here–”
“Is that a challenge, Lieuuuutenant Colonel Elric?”
“I swear to God Mustang if you a c t u a l l y d i d…”And as it turns out Mustang’s completely bluffing and gave the job to some hard-working major under his command, but he couldn’t pass up he chance to see Edward’s reaction to dealing with the idea of having genuine responsibility to the Amestrian military.
Mustang knows he actually has relatively little power over Ed, because Ed is too important to the homunculi. Mustang can’t fire Ed (not that he would) or suspend him or dock his pay or dole out any punishment really for insubordination. If he tried, Ed could just completely him, and no one under Bradley’s rule would try to enforce it.
This frustrates Mustang for some time, at least until Mustang discovers he actually is in possession of a real threat against Ed: Promotion.
This confuses a lot of people, who overhear fights between Ed and Mustang that end with Mustang menacingly discussing the better healthcare benefits of Lieutenant Colonels. Or the nicer pay. Or the guaranteed apartment housing in Central.
Most soldiers start theorizing this is some kind of back-hand threat. Something like “You know Elric, you’re under consideration for Lt. Colonel and would get all these nice things. But if you’re going to be difficult, maybe we’ll give these to someone else? Think of what you’d be missing out on.”
This theory loses all of its credibility one afternoon when Mustang’s soldiers overhear a loud, heated argument between the two of them from inside Mustang’s office. It ends with the sound of Mustang slamming both his hands down on his desk, kicking his chair back, and shouting, “I SWEAR TO GOD FULLMETAL IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP I WILL PROMOTE YOU!”
Most Central soldiers just stop trying to understand alchemists at that point.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
A GUIDE FOR YOUNG LADIES ENTERING THE SERVICE OF THE FAIRIES, by Rosamund Hodge
I.
This is the lie they will use to break you: no one else has ever loved this way before.
II.
Choose wisely which court you serve. Light or Dark, Summer or Winter, Seelie or Unseelie: they have many names, but the pith of the choice is this: a poisoned flower or a knife in the dark?
(The difference is less and more than you might think.)
Of course, this is only if you go to them for the granting of a wish: to save your father, sister, lover, dearest friend. If you go to get someone back from them, or—most foolish of all—because you fell in love with one of them, you will have no choice at all. You must go to the ones that chose you.
III.
Be kind to the creature that guards your door. Do not mock its broken, bleeding face.
It will never help you in return. But I assure you, someday you will be glad to know that you were kind to something once.
IV.
Do not be surprised how many other mortal girls are there within the halls. The world is full of wishing and of wanting, and the fairies love to play with human hearts.
You will meet all kinds: the terrified ones, who used all their courage just getting there. The hopeful ones, who think that love or cleverness is enough to get them home. The angry ones, who see only one way out. The cold ones, who are already half-fairy.
I would tell you, Do not try to make friends with any of them, but you will anyway.
V.
Sooner or later (if you serve well, if you do not open the forbidden door and let the monster eat you), they will tell you about the game.
Summer battles Winter, Light battles Dark. This is the law of the world. And on the chessboard of the fairies, White battles Black.
In the glory of this battle, the pieces that are brave and strong may win their heart’s desire.
VI.
You already have forgotten how the mortal sun felt upon your face. You already know the bargain that brought you here was a lie.
If you came to save your sick mother, you fear she is dead already. If you came to free your captive sister, your fear she will be sent to Hell for the next tithe. If you came for love of an elf-knight, you are broken with wanting him, and yet he does not seem to know you.
Say yes.
(Source: giphy.com, via amusewithaview)
A lot of the advice I got about learning to enforce my boundaries was framed as an adversarial thing. Like, ‘yes, it might upset and disappoint the people around you, but you have to learn to tell them ‘no’ anyway.’ At best, ‘good people will still like you if you enforce your boundaries’.
What I wish I’d been told is that good people will think it’s awesome that you enforce your boundaries, that there are people who will respect the hell out of you for it, that there are people who will admire you not despite you telling them no, but because of it. That most people don’t want to make you do something you don’t enjoy,and so they’ll actively be happier and more relaxed around you if they know they can trust you to decline to do things you don’t enjoy and to ask them to stop things that bother you.
It helped me a lot, personally, to stop thinking of ‘enforcing my boundaries’ as something I did for me and more as something I did to empower the people I was close with, to build a situation where they and I felt sure everything that was going on was something we all wanted.
Most advice isn’t good for everyone and this advice seems maybe bad for people in abusive situations, because sometimes you do need to learn to enforce boundaries against people who will try to violate them. But if there are other brains like me out there: your partner will be really happy you can say no to them. your friend will be really happy you change the subject when you hate it. your roommate will really appreciate that you tell them to turn down the music. most people will feel safer and more comfortable around you if they know you’ll reliably express your needs, AND they’ll feel better about voicing theirs.
Tru fax.
I had a friend tell me that they really admired me for going “hey, I love you guys, but I need to go sit in a room by myself and read for an hour”. So yes, don’t be afraid of setting your boundaries!
And for people like me, who are very very VERY bad with things like unspoken clues to the fact that someone wants me to do/not do something or whatever? It is such a relief not to have to be constantly worried that I’ll do something that will make them not want to hang out with me anymore.
I’ve lost friends because they never tried to enforce their boundaries and as a result I had no idea I was trampling right over them until they got to a point where they couldn’t handle it anymore, and it is an AWFUL SHITTY FEELING knowing you’ve done that to someone.
Please please please enforce your boundaries with me. I promise I will love you for it.
This is so, so, SO important, people.
I am both bad at enforcing my boundaries and constantly scared of stomping over other peoples. It makes me feel safer if I know you can say No to me.
I don’t know why it never occurred to me that others would feel safer if they knew I could say No as well.Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Honestly, as someone with a lot of bad shit in her past, I get really nervous and scared around people who won’t tell me where their boundaries are. If I can’t trust you to be honest with me when I ask “Is this ok?”, I’m just going to be anxious all the time. (Bonus points for people who constantly make me guess whether I’m upsetting them or not just so they can turn around and yell at me later! Fun times.)
Bottom line: among non-abusive people, boundaries are good for everyone. Mutually expressing boundaries with your friends is a sign of respect and kindness.
(via lupinatic)
ME AF.
(Source: astoundly, via slyrider)
“as you know, the immune system walks a fine line between being absolutely useless and killing you” —
immunology professor this week (via hyacinth-willow)
I mean, a fever is basically your immune system going, “LET’S SEE WHO BURNS FIRST, MOTHERFUCKER.”
(via thebastardofgloucester)
#ALSO MOST DEADLY ILLNESSES ARE ONLY DEADLY BECAUSE YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS TRYING TO HELP
(via fightthecoldwithspices)
lol I had to get vaccinated for rabies once (for a job working w/ animals) and the post-injection sickness was SO BAD and the virus in it is fucking DEAD, you’re not actually sick at all it’s literally JUST YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM BEING A SHIT I was so upset but tbh it’s a good sign bc it means you’re good and immune if that happens
(via badscienceshenanigans)
(via clockwork-mockingbird)
So now that it is the day after Trans Day of Visibility, I am hoping fellow cis people will actually make more than just cosmetic efforts to be tolerant.
If you don’t know how you can help, pretty much every struggling trans person I ever met has a PayPal you can donate to.
If you are broke or unable, keeping other cis people accountable, make a fucking effort to use/respect pronouns, make your spaces (work, school, bathroom, home) safe and comfortable for trans people especially your friends.
Keep your comments/criticism about clothes, gender, make up, passing, sex work, respectability, gatekeeping etc to your fucking self.
If you are an artist, writer, poet etc… Representation goes a long way. Not to have them suffer, or be in pain or struggle or die but to include them as much as you would someone who was cis, as a complex character.
If you still don’t know what to do listen to a trans person when they say what they need, do the work to make sure they are heard. Especially trans women of color, especially especially especially black trans women.
(via determamfidd)
[video]
- I don’t care what people say about you. You’re alright.
- I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you.
- I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.
- You couldn’t pour the water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
- Somewhere out there a tree is working very hard to replace the oxygen you consume. Now go apologize to it.
- I’ve been called worse things by better people.
- You’re as much use as a chocolate teapot.
- Well I would agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
- You’re as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense.
- This is why people talk about you when you’re not around.
- I bet you like your steak well done.
(x)
Best insults ever. I love the one about the tree.
- Bless your heart.
- Isn’t that nice for you.
(via im-lost-but-not-gone)
“
I wrote the first 5,000 words of William the Antichrist. It had a demon named Crawleigh. He drove a Citroen 2CV, and was ineffectual. Proper demons like Hastur and Ligur loathed him. It had a baby swap. I sent it to a few friends for feedback. Then my graphic novel Sandman happened, and it was almost a year later that the phone rang.
“It’s Terry,” said Terry. “‘Ere. That thing you sent me. Are you doing anything with it?“
“Not really.”
“Well, I think I know what happens next. Do you want to sell it to me? Or write it together?”
“Write it together,” I said, because I was not stupid, and because that was the nearest I was ever going to get to Michaelangelo phoning to ask if I wanted to paint a ceiling with him.
” —Neil Gaiman
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-30512620
(via duod)
A writing partner who makes your imagination and spirit soar is more precious than gold.
(via kryptaria)
Life Goals! THIS RIGHT HERE!!!
(via theactualcluegirl)
(Source: wickednotevil, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)