@words-writ-in-starlightokay, so, I love all the posts that run off the assumption that humans are the most ridiculous sapient species in the galaxy
but what if it’s just the other way around
what if humans are notoriously straitlaced and obsessed with protocol. the bureaucrats of the stars.
which is obviously something we would constantly try to complain about and disprove only for some Alpha Centaurian to be like “Captain, your species formalized spirituality, repeatedly, and a recurring theme therein is that the heavens themselves are run as a bureaucracy. Even your rebellions and revolutions are meticulously planned.”
it’s not a bad thing, per se, to have a human on your team — analytical minds, good diplomats (if only because one human etiquette system can be more complex and even contradictory than the vastly varied customs of an entire species) — but be prepared for them to call attention to moral quandaries and loopholes that never would have occurred to you.
and speaking of loopholes, do be careful, because the only thing worse than a human armed with an ironclad system of rules is a human who’s found a gaping hole in them.
“You’re telling me there was a mass movement to name a boat something dumb as a joke?”
“First of all, it wasn’t a mass movement, and second of all, the boat was by no means the first time nor the last.”
“…Exactly how much of Earth comedy is based on incongruous branding?”
Hear me out here: Humans as both.
Like most sapient species assume the above; humans are straitlaced, meticulous, and methodical. They follow strict rules which dictate their social interactions and even a slight variation is considered taboo. They are the quintessential bureaucrats.
Except when they’re not.
We’ve talked about humans method of scientific exploration and advancement involving a ridiculous amount of danger for all parties involved. But, ya know, we write it all down in a very orderly manner and get published and peer reviewed. And then other humans copy the incredibly dangerous experiment to see what happens for themselves.
Humans survived the volatile early years of their species rise through community-bonding. They put the needs of a group of individuals over all else; hunting as a group, eating as a group, raising families as a group, and sometimes dying as a group. This tendency to form strong bonds means that while a human’s signed contract can always be trusted. It also means that a human cannot be trusted to not rip that contract up and say “Fuck it” if an individual with whom they have a community-bond is in danger. Other species are baffled to discover that the individual in question need not be human, or even sapient. Stories of humans who have defended what would normally be considered prey animals by other omnivorous species, of humans who have killed to defend their non-human crew mates, even one story (surely just a story, it can’t be true) of an entire crew of humans who elevated a simple non-sapient cleaning bot to officer’s rank and threatened rebellion if it was decommissioned.
So, sure, humans are logical and awfully organized for such a diverse species. They make phenomenal bureaucrats and politicians. They’re highly sought after as strategists and advisors to royalty the galaxy over.
But, they’re also appear to take great pleasure in looking the rules dead in the eyes and very deliberately thumbing their nose as those rules. Because, the rules (and logic) say you probably shouldn’t jump off a cliff into unknown waters and humans have made multiple sports based entirely off that concept.
as an individual: logical, organized
as a species: hold my beerI love that Stabby the robot has become part of the Canon of “human interaction with aliens”.
yall can u. reblog this and tag it with the number of posts in your drafts? i wanna know for science
(via fuckyeahisawthat)
“are you really going to tear a friendship apart over different opinions??”
listen, I got tons of friends who like pineapple on their pizza, but once you reach that “you, your community, or other marginalized communities don’t deserve basic human rights or even perhaps the right to live” level, you should just accept that it’s your fault no one wants to be your friend.
More accurately, no one really breaks up friendships (or families) over differences of “opinion”, but they will do so over differences of fundamental issues of morality.
The fact that large numbers of people think that “moral positions, often about issues that are literally life and death” and “personal opinions” are interchangeable concepts is a large part of what’s wrong with society.
this really put into words something i’ve always struggled to articulate, especially the last paragraph.
(via im-lost-but-not-gone)
What do you do with those ideas that are too much based on another thing to be an original novel but way too off-base to even be an AU?
Anonymous asked: I hope you're having a good day!
This is fucking adorable, I hope you’re having a good day too, anon.
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your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord:
Straight dudes are their own worst enemies when it comes to getting laid.
Like, i know so many girls who are down for something more casual and who actually have really low standards that boil down to “treat me like a person, not a talking fleshlight”. And dudes refuse to even meet those standards!
Like, you know how many times I’ve been talking to a guy and I’ve already decided that when we hang out I’d down to mess around, only for the guy to start talking super graphically or send me a picture of his dick–and then literally all desire I had for him went out the windows.
Like dudes are so obsessed with sex that theyre scaring almost-certain sex partners away because they refuse to act like human beings capable of rational thought.
Bring thing this back to add an example:
I started talking to a guy on tinder. He was funny, flirty and super nice even though he wasn’t really my type. Most importantly, he was completely respectful. He managed to let me know he thought I was attractive, and that he was interested in me, without ever saying anything gross, asking for pictures or asking for sex. We met up for drinks and talked for hours and I realized I was more attracted to him than I initially thought . Not only did I sleep with him on the first date, but I’ve hooked up with him multiple times after that. The first time, he didn’t make any assumptions. We hung out, started making out and then he asked me if I wanted to stay the night. That was it. He STILL has never asked me for a nude, or sent me some overtly sexual message or picture.
But SOMEHOOOW I still want to have sex with him.
Conversely, I started talking to another guy on tinder today. On our FIRST conversation, he has mentioned my boobs 3 times, invited me over to “watch a movie” (he added the quotes, not me), suggested a fwb set up and just asked for nudes.
GUESS WHO ISN’T GONNA GET IN MY PANTS.
I try so hard to tell them.
Trash men are out here getting advice from other trash men so they don’t know how to act. 🙄
But… But why are they incapable of learning from bad experience after bad experience?
BECAUSE PERVASIVE CULTURAL SEXISM HAS TAUGHT THEM THAT THE PROBLEM IS YOU.
THINK ABOUT THE MOVIES. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SEEN A GUY PROTAGONIST BEHAVE CONSISTENTLY OBNOXIOUSLY TOWARDS HIS LOVE INTEREST AND STILL END UP GETTING THE ROMANTIC PAYOUT? PROBABLY A LOT. (EVEN MOVIES I OTHERWISE LIKE, SUCH AS GOTG2, DO THIS.) THE MODEL IS, ESSENTIALLY, THAT WOMEN ARE LIKE SLOT MACHINES WHERE YOU PUT INTERACTION IN AND EVENTUALLY THE WHEELS COME UP “SEX”, REGARDLESS OF THE NATURE OR QUALITY OF THAT INTERACTION. ANY WOMAN WITH WHOM THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN IS ASSUMED TO BE BROKEN IN SOME WAY.
(”THE FRIENDZONE” IS BASED ON A VARIATION ON THE SAME MODEL, IN WHICH YOU PUT IN A PERIOD OF NON-SHITTINESS AND ARE “”“SUPPOSED””” TO GET SEX AS A PAYOUT.)
(via johanirae)
Anonymous asked: Sorry to bother you, but have you ever heard or read Deltora Quest?
I haven’t, sorry!
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