Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

seiya234:

boatsxheauxs:

gingerbreadtraphouse:

thaunderground:

I nominate msjwilly as new Daily Show host

all those that agree say “I”

I!

All opposed say “nay.”
*crickets*

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

bisexualengineerscott:

jeza-red:

oak23:

So Fifty Shades of Grey is being advertised on bus stops and other public areas where children can see it but lord forbid if you depict a healthy gay relationship in any form of media that children might not even see because it’ll be warping kids

bro, I bought a LAUNDRY DETERGENT with a 50SoG ad on it….what is the world??

#heterosexual abuse is more acceptable than homosexual love and that’s a problem (via walrus-queen)

(via inkandash)

joseph-the-mop-blog asked: I have been trying to write for a while now. I have all these amazing ideas, but its really hard getting my thoughts onto paper. Thus, my ideas never really come to fruition. Do you have any advice?

neil-gaiman:

Write the ideas down. If they are going to be stories, try and tell the stories you would like to read. Finish the things you start to write. Do it a lot and you will be a writer. The only way to do it is to do it. 

I’m just kidding. There are much easier ways of doing it. For example: On the top of a distant mountain there grows a tree with silver leaves. Once every year, at dawn on April 30th, this tree blossoms, with five flowers, and over the next hour each blossom becomes a berry, first a green berry, then black, then golden.

At the moment the five berries become golden, five white crows, who have been waiting on the mountain, and which you will have mistaken for snow, will swoop down on the tree, greedily stripping it of all its berries, and will fly off, laughing.

You must catch, with your bare hands, the smallest of the crows, and you must force it to give up the berry (the crows do not swallow the berries. They carry them far across the ocean, to an enchanter’s garden, to drop, one by one, into the mouth of his daughter, who will wake from her enchanted sleep only when a thousand such berries have been fed to her). When you have obtained the golden berry, you must place it under your tongue, and return directly to your home.

For the next week, you must speak to no-one, not even your loved ones or a highway patrol officer stopping you for speeding. Say nothing. Do not sleep. Let the berry sit beneath your tongue.

At midnight on the seventh day you must go to the highest place in your town (it is common to climb on roofs for this step) and, with the berry safely beneath your tongue, recite the whole of Fox in Socks. Do not let the berry slip from your tongue. Do not miss out any of the poem, or skip any of the bits of the Muddle Puddle Tweetle Poodle Beetle Noodle Bottle Paddle Battle.

Then, and only then, can you swallow the berry. You must return home as quickly as you can, for you have only half an hour at most before you fall into a deep sleep.

When you wake in the morning, you will be able to get your thoughts and ideas down onto the paper, and you will be a writer. 

gryffindorconsultingtimelord:

lumos5001:

skyfallat221b:

pincho32:

lizthefangirl:

but when you hear a line in a movie/tv show dIREctLY frOM tHE bOOk

When the way they say the line is completely wrong

and the HP fandom never forgave and it never forgot

And we never have and we never will.

(via gryffindorconsultingtimelord)

yang-xiao-lin:

mistermetropolis:

“how did the human race survive for 200,000 years without vaccines?” by reproducing early and dying young have fun churning your butter

Gratuitous amounts of inbreeding and not naming their children until they were at least 1 year old to avoid becoming attached to them just in case they caught whooping cough, mono, measles, mumps, polio, the plague, scarlet fever, yellow fever, west nile virus, or the common fucking cold and died

(Source: fearlessnewromantic, via history-jokes)