Since I know there’s probably a fair amount of you out there who haven’t seen the first three Mad Max movies, I’m here to tell you a li’l secret about them:
All the people complaining about how Max “isn’t the main character” in Fury Road are big ol’ Fake Fanboys cause Max’s primary character trait in literally every movie is “I hate this, why is it happening, please leave me alone to brood in the desert in peace”.
He’s much more the central focus of the plot in the first movie but in Road Warrior and Thunder Dome he basically just gets kidnapped or beat up by wankers in weird bondage outfits and spends the rest of the movie trying to leave as soon as possible while other people are like “please solve our absurd post-apocalyptic problems”. There is not one single point where Max actively seeks out being a hero until it is forced upon him. He ACTIVELY TELLS PEOPLE WHO ASK HIM FOR HELP to take a hike.
Mad Max himself would like nothing better than to never, ever, ever be the main character.
He would also like for people to stop stealing his fucking car.
Nobody wants to escape his own movies more than Max Rockatansky.
He understands better than his own fanboys that his life sucks and you don’t want to be like him, to be Max is humiliating and painful. Every time he gets dragged into a conflict, he ends up worse than he started. Max seems to realize no good can come of this, and is weirdly genre-savvy because he’s always trying to make a getaway at the first signs of encroaching Plot. I find this darkly comical and endearing – at no point does he snap off witty quips and save the day and get the girl. Ever. He’s perpetually a weird desert loser with terrible luck. It’s great.
What makes Max a badass is the ability to survive to the end of any movie he’s unfortunate enough to find himself in.
We still 28 states and territories to get through! And we have hardly covered the western states (only Nevada, which Hillary won by a hair) and the north, which tend to be more liberal!
Here’s the schedule for Democratic primaries and caucuses!
Saturday, March 26 Alaska (caucus)-20 delegates Hawaii (caucus)-34 delegates Washington (primary)-118 delegates
Tuesday, April 5 Wisconsin (primary)-96 delegates
Saturday, April 9 Wyoming (caucus)-18 delegates
Tuesday, April 19 New York (primary)-291 delegates
Tuesday, April 26 Connecticut (primary)-70 delegates Maryland (primary)-118 delegates Pennsylvania (primary)-210 delegates Rhode Island (primary)-33 delegates
Tuesday, May 3 Indiana (primary)-92 delegates
Saturday, May 7th Guam (primary)-12 delegates
Tuesday, May 10 West Virginia (primary)-34 delegates
Tuesday, May 17 Kentucky (caucus)-63 delegates Oregon (primary)-73 delegates
Saturday, June 4 Virgin Islands (caucus)-12 delegates
Sunday, June 5 Puerto Rico (caucus)-64 delegates
Tuesday, June 7 California (primary)-546 delegates Montana (primary)-27 delegates New Jersey (primary)-127 delegates New Mexico (primary)-47 delegates North Dakota (caucus)-23 delegates South Dakota (primary)-25 delegates District of Columbia-46 delegates
Casual reminder: Bernie has lost 16 states to Clinton. Obama lost 21 to Clinton including Florida and Ohio. Bernie is also projected to do pretty well in the next two primaries. Please keep the faith and please keep voting! We failed him today big time, but he still has a chance. Please get out there and vote, because if we give up on him now we will really be failing him. Be loud, be proud, and speak up!
WE CAN’T LOSE BERNIE PLEASE FOR ALL WE KNOW THIS IS HIS LAST CHANCE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT AND HILLARY CLINTON IS NOTHING COMPARED TO HIM AND GOD BE FUCKING DAMNED IF I EVER VOTE FOR DRUMPF OR ANYONE ELSE
