i hate when people are like “only dogs can give u love and affection cats are cold and elusive” like okay dog person if you had ever actually owned a cat you would know they are the neediest fucking creatures on the planet
cats will literally sit on your head until you pay attention to them
That proves the point, they want attention, they want you to pay attention to them not them!
cats show affection and love in their own way
for example
- actually holding eye contact with you and blinking slowly is how cats ‘kiss’
- cats choose to sleep or sit next to you even if you’re busy when they have a million other places to be because they like your company
- they consider positive attention love
- when they ‘headbutt’ you it’s called ‘bunting’ and it’s how they show affection
- when they knead you it’s because they feel comforted
- they think of you petting them as grooming- it makes them feel good so they will ask for you to pet them (or demand) especially if they’re feeling sad
- cats like to step on you because they mark you with their scent from their little feet telling other cats BACK THE FUCK OFF THIS HUMAN IS MINE
- cats will lick you or groom you because they want you to be clean and happy
- they bring you dead things because they don’t want you to starve
cats think of humans as parents whereas dogs think of humans as the alpha dog
;w;
(Source: formerlymyladymother-blog, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
ok but if youre gonna support the idea of removing negative people and ending relationships that one no longer benefits from, you must also be willing and open to understanding why someone may do just that to you
I suspect this post is predicated on the assumption that most people who advocate ending negative relationships are naive, or hypocrites. I think the OP might have this preconceived notion that “people wouldn’t recommend doing this if they truly understood the consequences.”
The thing is that everyone has their own list of compromises they’re willing to make vs. consequences they’re willing to put up with. Some people would rather compromise more, so they can avoid negative consequences. Some people would rather face more negative consequences, so they can avoid having to compromise.
Everyone has a different conception of “acceptable compromises” vs. “acceptable consequences” and everyone thinks that their conception is universal, and that anyone who claims otherwise is naive, or hypocritical.
I’ve talked a little about this before in a different post:
Take for example someone saying “I did everything I could.”
They might mean “I did everything I could short of compromising my personal morals”
They might mean “I did everything I could, including things generally deemed immoral.”
They might mean, “I did everything I could without damaging my mental and/or physical health.”
They might mean, “I did everything I could including damaging my mental and/or physical health.”
They might mean, “I did everything I could within what I consider an acceptable level of risk.”
They might mean, “I did things that could have killed me and/or others.”
They might mean, “I did slightly more than what I would usually do.”
And here’s the thing — whatever they did mean, they’re going to assume most people mean the same thing. Everyone naturally assumes that their line in the sand is the standard line in the sand.
[…]
Or as George Carlin once said, “everybody who drives slower than you is an idiot, and everybody who drives faster than you is a maniac.”
Now me? I’m not going to stay friends with someone out of fear of loneliness, misplaced loyalty, habit, or because I think I can change them. I would rather lose a friendship than have someone stay friends with me for these reasons. I can say that with authority, because I’ve been on both sides of that scenario.These are valid points; for me, personally, however, I reblogged the post because I found it to be a bit of an interesting mental exercise.
This is coming from the position of fully believing in [and practicing] cutting ties with people/relationships once they become a drain and/or source of toxicity as opposed to a fulfilling addition to my life.That being said, I do think it is absolutely important to take a moment to realize and consider and internalize that other people can and will do this to you for exactly those reasons–not in the sense that it should discourage you from doing so, but in the sense that you should use that self-awareness to understand their reasons, their needs, and their motivations; that is to say, instead of becoming angry or resentful over it [although it’s generally somewhat unavoidable; no one likes feeling like a burden and no one likes being cut out of someone else’s social circle, and feelings aren’t usually super rational anyway even if you can logically process the reasons behind something], to understand where that other person was/is coming from and either a/ not take it [too] personally and/or b/ modify your behaviour in current/future relationships [in the case of you being a drain or toxic presence on another person’s life].
So yes, I think it’s important to take a moment every so often to apply the rules and standards you have to your own life and choices to the behaviours and actions of other people. I, personally at least, can occasionally get sucked into a slight unconscious solipsism in that sense, and reminding myself of these things is helpful, and I’m of the opinion that it’s helpful for other people to do so as well.
(Source: anammv, via bonehandledknife)
broadwayandfandomsandfeelsohmy:
A group of Slytherin students camping outside the common room because the password is something bigoted and they refuse to say it
a group of Slytherin students having a sleepover in the Hufflepuff dormitory because the Hufflepuffs found out
A group of ravenclaw students trying to magically change the doors password when the hufflepuffs tell them
a group of Gryffindors trying to forcibly remove the door when they finally find out
“#im so into the idea of the ravenclaws being like #‘we tried every spell we could think of and we cant get it to change the password or let us in without it’ #and the gryffindors are just like #‘ALRIGHT EVERYONE STAND BACK WE’RE EITHER GONNA JINX THIS DOOR INTO OBLIVION OR BLOW IT THE FUCK UP WITH LITERAL EXPLOSIVES BUT WE ARE GETTI #*GETTING IN WITHOUT THAT PASSWORD ONE WAY OR ANOTHER'” (via: detectivejoan)
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
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no offense but this is literally the most neurotypical thing i have ever seen
Uhhhh… no. This is what they teach you in therapy to deal with BPD and general depression. When I got out of the hospital after hurting myself a second time, I got put into intensive outpatient program for people being released from mental hospitals as a way to monitor and help transition them into getting them efficient long-term care. This is something they stressed, especially for people with general depression. When you want to stay at home and hide in your bed, forcing yourself to do the opposite is what is helpful. For me, who struggles with self harm- “I want to really slice my arm up. The opposite would be to put lotion on my skin (or whatever would be better, like drawing on my skin) the opposite is the better decision.” It doesn’t always work because of course mental health isn’t that easy, but this is part of what’s called mindfulness (they say this all the time in therapy)
Being mindful of these is what puts you on the path to recovery. If you’re mindful, you are able to live in that moment and try your best to remember these better options.
I swear to god, I don’t get why some people on this website straight up reject good recovery help like this because either they a)have never been in therapy so don’t understand in context how to use these coping tactics. Or b)want to insist that all therapists and psych doctors are neurotypical and have zero idea what they are talking about. (Just so ya know, they teach this in DBT, the therapy used to help BPD. The psychologist who came up with DBT actually had BPD, so….a neurotypical women didn’t come up with this.)
I have clinical OCD and for me, exposure therapy–a version of “do the opposite”–has been fundamental. I’ve had huge improvement in the last year, but I’m 100% clear that if I hadn’t done my best to follow this protocol I’d be fucked. I have a lot of empathy for that moment when you’re just too tired to fight and you check the stove or you wash your hands or go back to the office at midnight to make sure the door is locked. But the kind of therapeutic approach outlined above has been crucial for me.
It’s hard to do. I’ve weathered panic attacks trying to follow this protocol. But I’ve gotten remarkable results. I was afraid to touch the surfaces in my house, okay? I was afraid to touch my own feet, afraid to touch my parrot–deliberately exposing myself to “contamination” has helped me heal. I can’t speak for people with other issues, but this has helped my anxiety and OCD.
I feel that tumblr, in an effort to be accepting of mental illness, has become anti-recovery. Having a mental illness does not make you a bad person. There is nothing morally wrong with having a mental illness anymore than more than there’s something morally wrong with having the flu. However, if you’re “ill” physically or mentally, something is wrong in the sense that you are unwell and to alleviate that you should try to get better. While there is not “cure” for mental illness, there are ways to get better.
There was a post on tumblr where someone with ADHD posted about how much you can get done when you focus and was attacked for posting about being “nuerotypical” - when she was posting about the relief she got from being on an medication to treat her illness.
I saw another post going around tumblr that said something along the line of “you control your thoughts, why not choose to have happy thoughts” which again was shot down as “nuerotypical” but while you don’t have control over what thoughts come into your mind, you absolutely can and should choose to have happy thoughts. In DBT we call this “positive self talk”.
I’m in DBT to help treat PTSD stemming from child abuse. The abuse and abandonment I experienced destroyed my self esteem and created a lot of anxiety over upsetting other people. DBT has taught me to recognize when my thoughts are distorting realty ‘no one likes you’ and answer back ‘plenty of people like you, you don’t need everyone to like you, especially if the relationship doesn’t make you happy’, to respond to the thought ‘I’m so worthless’ with ‘you’re really great and have accomplished something’
And it’s not easy to challenge your thoughts, it’s a skill that’s learned and it’s hard to force yourself to think something that doesn’t seem authentic or even seems wrong to think - it’s hard to be encouraging towards yourself when you hate yourself - but you force yourself to be aware of your thoughts and push back when you fall into unhealthy patterns
That isn’t “so neurotypical” that’s recovery.
Not shaming mental illness doesn’t mean shaming RECOVERY.
Pro-Recovery isn’t anti-disability.
Do not shame healthy behaviors as “neurotypical”.
Learning healthy behaviors and taking steps to treat mental illness and disorders including taking medication if that’s what works for you is important. You shouldn’t be ashamed if you have mental illness, but you shouldn’t say ‘well I’m not neurotypical therefor I can’t do anything to get better’ - while there is no cure for mental illness, there is a lot you can do to get better, to function better, to manage your mental illness and be safer, happier, and healthier for it.
(Source: dbttiger, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.
In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.
And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.
And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.
And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.
And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.
And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him.
And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.
And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.
-16 year old girl
Did I reblog this already I dont care
(via lathori)
*slams fists on table* more explicitly bisexual characters
(via lathori)
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man fuck your shower/sink fandom
I present to you
the staircase fandom
K SO THIS ONE IS LIKE A FUKEN TREE RIGHT
IF YOU DONT THINK THIS IS THE DOPEST SHIT, GET OUT OF MY FACE NOW
PHYSICS
THIS ONES MADE OUT OF SKATEBOARDS, YA KNOW, IF YOU’RE INTO THAT
STRIPPER STIARCASE POLE O K AND TBH ITS RLLY PRETTY
I LIKE THE SPIRALY ONES
HOMO SEX U ALI TY
K THIS ONE IS A STAIRCASE, AND A SLIDE
MOTHER
FUCKING
STAIRCASES
only 13 people in the staircase fandom? I neeD AN ARMY
I would be very afraid of some. I would go down on my ass and slide them slowly down xD kukkiisart
Omg yes. I like the one with the buit-in slide. That’s safe ♥♥♥
(via dyinghistoric)
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