today at work a man brought a pug in on a leash and that pug was so excited and happy to see me it was as if we were old friends who havent been in contact in 7 years i felt so loved in that moment
today a bassett hound came in and wagged her tail so furiously all of her loose skin started to jiggle and she was so pumped to see me i want more dogs to come into my store they make my life whole and worthwhile
I’m so glad this came back cause a golden retriever named Milly came in today who put her paws on my register counter and wanted to say hi to me and I loved her so much and I scratched her ears and she gave me that classic dopey dog smile
yesterday a girl came in with her boyfriend and in her hand was a tiny tan colored dog that she told me was a chihuahua/pekingese mix and he had a severe underbite and one little canine tooth was poking out and his ears were like bent at the tips and i immediately commented on how amazing he was and she goes omg thanks do you wanna pet him and i was like there is literally nothing more i want to do while being on the clock right now than to pet this incredible tiny dog and he was so sweet and licked my hand and his name was spike
yesterday these people came in and put a blanket into one of our shopping baskets and it started to move and i was like omg whats in there and they set it down on the counter and the blanket kept moving and the suspense was so good like is it gonna be a cat is it gonna be a ferret maybe a lizard and then the smallest chihuahua ive ever seen in my life popped her little head out and licked my finger and i died
A baby german shepherd named Jonathan came in tonight and since i was on the sales floor and not behind a counter i say to the owner omg can i pet this angel and they were like yeah of course and i crouched down and Jonathan ran into my arms and almost tripped over his puppy feet it was 12/10
TODAY a german shepherd named london grabbed one of our lanterns off the shelf and was carrying it around and the owner was like, “london no, we’re not getting that” and gave him the merchandise she was buying instead and he carried it to me and dropped it on the counter at my register and i could have cried
I want everyone to know both London and Jonathan (Jonnie) came in the other day on the same day. Jonnie is much larger since the last time I saw him but still sweet and still acts like a pup, he barked at something in our footwear department. London still likes to carry things and put his paws up on my register to say hello, he carried the insoles his owner bought out the door for her. Also thanks for the notes, it’s nice to see so many people appreciate dogs on here. Another reminder, I see a lot of dogs because I work in a sporting goods store in a strip mall next door to a Petco and we absolutely allow dogs in our store. I live in a mountain town in Colorado and dogs are common here because there are lots of fun outdoor stuff to do with them.
A sheltie in a Petco shopping cart came in yesterday and her name was Sadie and she was so excited to say hi that she jumped out of the cart, onto my register counter, but she missed and Mufasa’d her way to the floor, but she was okay. The owner just let her sit on the counter and she was very well behaved and she gently smelled every item I scanned and also my hand. She was obsessed with her neck being scratched.
today a black lab name paxton came in off leash and he jiggled his way into our back room because the door was open and i yelled He Is Employed! and told his owner that we’d be happy to hire him and then eventually he made his way up to the front by himself and into the register area behind the counter and now he’s my new manager
Also, quick psa: Monday updates will be on hiatus until I’ve finished my Royai Week pieces. I am determined to do all seven prompts this time around, and I think this way I’ll be a lot less stressed :’) Thanks for understanding, guys! <33
if your vaccines work so well shouldn’t you be safe whether i’m vaccinated or not 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Do you not know there is something called herd immunity? That some people who are immunocompromised can’t get vaccinated, that a mutation can make previous vaccines less effective?
And if those aren’t clear enough
It’s fucking measles. I had it, my friends had it and we all lived.
Everyone that I knew when I was young got measles and I never knew anyone that had a problem but we all knew that it was a problem for many people because we were told of deaths and problems by our parents. So when my children were young I made sure they got the vaccine since there was one. Why take such a chance if you do not have to.
But also do not take the attitude that there is no problem because we have not heard about it for decades. They used to quarantine people with measles because it was such a problem.
Yeah it on kills 1-2 for every 1000…so let’s see if no one had their vaccinations, assuming only 50% of the population got infected …that’s only about 250,000 people who are now alive who would be dead. Hell that’s only a quarter of million. Yeah we shouldn’t worry about that.
What kind of brain dead fucking idiot says “I had that disease and lived so you don’t need to worry.”? People survive the plague and cancer too. Should we only worry about preventable diseases with 100% mortality rates? Or just ones that will kill loudmouth morons? Just because fate was cruel and spared one idiot does not mean a disease is not a serious health issue.
Ho-ly shit anti-vaxxers make me so mad.
GET YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN VACCINATED
“Fuck the weak” is what I heard
I wish there was a vaccine for goddamn fucking anti-vaxxer bullshit.
I am not anti or pro. I believe each individual should make their own choices. And I am SO TIRED of seeing all of you behave like a bunch of crazed assholes to those who dare disagree with you. Please point all that energy inwards and work on improving yourselves. I know 1/3 of you smokes cigarettes. And 2/3 of you drink soda. How do you like to be screamed at and be called names for your choices that others consider stupid?
…my drinking soda doesnt really have the potential to kill someone else’s baby????????
And like, it does shit to you even if you are not dead? A friend of mine has hearing loss and nerve damage from measles? What the fuck.
1. I am an adult. I am capable of making informed decisions. Your infant is not. Vaccinate her.
2. My drinking a soda once a month does not spread viruses to my child’s entire school.
3. Fuck you and your self-righteous false equivalency. Vaccinate your children.
The showrunners wanted to add a new scene in which the main character takes advantage of an emotionally vulnerable woman on the day of his wife’s funeral. So, yea, thank god Gaiman stepped in.
Sometimes people like to write things about florist’s shops. Here are two things you need to know, the most egregiously wrong things.
1. It makes no fucking sense to sketch out a bouquet before you make it. Every individual flower is different in a way that cannot really be adjusted the way other building materials can be adjusted, and each individual bouquet is unique. Just put the fucking flowers together.
2. No one — in months and months of working at the flower shop — has ever cared what the flower/color of the flower means. No one’s ever asked. It’s just not something people tend to care about outside of fiction and it’s certainly not something most florists know. You know what florists know? What looks good and is thematically appropriate.
Here’s an actual list of the symbology of flowers, as professionals use it:
Yellow – for friends, hospitals Pink – girls, girlfriends, babies, bridesmaids Red – love Purple – queens White – marriage and death (DO NOT SEND TO HOSPITALS) Pink and purple – ur mum Red, orange, and yellow – ur mum if she’s stylish Red, yellow, blue – dudes and small children Blue and white – rare, probably a wedding Red and white – love for fancy bitches
Here are what the flowers actually mean to a florist:
The Fill It Out flowers:
Carnations – fuck u these are meaningless filler-flowers, not even your administrative assistant likes them, show some creativity Alstroemeria – by and large very similar to carnations but I like them better Tea roses – cute and lil and come several to a stalk, a classy filler flower Moluccella laevis – filler flower but CHOICE Delphinium – not as interesting as moluccella but purple so okay I guess Blue thistle – FUCK YEAH, some fucking textural variety at last! you’re getting this for a dude, aren’t you? Chrysanthemums – barely better than carnations but better is still better Gladiolus – ooh, risky business, someone understands the use of the Y-axis, very good
Focal points:
Long-stem roses – yeah whatever Lilies – LBD, looks good with everything, get used as often as possible Hydrangeas – thirsty fuckers, divas of the flower world and rightly so, treat them right and they make you look good Gerbera daisies – the rose’s hippie cousin, hotter but no one admits it Peonies – CHA-CHING, everybody’s absolute favorite but you need guap Orchids – if this isn’t for a wedding you’re probably trying too hard but they’re expensive so keep ordering them
You know what matters? THE CUSTOMER’S BUDGET. THAT’S TELLING.
-$20 – if you’re not under 12, fuck off, get your sugar something else $30 – good for bouquets but an arrangement will be lame $40 – getting there, there’s something that can be done with that. you can get some gerbs or roses with that and not have them look stupidly solo. $50 to $70 – tolerable $80 – FINALLY. It sounds elitist but this really is the basic amount of money you should expect to spend on an arrangement that matters. That’s your Mother’s Day arrangement. You’re probably not going to spend $80 on a bouquet. $90 to $130 – THE GOOD SHIT, you’re likely to get some orchids $130+ – Weddings and death. This amount of money gets you a memorial arrangement or a handmade bridal bouquet. Don’t spend this on a Mother’s Day or a Babe I Love You arrangement, buy whosits a massage or something.
Miscellaneous:
Everything needs greening and if you don’t think that you’re an idiot.
As a new employee, when you start making arrangements, you can’t see the mistakes you’re making because you’re brand new and you’re learning an art form from the ground up.
With a few exceptions customers don’t have a clear plan in mind. They want you to develop the bouquet for them. They want something that will delight their little sweetbread but you’re lucky if they know that person’s favorite color, let alone flower.
Flower shops don’t typically have every kind of flower in every kind of color. Customers generally aren’t assed about that. Most people don’t care about the precise shade of the rose or having daffodils in July, because they’re not boning up on flower language before they buy. That would imply that they’ve got a clear bouquet in mind and, again, they don’t.
Being a florist is essentially a lot like what I imagine being a mortician is about. You’re basically keeping dead things looking good for as long as possible. You keep the product in the fridge so it doesn’t rot and look horrible by the time the family gets a whack at it, and in the meanwhile you put it in a nice container.
The result of reading possibly too many ‘Humans Are Weird’ stories while also listening to Adam Hills standup
So, two humans from different countries with different languages are both seperately brought onto alien ships somehow.
These two ships come across each other, and open a hailing frequency. In the background, one human is quietly singing to themselves as they work. “Tommy used to work on the doooocks~ Union’s been on strike, he’s down on his luck, so tough~”
And then a voice pipes up from the other end of the hailing frequency. “Gina works the diner all daaay~”
All of a sudden these aliens have their respective humans practically yelling something they’ve never heard before over the frequency in perfect union and synchronicity, despite the impossibility of them having ever met.
The aliens question for a good while if their humans were lying when they said humans do not have a hivemind.
