if you ever try to befriend me and you expect to be in frequent contact with me i am so sorry. i do that with maybe two people and even then i often go days or weeks without saying anything before talking daily for a while.
the point is if we dont talk that doesnt mean i dont like u and think about u a lot im just terrible at maintaining close relationships
when did tumblr collectively decide not to use punctuation like when did this happen why is this a thing
it just looks so smooth I mean look at this sentence flow like a jungle river
ACTUALLY
This is really exciting, linguistically speaking.
Because it’s not true that Tumblr never uses punctuation. But it is true that lack of punctuation has become, itself, a form of punctuation. On Tumblr the lack of punctuation in multisentence-long posts creates the function of rhetorical speech, or speech that is not intended to have an answer, usually in the form of a question. Consider the following two potential posts. Each individual line should be taken as a post:
ugh is there any particular reason people at work have to take these massive handfuls of sauce packets they know they’re not going to use like god put that back we have to pay for that stuff
Ugh. Is there any particular reason people at work have to take these massive handfuls of sauce packets they know they’re not going to use? Like god, put that back. We have to pay for that stuff.
In your head, those two potential posts sound totally different. In the first one I’m ranting about work, and this requires no answer. The second may actually engage you to give an answer about hoarding sauce packets. And if you answer the first post, you will likely do so in the same style.
Here’s what makes this exciting: the English language has no actual punctuation for rhetorical speech–that is, there are no special marks that specifically indicate “this speech is in the abstract, and requires no answer.” Not only that, it never has. The first written record of English (actually proto-English, predating even Old English) dates to the 400s CE, so we’re talking about 1600 years of having absolutely no marker whatsoever for rhetorical speech.
A group of teens and young adults on a blogging website literally reshaped a deficit a millennium and a half old in our language to fit their language needs. More! This group has agreed on a more or less universal standard for these new rules, which fits the definition of “language.” Which is to say Tumblr English is its own actual, real, separate dialect of the English language, and because it is spoken by people worldwide who have introduced concepts from their own languages into it, it may qualify as a written form of pidgin.
Tumblr English should literally be treated as its own language, because it does not follow the rules of any form of formal written English, and yet it does have its own consistent internal rules. If you don’t think that’s cool as fuck then I don’t even know what to tell you.
Tumblr English isn’t quite different enough to be its own language [yet? maybe give it a hundred years], but it’s absolutely a dialect. What’s interesting, though, is that it’s a written dialect. Along with all the various specialised and slang terms and usages, Tumblr English has its own grammatical and stylistic quirks that only show up in how punctuation and capitalisation is used.
Up until very recently, nearly all written English was assumed to be either formal English or a record of colloquial spoken English, and it’s only with the advent of the internet that written English is developing separately from spoken English as its own form of the language.
Sure, people communicated casually via written English before the internet, but not to the same extent. I have friends with whom I use written English exclusively, and so instead of written language being a stand-in for or transcription of the speech we’d normally use, it is the speech we normally use. I think this says something really interesting about languageb – language isn’t necessarily as dependant on sound as a lot of people might assume (I’m sure there’re some really interesting parallels to be made between internet written English and various sign languages, but I don’t speak any sign languages so I’m not in a position to really see them).
HEY KIDS. So, I’m a makeup artist, but I’m also a feminist and a vegetarian and an animal lover, so sometimes it’s hard to find beauty products that don’t make me cry inside. Well GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. There’s an incredible cosmetic company called Colourpop that is just like, the most beautiful shit in the world.
They sell the most AMAZING creamy mousse (WATERPROOF!!) eyeshadows that will set as a super beautiful glittery sparkly magical shadow, but will also blend out like a regular powder shadow. (They have matte shades too but their glittery and metallic shades are THE SHIT) They also have INCREDIBLE lipsticks, lipliners, highlighters, bronzers, blushes, and liquid lipsticks. They’re all cruelty-free, made in the USA, and most of them are vegan. (There’s a list of the non-vegan products in their FAQ.) And wait for this, because it’s almost too good to be true:
NOTHING THEY SELL COSTS MORE THAN 10 DOLLARS.
TEN. DOLLARS.
Their lipsticks, lipliners, and eyeshadows are all only 5 DOLLARS EACH. It’s honestly the most radical shit. And then to top all of this unbelievable beauty off, they show all their swatches and ads with REAL WOMEN OF COLOR, so you can see what their products will look like on people who aren’t just pale white women.
I honestly can’t recommend this brand enough. They’re so incredible and when I got my package, I even got a little handwritten note. Everything is reeeeally high quality. Their products are all as good as the $60 shit you find at sephora, only it’s cheap, cruelty-free, and made in the USA. What more could you want, honestly?
Back in the 1960s, the U.S. started vaccinating kids for measles. As expected, children stopped getting measles.
But something else happened.
Childhood deaths from all infectious diseases plummeted. Even deaths from diseases like pneumonia and diarrhea were cut by half.
“So it’s really been a mystery — why do children stop dying at such high rates from all these different infections following introduction of the measles vaccine,” says Michael Mina, a postdoc in biology at Princeton University and a medical student at Emory University.
Using computer models, they found that the number of measles cases in these countries predicted the number of deaths from other infections two to three years later.
“We found measles predisposes children to all other infectious diseases for up to a few years,” Mina says.
And the virus seems to do it in a sneaky way.
Like many viruses, measles is known to suppress the immune system for a few weeks after an infection. But previous studies in monkeys have suggested that measles takes this suppression to a whole new level: It erases immune protection to other diseases, Mina says.
What men don’t understand is that women are FIERCELY PROTECTIVE of underage girls because we remember when we were young and some adult man made us uncomfortable or manipulated us or was inappropriate with us and we were powerless.
That other post seems to be for people with money. But you don’t have money. So what do you actually need for your first apartment?
A bed. Not an air mattress. Not a blanket fort. Not a mattress pad with a fitted sheet over it. An actual bed. You’re going to try to avoid it, especially if you live in a city where bed bugs mean not buying a mattress from Craigslist. Beds cost money (unless you can take the one from your childhood bedroom, in which case, do that and use the couch when you visit home). But fuck it, you need one. If you’re desperate, you might go with a futon, but the futon you can afford will break with the quickness. You might also go with a mattress on the floor, which seems like a good idea until it suddenly seems really dirty, which is because mattresses need air flow to stay dry and sanitary. If you don’t have a box spring and don’t want to drop the $40 on a cheap bed frame, you can use these guys to build a platform, and if you find plastic drawers the same height, you can even build some storage in there.
A dresser. You will try to find a way around this. It will end up with your floor covered in clothes within a week. Just find a dresser on Craigslist or go to your local auction (a great place to find cheap furniture in general). And don’t buy a cheap dresser to build yourself from K-Mart or Wal-Mart, because it will break and it will likely be more expensive than a Craigslist/auction dresser anyway.
A TV. It doesn’t have to be new or huge or advanced. But you want a TV. Don’t try to skip the TV for something more trivial. You’ll regret that quick.
A couch. Specifically, an old, comfortable couch. One you don’t mind falling asleep on or letting guests sleep on. Don’t spend a lot of money. Couches will find you. Don’t overthink it. It’s your first apartment. Nobody expects you to have a perfectly curated adult home. Just get a comfy fucking couch. And if you get two, you can use cinder blocks to make stadium seating in your living room!
A table. You will ruin it, so get a shitty one. Learn your lessons on something cheap and disposable.
A full(ish) kitchen set. If these things don’t appear from your parents or your roommates’ parents, you need to buy a pot and pan set, silverware, a silverware organizer, at least one sharp knife (and let’s be honest, you’re gonna want a knife block and they’re only like $11), at least one mixing bowl, a colander, a cutting board, a couple of storage containers, plates, bowls, glasses, and mugs. You’ll figure out what else you need as you need it, based on your own kitchen habits. A lot of this can be picked up at the dollar store if you have one near you. And if you don’t bake often, disposable baking pans are your friend.
Hand soap, dish soap, wash-your-ass soap. Nobody likes poor hygiene. You also need toothpaste and floss. And deodorant.
Flashlight and candles (nothing fancy). In case something goes wrong.
A plunger. In case something goes really wrong.
A toilet brush. Your momma probably never let the toilet form rings (or let you let that happen), so it might come as a shock how quickly and easily those shits form.
A shower curtain and liner. Or even just the liner. Don’t get the floor wet.
Sponges. You have no idea how many sponges you’ll need.
The rest, you’ll stack over time, but these are the things you need.
Thrift shops and charity shops may have silverware and pots and pans for cheap, as well as furniture, sheets, etc.
When buying used furniture: look in the cracks and under the edges for pin-sized brown/black spots. Bedbugs are tiny and they live in upholstery and any wood with enough crevices to allow it. You almost certainly won’t be able to see the bugs themselves, but they leave little spotted trails along seams and in places that don’t see a lot of light. You cannot get them out of furniture; it’s not worth the extreme measures it takes to do it.
Also, don’t forget laundry detergent and a rubbish bin and bin liners. Rubbish, laundry, and dirty dishes are 90% of the mess in a messy home and 99% of bad smells. Keep up with them and your home will always be at least clean-ish.
Oh, and bleach is a good cheap substitute if you can’t afford specific cleaners for your toilet, tub, vinyl counters/floor, etc., but test it on a small spot to make sure what you’re cleaning can handle it, dilute the fuck out of it, and never use it on wood or mixed with dish liquid. Use white vinegar or diluted Pine-sol for mirrors, glass, and sealed wood floors.
For serious, thrift stores and yard sales are the best places to go for lamps and kitchen stuff. My first apartment was full of so-ugly-they’re-awesome goodwill lamps, my sister’s first-apartment silverware, a box of old mugs a lady from church gave my mom and a toaster oven as old as time, no one’s quite sure where it came from.
Pool around from friends, your friends’ parents, jump on yard sales. Like I’ve learned that it’s STILL more worth it to buy wine glasses at yard sales, those fuckers get broken, don’t ever spend more than 50 cents on ‘em.
Also, NETWORK. Tell people you’re moving into your own place and if they know somebody looking to get rid of furniture/kitchen inventory/white goods, to let you know. Sometimes people have relatives who are moving smaller/to retirement communities/passed away - and their house needs to be cleared out. There’s often a lot of practical stuff (fridge, microwave, kitchen ware, furniture) that’s too old to sell and sometimes people are very happy if that stuff can help you out, especially if you can come take a load of it off their hands.
sounds crude but it can be a mutually beneficial thing
i fucking love fanfiction like it literally caters for every need, whether you’re wanting 2k of cute couples snuggling on the sofa, a thing of epic length with an awesome plot or a piece of writing that is literally just pages of your favourite characters banging each other whoever invented fanfiction is my fave
