cinnamonskull:
musicalxtragedy:
bravespidey:
- “HEY STOP! YOU’RE STEALING MY NEIGHBOR’S DOG! WHAT THE FU – oh, they hired a dog walker? hahaha haha.. ha… carry on”
- “i’m in the nurse’s office a lot with migraines and you’re always in here organizing her tongue depressors and i really don’t think you go to this school so what gives”
- “the building manager neglected to tell me the window washers would be coming by today so excuuuuuuse me for thinking that twenty three floors up was high enough that i could dance around in my office without being seen”
- “you’ve been awkwardly inching your way towards the human sexuality section of the bookstore i work at for like fifteen minutes are you looking for something in particular or –?”
- “you and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and i’m really just trying to study over here so i’m gonna put an end to this by winning the game”
- “it’s 2 in the morning and i was just trying to get home but i left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and i drove into a pole – would you please stop laughing you’re a cop. you’re supposed to be helping”
- “my favorite band dropped a new single today and i’ve had it on repeat for seven hours and i can see you judging me but that isn’t going to make me shut it off"
- “hey new neighbor it appears that your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and they’re really jealous and i’m sorry but not really because hellloooooo there”
- “you can’t get tattooed drunk, come back in the morning and if you still want my name on your ass we’ll talk”
HAHAHA THE LAST ONE
Last one was my fave too!
(Source: josighah, via wingedlioness)
Anonymous asked: what's the weirdest thing about university
jerushapendletons:
how nothing is surprising or abnormal
like you can be sitting in your kitchen at 2am eating pasta sauce out of a jar with a spoon and the only thing you think is “this is really tasty i wonder what it would be like spread on toast”
or going into the library and seeing someone sat at a computer wrapped in a duvet and thinking “that’s a genius idea”
or seeing someone sitting in a lecture with a 2 pint bottle of milk just swigging from it and just being jealous
literally anything goes. no one is gonna question your habits bc guaranteed they will have done something equally bizarre