Anonymous asked: how did u beat all ten dragons??
ok, so first, you bring dorian, cassandra, and your choice of rogue. if you’re a mage.
if youre a rogue, bring cassandra dorian and maybe another mage or rogue???? a ranged rogue if u are not
if u r a warrior, bring cassandra, u, maybe varric/sera?? and dorian.
okay, then just go full rambo on it. no mercy and when youre about to die, you say its a good day to die hard, and you just keep hitting the shit out of it’s arm so it limps around like it stubbed its toe
ok and then you will die.
you will die, regardless of class, but one will remain
cassandra
im being 100% fucking serious cassandra will not die. u can take all the vitamin gummies u want it doesnt fucking matter, because you will die, but she eat nails for breakfast she will survive
cassandra will fucking wrap a blood-soaked bandage around her head, and use dragon’s blood as her war paint and scream every five seconds and have her guard all the way up and she will scowl and glare the dragon to death
and youre probably thinking, “ok, but the dragon is at half health or ¾ health, jo, there is no fuckin way”
ok first off, dont talk back to me, second off, cassandra pentaghast comes from a hardass family of unforgiving dragon hunters who bathe in dragon blood prbably and im half-convinced cassandra has found the key to immortality bc she does not die. i s2g she has killed over half of the dragons i faced all by her goddamn self and i dont hear a single word of it later, she just shrugs cause MAYBE she got a splinter in her finger, but she literally doesnt give a fuck, if that dragon bites her she will bite it back, she doesnt care she will climb that dragon and stab her sword confidently into it like she is claiming a goddamn logging stand and she will not give half a shit
Little Dorian Things People Seem To Forget Vol 1
- Dorian’s intro scene is him beating demons to death with a stick. At some point he must have run out of mana and decided to channel his inner Bruce Lee and successfully bludgeon at least two demons to death before the Inquisitor arrived
- Dorian masks honesty and insecurity with layer upon layer of snark, sarcasm, and faux-arrogance. He’s like an everlasting gobstopper of adequacy issues.
- His fashion sense is leagues different than Orlesian/Ferelden fashions (for god’s sake his casual attire is a brown leather jumpsuit with one shoulder left uncovered. just one)
- Underneath his layers of sarcasm and irony there is a doe-eyed idealist that rivals Cassandra Pentaghast who looks at generations of slavery and death in Tevinter and thinks “Yeah this is worth saving”
- Dorian considers himself to be Andrastian though not in either the Tevinter sense or the Orlesian sense
(via siriusdraws)
After Dragon Age 2, the entire fandom shouted in one voice -
“GODDAMMIT, ANDERS!”
After Dragon Age Inquisition/Trespasser, the entire fandom shouted in one voice-
“GODDAMMIT, SOLAS!”
Congratulations, Anders. You are no longer the king of “I fucked up”; that crown has been passed onto a much more experienced, much balder head.
(via amusewithaview)
You know you grew up on Steve Irwin when you see a photo of a crocodile and think, “Wow. Just beautiful.”
And you see Stingrays as the devil themselves
nah man Steve would have forgiven that stingray and absolved it of its sins
He would have apologized for getting into the stingray’s space and making it afraid.
He actually did! Some of Steve Irwin’s last words were, “it wasn’t his fault. I startled him.”
He actually did forgive the stingray. He knew that he had scared it, and that it was only acting to protect itself.
If you put your ear up to a seashell you can hear the sound of mY HEART BREAKING INTO A THOUSAND LITTLE PIECES
This is why I get so mad whenever my folks have Animal Planet on lately and it’s all about WHAT ANIMALS ARE GOING TO MURDER YOU IN YOUR FACE?
EXOTIC PETS RIP OWNER TO SHREDS!
SNAKES! WILL THEY EAT YOU? (YES)
Steve Irwin (and at the time at least his contemporary follow-behind Jeff Corwin) ushered in such a pure unbridled LOVE of exotic, ferocious, terrifying animals. He respected the animals so much, he loved them.
Yes, crocs would charge and snakes would lunge, but he would respect when the animal deemed its boundaries well crossed and let it go back on its merry reptilian way.
This was the Tone for my childhood. My education of wild animals was Steve Irwin talking about how beautiful this deadly crocodile was, how majestic and chill and peaceful coexistence could be.
It was Jeff Corwin screaming and yelling at people at the discovery of a snake carcass, killed because of ignorant fear of it. It was harmless, and lost, and scared, and decapitated and he was livid. Why? Why would you do that? It was non-venomous, it didn’t want to be where it was any more than you wanted it to be where it was – why didn’t you call someone to release it?
And now it’s just… “Everything is murderous and animals will eat your face and everything is Ruthless Killing Machines”
and just.
I feel like I’m watching my own father’s work be tainted whenever AP is on. It’s so upsetting.Because education and understanding don’t sell ad time.
Also why so much of Shark Week has become LET’S PISS THIS THING OFF TILL IT TRIES TO BITE US. “GREAT WHITES ARE MINDLESS KILLING MACHINES AND THEY WANT TO EAT YOU PERSONALLY, SUSAN.” is a lot more ‘exciting’ than “These things are gigantic and they feel with their very sharp mouths but they don’t actually mean anything by it they just don’t know what you are (also you taste nasty to them get over yourself.)”
(via lupinatic)
u know what … i changed my mind… all u scientists out there who worked ur butts off just to have your research purposefully ignored by the government… do your science thing and bring back the dinosaurs… catch them ignoring you when a velociraptor is our next president…. like ding dong what’s that? it’s science, it doesn’t care about your silly ignorant opinion… it’s back with a vengeance… and it’s hungry, bitch
I hadn’t considered Jurassic Park as a solution to the Dump Truck presidency but I’ll take it
(Source: inkskinned, via slyrider)
amusewithaview asked: PLEASE KEEP STORMING MY TAGS YOU'RE REMINDING ME OF ALL SORTS OF AWESOME STUFF
GOSH
WHAT A HARDSHIP
HOWEVER SHALL I GO ON
*sinks ever deeper into pile of Dragon Age posts*
welp, i know how i’m spending my sunday
I LAUGHED OUT LOUD
Me too.
But it’s so fucking ridiculous. The etiquette rules are: The person who arrives at the door first holds it open for the person who arrived second. A younger or more able-bodied person always holds the door for someone who is elderly or disabled. Someone with free hands should hold the door for someone whose hands are full carrying things. If you’re alone, you should always glance behind you and make sure there’s no one there so you don’t let a door slam in someone’s face out of obliviousness. You should always nod and smile at someone holding a door for you, and vice versa.
Gender has JACK SHIT to do with the real etiquette.
Yeah I thought those were the rules!?
Sure, but these men have to ignore those rules so they can maintain the self-delusion that they’re holding doors open not as a common courtesy but as noble act of imagined chivalry.
I was never taught those rules, but they’re exactly what I always do. It feels almost self evident? Politeness costs you nothing, and I’ve found a kind word and a little help like that can really brighten someone’s day, especially an older person.
Fellow part time dress wearing people: If you’ve never held a door open for a middle aged suit-and-briefcase man with his hands full, while wearing a flowery summer dress, heels, makeup, and a huge smile, you are missing out.
Because in my experience, suit man will either be entirely freaked out by your ability to hold doors despite suffering from delicate femininity™ and you get a giggle, or he’ll be grateful and smile because someone held the door for him. Either way, good times.
(via johanirae)
