give me a fandom and i’ll reply to you with my:
- lowkey otp
- highkey notp
- [softly] don’t notp
- highkey otp but i’m scared of saying it because it’s not a very popular choice
- highkey otp and anyone on my tumblr knows it
(via amusewithaview)
In the late 19th century, an inexperienced doctor performed his first surgery n a room full of people. Feeling the pressure, he felt the need to perform the amputation in the quickest time possible, and ended up amputating his patient’s arm in the space of around 25 seconds. In the process of this, he accidentally amputated his assistant’s fingers too. Both patient and assistant died of sepsis, and a spectator died from shock, making it the only operation ever with a 300% mortality rate.
how badly…can one person fuck up….
THIS IS MY BOY!! THIS IS MY BOY ROBERT LISTON!! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HIM!!
For starters, he practiced in a time before anesthesia was invented, when performing surgeries and amputations quickly were key to reducing a patients’ pain and upping their chance of survival. He was known as the ‘fastest knife on West End’ and could allegedly take a leg off in 2 ½ minutes. Some say he could amputate a limb in 30 seconds flat if he had to, he was exactly the man you wanted to call in case of emergency like this, because he could get you done and stitched nice and fast, before you bled out or died from shock.
On top of that, he was a theater surgeon, and I mean, he brought the THEATER to it. This man would scream for the students watching him to time him, and when he had to free his hands, shove his BLOODY FUCKING KNIFE between his teeth. Also, the 300% mortality rate wasn’t because he was inexperienced- it was because he was WAY TOO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT CUTTING LEGS OFF, swinging his knife around for the effect. This was not the only time his enthusiasm got the better of him on the table, once, he amputated a man’s leg and accidentally took off his testicles in the same go.
He was, however, the first man to perform surgery with the use of anesthesia, and was a strong proponent of its use. He’s also famous for having UNSHAKABLE morals, he once got punched out a surgeon IN FRONT OF HIS WHOLE CLASS for displaying a woman’s corpse in a ‘voyeuristic’ manner, then straight-up took the body and had her decently buried (The woman was a murder victim and the surgeon he punched may have been complicit in the whole thing as well.).
Liston is such a coolio figure in early medical history he fight he heal he knock people the fuck out.
(via fireflyca)
This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.
A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.
Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?
His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.
I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.
It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.
I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.
I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.
I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.
So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.
This post is one of those things that I will reblog every time it appears on my dash. This is so important, and no one ever tells you about it.
I almost didn’t read this but then I did and I’m really glad that I did.
And like, I had fiber craft lessons all through my mandatory schooling (sewing, knitting, crochet etc). “Learn to modify a store-bought item to match your body” would fit in those classes just fine.
(via bonehandledknife)
The very best of early modern insults:
“Alas, I behold thee with pity, not with anger, thou common shot-clog!”
What the fuck is a shot-clog? I have no idea but I’m definitely using this next time I get cat-called.
Okay apparently a shot-clog is a person you secretly can’t stand but publicly put up with because you know they’re going to foot the bill for everyone at the end of the night. That’s such a useful term, why did we ever stop saying that?
let carrie fisher cast the young han solo, i trust her judgement.
For a second I thought that said “cast carrie fisher as the young han solo” and I was just like yeah ok, that could work.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
“Dear Disney: Whiny emo fuckboy pissbabies ain’t where its at. If you think so, I have some bad news. https://t.co/EusKylIVUw”
(via johanirae)
Nate: i have made Leverage
Hardison: you fucked up perfectly good criminals is what you did. look at them. they’ve got morals.
(via renew-leverage)
okay so all pilots have to have some kinda astromech in their x-wings but poe gets frustrated because they actually slow him down with all their calculations but it’s a REQUIREMENT so he keeps trying astromech after astromech and none of them work so then he goes to whatever you call a droid store and sits down all dejected, and after a while little BB-8 rolls over to him all beeping in concern and is like “i’m not an official astromech but i AM a droid so maybe i can help!!!” and so Poe pops sweet little BB-8 into the x-wing and it all goes wonderfully from then on because it’s Poe flying around with BB-8 basically putting good job!!! or wheeeeeeeee!!! on the screen every now and then
(via dubiousculturalartifact)
You sing along to Panic At The Disco or you hop out of my car and walk
by Fall Out Boy
if you don’t understand why this is funny, I don’t think I can explain it to you.
by Panic! At The Disco
(via clockwork-mockingbird)