For every 1,000 bad messages I get on okc, I get one good one.
i love it tbh
Update: he’s my boyfriend now, we’re in love, it’s a whole thing.
BEST. UPDATE. EVER.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Capitol Switchboard: 202 224 3121
Call, they are taking away our health care.
(via ifeelbetterer)
so at the bar in which I work, there’s an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with ‘doorman’, which has led to me befriending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan.
now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the absolute love of my life. I don’t care that he’s a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they’re simply referred to as ‘a character’? that’s Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let’s describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scandinavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
that’s Doorman Dan.
since meeting him last year, I’ve discovered:
- he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said ‘shit happens’ on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM
- he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was completely unaware they had broken up until he wished her a happy Christmas and she responded with ‘what the fuck Dan’
- accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours
- he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off
- he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for ‘mystery adventures’, one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops
- he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: “I’ll know when I meet him.”
- he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him
- his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. “I don’t even know if I’m invited, truth be told.”
- when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn’t want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they’d like a snack
- he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman’s Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he’s patrolling the bar
I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
(via littlestartopaz)
Hamilton Characters as Texts I've Gotten
- Hamilton: Hey are you awake? Why aren't you awake? It's 4:17am wake up
- Burr: My life is just one social faux pas after another.
- Laurens: Ew no hetero tho
- Lafayette: You're so over dramatic and french
- Mulligan: I made my own clothes for 5 years
- Washington: As your father, it's my job to tell you you're acting like a total piece of shit right now.
- Eliza: Ya know we're all trying. Sometimes there's heartbreak, sometimes people eat your food, sometimes death is inevitable, but I'd slaughter your enemies if you asked me to.
- Angelica: Not to psychoanalyze you but you're salty and hide behind your intellect
- Peggy: I am so confused
- Philip: That was some prodigy level poetry. I understand nothing
- Jefferson: Hair perks
- Madison: wow @immune system it's time to function
- Seabury: *sends the Union Jack emoji on The Fourth of July*
- King George III: I'm so sorry I'm terrible, please love me
lathori asked: Star Wars Camelot AU Fucking Go <3 Your Wife
- CLEARLY Finn is King of Camelot, destined ruler of all Albion, hero-king snatched from a training center designed to churn out devoted soldiers for a dangerous faction rising in the wake of the previous wicked king’s demise (Palpatine, obvs)
- Rey is his queen and court enchanter, and Finn met her after being separated from his guardsan attack by bandits—she whomped him good with a staff and threw him into a lake with magic. Naturally, he brought her back to his citadel and was like “This is our new court enchanter, she used to be a feral mountain child” and within a few months everyone went “Hey Finn what if you got married” and he went “Sounds great, meet your new queen!” And everyone was EITHER really delighted OR completely horrified. They’re a kickass couple and Rey is really good with seeing possible lines of influence and Finn is actually a killer diplomat and basically they rock.
- With the help of their Most Loyal and Trusted Knight, who would DIE for his king, especially since Finn swooped in and saved him when his quest went horribly awry in the process of booking it from the First Order. Obviously this is the adopted son of the Lady of the Lake, Sir Poe Dameron (du Lac)…
- You see where I’m going with this.
do you have “caffeine helps me focus” ADHD or “caffeine makes me Vibrate™” ADHD
(via kiwisoap)
- Me after focusing on something like the bare minimum amount for a neurotypical person: "I dunno maybe im not really adhd"
- Me being left alone in the doctors office for 30 minutes: *dicks around with medical supplies and rubber gloves, spins in the spinny chair, plays the Floor is Lava game, breaks a pen*
- Me: "hmm. Maybe i was wrong."
This article describes how to knit with scales! Perfect to make yourself a set of gauntlets. http://dlvr.it/M9qjtq
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
my name is Scribe
and wen its brite
with pen and inke
i sit and write
(in rede and blewe
and gold that glemes)
with carful handes
i gild the memes._______________
Someone who doesn’t even have a Tumblr submitted this to me. It is glorious.
(via fireflyca)
i cant decide what i love more: the fact that tom did this, or all the articles covering it.
(via ifeelbetterer)
