I don’t get how some mothers can say “i don’t care the gender as long as the baby’s healthy i will love them” before going into labour for 8+ hours then 17 years later kick their daughter Jessica out of the house because she was born a Justin.
omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon
and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there
and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza
and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door
so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens
What I love about Wilson Fisk is that when Vanessa initially rejects him, and then later says she doesn’t know if she wants to see him again, he respects that and is like alright if you’re not interested I’ll just get on with my business and he doesn’t push her into anything so I guess the takeaway is if a man who bashes peoples heads off with car doors treats women better that you do, you need to rethink some things in your life
In about four days of existing this post has gained more notes than I have followers. There have been some pretty interesting tags and comments so far:
My favorite thing, though, is people including the names of their stuffed animals:
“i just got turned into an incubus or a succubus and i’m like the least smooth and most self-conscious person on the planet so i’m literally starving because i don’t know how to seduce people” AU. BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE A VIRGIN.
“i’m a siren and i keep accidentally forgetting that i have roommates now and and end up putting them in my thrall when i’m singing taylor swift songs in the shower” AU
“i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn” AU
“i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO” AU
“i’m a med student who has a huge crush on the hot guy who works at the coffee shop who always gives me free drinks when i’m stressed and calls me princess even though i pretend i think it’s annoying but i’m extremely concerned about him because he always smells like smoke so i always give him lectures about how terrible cigarettes are for you and i may have made a powerpoint which is probably excessive but lung health is extremely important and oops it turns out he’s part-dragon or something hahahaha oops” AU
“my best friend got turned into a frog and now i’m being the best wingman/woman/person ever by carrying them around to bars and getting hot people to kiss them in hopes of hooking them up with their true love” AU
“i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class” AU
i just saw an ad that was probably supposed to say accident lawyers but it said accidental lawyers and i can’t sotp laughing “just got my law degree aw man this wasn’t what i meant to do how am i gonna get out of this one”
i love this post because my dad literally got his law degree by accident?? he was the first person in his family to go to college and he didn’t understand how majors worked (he thought that it was just like.. if you take a lot of math classes you’re a math major and that it was just a figure of speech) so when it was time for him to declare his he realized he hadn’t actually been working towards any major in particular.
so he went through and looked at the required classes for every major offered at his college to see if the classes he had taken matched with anything, and lo and behold he found a pre-law degree. and he thought, “well ok, i guess being a lawyer doesn’t sound too bad.” and that’s how my dad became a lawyer.
