friend: im so glad i met you… you’re so fun to talk to! i love talking to you…
me, to myself: no. you fool. its the other way around. i, in fact, am the one who is glad to have met you. i am overjoyed in your presence. do not say that you enjoy talking to me more.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
[video]
tbh I’d love a horror-comedy about a retail worker accidentally becoming a ghost/demon hunter because they’re just so unfazed by difficult and weird and bellicose customers that evil entities aren’t much more of a challenge.
“sir or ma'am or neuter, I’m going to have to ask you to stop crawling on the ceiling, you’re disturbing the other residents”
“please leave this place before I call the exorcist to remove you from the premises”
“company policy forbids me from accepting power from customers in exchange for my soul or firstborn child”
“sir, if you keep speaking to me like that, I’m going to have to end this spirit board conversation. have a good day, goodbye”
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
[video]
guys please don’t vote for Donald Trump. I don’t have enough money to move out of the United States right now.
(via dyinghistoric)
whenever I feel bad about having a weird name I remind myself that C.S. Lewis’ middle name was Staples
When I was a kid, one of my family members quoted the first line of Dawn Treader—“There was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it"—and I said, “Brave words from a man whose name was Clive Staples Lewis,” and my mom lost it.
THIS POST CHANGED MY LIFE.
(via fireflyca)
god damn it Han Solo is not some smooth ladies man or even some legendary cool smuggler dude like Han Solo is literally an enormous dork with no talent besides a pretty face and a way with words who is constantly in over his head & trying to look like a mega cool kid but the mega cool kid is 100% an act
Like literally every Han Solo scene can be summed up as either *internal screaming* or “idgaf wait yes god sorry yes i gaf but please pretend I didn’t say so I’m cool dammit I’m mega cool”
And that’s why he’s perfect & great
#like I’m p sure he won the falcon by accident#and if he really did make the kessel run super fast that was also an accident#can he even actually fly or is chewie just kind of doing it for him and sighing a lot#Han Solo#we just don’t know#he is literally just making up half the shit that happens as he goes along and is constantly surprised by not being dead#he’s that one D&D player who doesn’t plan or listen to the other players plans and just kinda charges in yelling but somehow constantly rolls 20s and everyone is like h o w
(via thepainofthesass)
(via princehal9000)
[video]