Anonymous asked: can you plz plz plz explain that tweet about hasidic jews? and your tag "#just shake the asparagus and smell the lemon just go with it" i am sooo christian and soooo confused! much luv man. xx
So the fact that a non jew wouldn’t get it is kind of the joke don’t feel bad! We grow up around it our whole lives so we never really realize exactly how weird our traditions are until we have to interact with other people. Right now, we’re celebrating the jewish holiday of Sukkot, which is basically our fall celebration of the beginning of the agricultural season in Israel (because it’s a massive slice of desert so it’s a pretty big deal). The bEST part of it is that we have to build what’s called a Sukkah- which is kind of like a GIANT FUCKING WOODEN FORT IT’S SO COOL with thatched roofs to see the stars through, and after the religious days have passed we’re supposed to decorate it, hang out, eat sleep and party in it! It has a lot of religious significance pertaining to dependence on god and the earth and the Exodus, in a secular way, and in the way I was raised as well, it’s a mitzvah to invite people in to celebrate with you! Jewish or not! Like the story of Abraham and the Angels.
What that tweet is referring to though is the lulav and the etrog, and that’s where things get HILARIOUS.
SO the lulav isn’t asparagus and the etrog isn’t a lemon. An etrog is a a sweet smelling citron that represents the heart because it’s most commonly found in Israel and Palestine and other significant MENA areas that many Jews are native to. Anyway the funny thing is that an etrog has to be kosher certified and meet to certain aesthetic and storing standards AND WE DON’T EVEN GET TO EAT IT DURING THE HOLIDAY. It’s sort of like a status symbol too like the family who can get the nicest, biggest etrog has something to really brag about. What we’re meant to do is entwine it with the lulav, a collection of a palm frond, myrtle, and willow, hold it in our right hands, and then… i’m not kidding.. shake it. You shake it north south east west up and down while saying the prayers to bring in blessings from every corner of the earth, especially rain. it’s basically a jewish rain dance but hey we’re the only people who have ever been able to grow tomatoes in the Negev so maybe it works. It also represents Jewish unity and unity with G-d and the world around you, so it’s an incredibly fulfilling thing to do. So back to that tweet, it’s really funny and endearing to think of a Hasidic man standing on the street with a lulav just trying to make some pals and give people the opportunity to participate with no concept of how insane we look to other people. Tbh he probably doesn’t care because it’s a rad holiday and I love it very much.
This has been your friendly jewish history lesson of the day
Locals said his message was almost impossible to understand, but seemed to be aggressive and was ruining the atmosphere on a lovely sunny day in the town.
One individual said that he and his partner were out “enjoying the last of the sunshine” when they came upon the street preacher, who was screaming about how gay marriage has ruined the economy. And then… THE BAGPIPER.
A young lad named Daniel Boyle was playing ‘Scotland the Brave’ the whole time while the crowd cheered.
So I’ve recently written a lot of posts that talk about James Rhodes, aka War Machine, aka the only person in the world who put up with Tony Stark for decades. I thought it might be useful if I link them all in one place. So….
This
is a blog that I repost every year, because it is something that is, for
obvious reasons, very important to me to educate and inform people
about. Since posting about my experience with an ectopic pregnancy and
talking about it, several women have told me that knowing the
symptoms was what got them to the hospital in time. Please read it.
Please tell others about it.
As always, this hurts to think about. My heart goes
out to anyone who may be struggling with fertility issues or loss. You
are not alone. I wish you peace and joy in the life that you have, even
if it is not the life you’d imagined for yourself, and I wish you all
the strength and support you need to find that peace and joy. (And I
also want you to know it’s okay to not be okay now, and it’s okay to not
be okay sometimes even after you are okay.)
First and foremost, I’m glad I’m not dead.
Seriously. I’m really, really glad
I’m not dead. That would have sucked. And, thanks to the fact that I
recognized warning symptoms and had some emergency surgery seven years
ago today, I get to be alive to appreciate being alive. I’m a big fan.
So
in honor of my not-dying anniversary, I’m doing a PSA about ectopic
pregnancy. Even if you never plan on having children, these are
important symptoms to know because you could very well save the life of
someone you love. Or your own. (Unless you do not have female reproductive organs, in which case your
risk of ectopic pregnancy = non-existent. Still, you like people who do,
right?)
An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy in which a fertilized
egg implants somewhere other than the uterus. This is a bad thing.
Usually the egg implants in the fallopian tube; occasionally it implants
other places. 2% of all pregnancies are ectopic. That’s 1 in 50.
Certain factors increase your risks–tubal scarring, abdominal surgery,
endometriosis, fertility treatments, IUDs–but it can happen to anyone. I
had no real risk factors.
An even scarier statistic than the one-in-fifty? Ectopic pregnancies are the number one cause of pregnancy-related death.
Part of the problem is that many women with ectopic pregnancies don’t
even know they’re pregnant. Because your body doesn’t produce as many
hormones, you might continue having periods like normal, ignore the
sudden pain, go to bed because you’re feeling tired and dizzy, and never
wake up.
I know that sounds terrible and scary. It is. It
happens. So even if you don’t think you’re pregnant, or if you think you
are just having a standard miscarriage (which was what I thought),
always, ALWAYS call the doctor if you have any of the following
symptoms:
Sharp
pain on one side of your lower abdomen. When you press down on it, it
will be a stabbing pain that you will feel reflected in the other side,
but one side will be more tender. Once your tube actually bursts the
pain will lessen considerably–DO NOT IGNORE THAT. All it means is that
you are now bleeding internally.
Feeling
dizzy and lightheaded when you aren’t lying down. This would be because
of the internal bleeding. Also, difficulty and discomfort breathing.
And
finally, the key symptom: when you lie down, you have a sharp, stabbing
pain in your shoulder. This is called referred pain, and is caused by
the blood filling up your abdomen and pushing on your lungs. (This is
also a symptom of a burst appendix and often happens after abdominal
surgery, in case you were interested.) If you EVER have abdominal pain
that is reflected in your shoulder when you lie down, go to the hospital
immediately. And have someone else drive you.
Like I said, you may not think you are pregnant, but if there is any
chance whatsoever you could be and you have these symptoms, have someone
drive you to the hospital immediately or call 911. If I had ignored my
symptoms and let my husband go to work that day, I probably would have fallen asleep on the couch and never woken up again. I
was in surgery within two or three hours of the pain starting, and at
that point I had lost so much blood I nearly needed a transfusion.
But,
because I am obsessive and had researched every pregnancy-related topic
under the sun, I knew something was wrong. And I’m not dead. And that’s
a good thing.
Here’s hoping you never have to recognize the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy. But now you can, and that’s the important thing.
This year’s side note: The fact that ectopic, fallopian, and endometriosis are all unrecognized by spellcheck pisses me off. Women’s health matters. Our bodies matter, even though they are consistently given less medical attention and education than they deserve. That’s part of why I do this.
If you have a uterus and you’re having sex with a sperm-producing person, this could happen to you. Know the signs to watch for, especially since you may not even know you’re pregnant.
So, here is the thing. I don’t believe that Parker has a plan M. She doesn’t have a plan C, an NOPQ. Parker has her plans, and yeah, they’re basically labeled the same as Nate’s were, but there’s not a single one in which Hardison dies.
But here is the other thing, and that is: Parker has contingency plans and backup plans and backup plans for her backup plans for her backup plans, but she doesn’t have a plan B. Or a plan F through L. There’s no Z, or A prime, or anything that allows for Eliot dying. And there is, especially, no plan where Eliot dies so that Hardison lives. I just don’t buy it.
Once Parker discovered what family – real family – is, she grabbed onto it with both hands and will never, ever let go. They’d have to pry it out of her dead, bloody fists before she’d let it go, and that doesn’t only include Hardison. Her family’s not one person big. Eliot is not somehow less than because they’re not fucking him (yet), or because Hardison came first, or because Eliot’d understand being sacrificed.
(Eliot just assumes that there’s a whole bevy of plans where he dies for them, where his dying day comes so long before theirs he’s barely a blip on their radar. Eliot is wrong.)
There’s no plan where people die, because Parker is not Nate v2.0. Parker is not playing a giant game of chess, where what’s most important – important beyond everything else by far – is the win. Parker is better because she knows when to lose. She knows when to walk away and try again some other time, when to fold and let down the people they’re trying to help because nothing, nothing, is as important as keeping her family alive and with her.
And, you know, maybe that actually makes her worse than Nate. Maybe it means that they’re doing less good, now that it’s her in charge, because she can’t bring herself to look at Eliot, to look at Hardison, and think “tomorrow you might not be here”. But she also can’t bring herself to care.
So, yeah, I just can’t buy Parker as Nate v2.0, or Nate Lite. I can’t buy her being willing to lose anyone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
