Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Sep 28
“College kids are the absolute last people you want to mug. They’re in peak physical condition, they have no money, and most of them have such a twisted view on the value of life they would rather you shoot them than give you the $4.37 in change at the bottom of their book bag.”
— ztejas (via bl-ossomed)
please consider the fact that steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america probably got the bulk of his sex education from a pack of chorus girls
and like obviously you could jump to the conclusion that he had a bunch of educational sex romps with a harem of hot young ladies but if you have ever hung out with a pack of women for any significant length of time you will probably have observed them discuss every single facet of every single sexual encounter with every single romantic partner with one another, while cackling.
steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america sitting at the very end of the makeup trailer, meekly brushing a chorus girl’s hair, as six other girls share a bottle of gin and compare the median dick length of hook-ups in the west coast vs the east and how that might correlate with willingness to give head and a seventh girl keeps making lesbian jokes
steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america realizing all of bucky’s romantic ‘conquests’ probably went straight back to their friends and reported on his performance and suddenly being really glad he’s a virgin
steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america on one of his sadness errands goes to visit the last chorus girl in her nursing home and she’s like ninety and hooked up to a wheely oxygen tank and knitting some baby booties for her great-grandkid and she asks him right there in front of all the cameras, ‘you found a nice young man to pop that cherry of yours yet, rogers?’ and he goes ‘i’m waiting till you die, ethel, the last thing i need is another lecture on the clap’
the morning after sam and steve do it, steve resignedly answers his cellphone to the dulcet tones of a cackling ninety year old woman with a lecture for him on the clap.
okay not shanghai and derail your shippy post but i need to shanghai and derail your shippy post for a minute bc i’m so in love with the original concept here of steve rogers spending a fair amount of time being surrounded by thirty gossiping women and he hears all about the times their asses have been pinched, and the cat calls they’ve gotten on the streets, and that one creep in the bar that just wouldn’t leave the one of them alone and so steve rogers learns the difference between a woman flirting and a woman politely saying no and this is how he learns to respectfully take rejection
and steve rogers listening to 30 women talk about menstruation like it’s the weather and he finds himself learning about the symptoms and exactly how bad they can be and steve rogers starts getting hot water bottles for the women who are cramping so bad they’re having trouble getting out of the chair and he does it without being asked or told he just knows now
and steve rogers learning about the intricacies involved in the world of the female experience and learns that women are people in way there’s no going back from and so he no longer has the capacity to see them as things like sex objects or super spies and that’s why nat can let her guard down around him and be a bestie because for once someone sees her as a fucking person
