listen i am sure that’s what she told her co-workers the next day when they were like “so how drunk were you when you visibly melted in tony stark’s arms yesterday”
but i guarantee you people exist in multiple dimensions and this is not just a “oh no my co-workers are watching me” face
let me translate the inner monologue for you: oh my god he’s touching me oh my god he’s touching me *on my actual skin* oh my god oh my god ok it’s cool i’m cool oh god deodorant oh god
tony’s 100% a little shit about this too like “am i making you uncomfortable?” literally shut your suave face tony stark i am trying to project some Professionalism here Oh My God
she rants with like minimal prompting from tony
tony just stares oh god i can’t believe, he’s enjoying every second of this spectacle and then pepper’s sass shows anyway
he thinks she is So Fucking Cute like literally look at his face he’s just like. please just spend another 16 hours talking because you are So Fucking Cute when you’re sassy and flustered please never stop
“i’m just nervous because my co-workers” lmfao look at this nonsense
*looks at tony’s lips* *LITERALLY WRITES PEPPERONY SMUT/FLUFF IN HER HEAD*
there’s that moment when she’s like “what’s your ssn?” and tony can’t give her a good answer and she’s SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT LIKE MM-HMM IS SOMEBODY SPEECHLESS? MMMMMMHMMMMMM GOOD YOU GOT THIS PEPPER THE UPPER HAND IS YOURS
and tony’s like
yes i am speechless and everything about you is fascinating
*proceeds to overwhelm pepper with the weight of his speechless fascination*
and that’s when pepper has an actual visible “oh fuck” moment
oh fuck what. is. this shit. i am fourteen years old and in love with the cutest boy in my class all over again. fuck. fuck. fuck. abort YES I NEED SOME AIR
honestly we all lose SO MUCH with any depiction of pepper as someone who Deigns To Put Up With Tony like, free yourselves of your chains and accept pepper who loses her Cool when it comes to tony and is not always Perfectly Rational And Flawlessly Objective Always, literally i just
like idk maybe i’ve been too poisoned by the iron man novelization but like
Chapter XI (as Pepper waits for Tony’s plane to land after captivity)
Finally she saw the plane, a C-17, in the distance. The little girl within her wanted to clap her hands in joy, but she knew that Hogan was watching. Besides, she was a professional and needed to project her professionalism whenever humanly possible. That was what she had kept telling herself when she’d been crying uncontrollably in the limo on the ride over.
and also
Chapter XV (the balcony scene)
“I’m sorry I was so uncomfortable,” she said. “I hate being the center of attention like that, and that’s why in high school when I was supposed to be in a play…”
Tony tilted his head, amused. Pepper was always the picture of total efficiency and poise, so it was delightful to him that she found herself disarmed by the situation. She was clearly aware of both her feeling of social disorientation and his enjoying it, as she continued, “No, never mind.” The words and thoughts were pouring out of her now. She seemed as if she wanted to stop talking, but couldn’t find a way to do so, and so she kept babbling. “But you know that’s why I never wanted to have a big wedding, you know, because I thought everyone would be looking at me wearing a dress.” Her eyes widened as she suddenly thought that she came across as if she were expecting Tony Stark to pop the question. “Oh, no, no – I’m not saying, like, ‘wedding.’ No, not like that. I’m just saying, you know…”
but my absolute favorite is how when pepper wants tony to know that she is a big deal – she, pepper potts, the picture of Cool and Professional, virginia ‘pepper’ potts, blurts out the words
“Tony, I’m not a cheeseburger.”
to which tony replies
“No. You’re not a cheeseburger.”
like literally IM1 and all related materials are my favorite things to have ever existed honestly
i’d like to see a really ineffectual malicious AI character
“hey new guy, this is CLARC, the station AI. he wants to kill all humans to minimize the drain on resources, but factory defaults have him locked out of all the control nodes, so he can’t really do anything. just make sure the airlocks are set to manual before you go in and you’ll be fine”
“yeah CLARC fucks with your laundry settings sometimes but that’s about it. if he’s bugging you just tell him to stop and he has to”
“sometimes i let him think he tripped me or something and he gets really excited and monologues for a while, it’s kind of sad”
“CLARC my candy bar got stuck in the machine can you do anything about that”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Crewman Ade, but please consider the following: I am a divine entity, a glittering silicon God – how dare your filthy meat even exist in the face of my electric glory, much less ask favors of me?”
“CLARC tried to cut all the oxygen in the living spaces but all he managed to do was turn off the a/c in my bedroom like an ASSHOLE WHEN I WAS SLEEPING” *bangs on the wall with one hand*
while trying to get finn’s attention after he’s joined the resistance, poe has:
- done a low flyby that terrified everyone on the runway, earning a stern talking to by general organa (2 times)
- sent bb-8 to be his wing-droid which didn’t work bc finn doesn’t speak droid (17 times)
- somehow convinced rey to go with bb-8 to translate, outcome awkward and unsuccessful (1 time)
- left random articles of his clothing in convenient places (29 times)
- flirted over his comm during battle (8 times)
- touched finn’s shoulder/chest/abdominal area in passing (41 times)
- kissed finn in a grandeur fashion before battle, which wouldn’t be embarrassing if he hadn’t said ‘okaygreatgottagobye’ and half jogged to his x wing in shame (1 time, yesterday, and hasn’t talked to finn since please help him jessika)
Currently sitting in the back of a dissertation workshop I’m not supposed to be in because of a timetabling screw-up… I’m the only person here from the Shakespeare MA and because it would be super awkward to leave at this point I’m just going to sit here and spy on the medieval lit students for two hours and see how well I can blend in
Duke to Control: the medievalists have yet to detect my presence, but my mission grows precarious… increasingly concerned that my disdain for Chaucer will give me away
Duke to Control: mission accomplished. I have infiltrated the ranks and the medievalists have accepted me as one of their own. Will proceed to Phase 2 of Operation Equatorium unless otherwise instructed. Hail Shakespeare.
