to all of my underage followers with shitty parents:
i am your parent now. i love you, you are valid, i’m making lasagna for dinner and your bedtimes are never
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Reading about Alexander the Great is so much more fun if you add ‘no homo’ to the end of his gayest exploits:
- “yo, hephaestion, you know who was totally rad? achilles. i’m gonna constantly publicly compare myself to him, so you should totally do the same with his bud…
(Source: sob-dylan, via goblinbutch)
If someone says dont touch me, please dont
- laugh and obnoxiously say “Touch. Touch.” While poking them
- put your arm around their shoulders/grab their arm
- say “why are you so sensitive? jeez, touchy!”
- keep touching them in any way shape or form
Please do
- remove your body part from their body part unless you wish for your body part to be ripped the fuck off
(Source: over-yandere, via bleedingwillow96)
“Pre-code Hollywood. For five sexy and fun-filled years - beginning in 1929, movies were glamorous, sophisticated and startlingly frank. Women dominated the box office. On screen they took lovers, had babies out of wedlock, explored their sexuality, got rid of cheating husbands, and held down professional positions without apologizing.”
(via bleedingwillow96)
The strongest ‘pound for pound’ muscle is the uterus: it weighs around 2 pounds but during childbirth can exert a downward force of 400 Newtons, which is one hundred times as strong as gravity and equivalent to the power in a fully extended modern longbow.
Gentlemen.
A FULLY EXTENDED MODERN LONGBOW GEE GREAT THANKS NOW ALL I SEE IS A WOMAN FIRING A FUCKING BABY OUT OF HER UTERUS AT AN ARCHERY TARGET
(via bleedingwillow96)
it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”
#don’t ever fake an orgasm let them know they disappointed you
(Source: pussylipsmackingood, via bleedingwillow96)
WHO SAID IT WAS OK TO POST SOMETHING THIS HORRIBLE!??!??
My first reaction was ‘Nice thought but there’s no way, Coulson is much younger than…’ and then I stopped mid-thought.
Because you know what.
You know what.
After Steve, the US government had to keep trying to recreate the Super-Soldier Serum.
And who
and who
would be the FIRST DAMN PERSON IN LINE to volunteer?
They told us it never worked again. And that was kind of true. They never again recreated the super-strength or the gleaming pecs. But other things, they got right. They got the vastly delayed aging. And the kind of reflexes that make a man able to take out two armed thugs with a bag of flour. And the talent for leading through example. And they got the most important part, Erskine’s favorite part: the magnification of moral fiber, taking the loyalty and selflessness of a loyal and selfless man and making him into something spectacular.
Coulson didn’t buy those vintage cards on Ebay.
He’s had them since he was a little boy.
That little boy right there.
reblog so fast I think I broke something
(Source: thisispawnee, via winjennster)
Damn, this girl was prepared.
She learned from experience. That look on her face is one who found out all of Jack-Jack’s powers through trial by fire.
The REAL hero of this movie. The normal girl who didn’t let the all-powerful baby die or burn the house down.
(via anacfranco)
i like to think mulan’s war buddies thought ping was gay and just didn’t say anythign cuz they were cool with it a girl who’s got a brain and always speaks her mind? lol ping you’re so gay it’s okay everyone’s a little gay for shang we think he likes you btw
Let’s be honest, they were all a little gay for Shang.
Anyone who isn’t at least a little into Shang is either:
1) asexual, or
2) a lying liar who lies.
(Source: anightmarefantasmic, via thepainofthesass)
