Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”
“You’re telling me my fourth most popular quote on Goodreads is that dick joke from Twelfth Night? And people actually think that when I said ‘greatness,’ I meant like, high standing and shit, and not dicks? Oh my god. Oh my god. This is the greatest day of my life.”
(via lupinatic)
I feel like the US refuses to adopt the Metric System out of spite at this point
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
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elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
I’m watching a documentary in my us government class and they guy was saying how many of the founding fathers would blush and shy away from the fact that they were looked up to as gods and then it started playing some funky rock music and panned down to Alexander Hamilton and said, “Most of them that is.”
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
I want everyone to push the Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer joke relentlessly until Ted Cruz is forced to address whether or not he is the zodiac killer in a debate
(Source: houndsoflovemp3, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
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Poison Ivy as a kindergarten teacher
no, but really: flytraps use up a LOT of energy closing their traps. You know a lot of other plants that move that much? Tricking them into closing when there isn’t food there is indeed mean.
B-but… they’re plants… they’re devoid of sentience, right? They don’t “feel,” they’re more like little wind-up machines. Right? They don’t act on instinct, they’re… well… traps. You can’t actually be mean to a plant. Right??
I’m of the opinion that meanness is about the nature of the action, not awareness on the part of the target of the action.
Tricking them into closing their traps is actually harmful to them, since the energy expended in closing and then re-opening the trap isn’t replenished by having a tasty insect to digest.
I’m of the opinion that meanness is about the nature of the action, not awareness on the part of the target of the action.
@ayellowbirds confirmed for Poison Ivy
fun fact, that line has become so popular that i’m quoted outside of tumblr without attribution.
It’s such a good quote and such a good way to be in life…we could do with more people who have such a kind way of viewing the world <3
(Source: thetackybunny, via academicfeminist)
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