(Source: rosamund-pike, via goblinbutch)
Since Johanna Mason was the only living female victor of 7 for the Quell, I would like to think that when they called up “Ladies first” she just stomped over, grabbed the piece of paper herself and shouted “GEE I WONDER WHO THE FUCK IT COULD BE? HOLY FUCK BALLS IT’S ME I’M SO SHOCKED” and the Peacekeepers have to drag her away from the microphone
(Source: thebackofthelouvre, via n-haught)
i love how potato in french is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”
like what stupid frenchman saw this:
and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”
That is exactly what happened.
*AGGRESSIVELY FORWARDS TO EVERY GUY I KNOW*
*TIME TRAVELS AND AGGRESSIVELY FORWARDS TO PAST SELF*
“You’re supposed to be nice to people, you don’t get a cookie for doing stuff that you should be doing anyway.”
*aggressively applauds this guy’s life*
(via starwarsisgay)
There’s 15 days until 2015 and I still don’t understand how 10 years ago isn’t the 1990s.
In 15 days, 2030 will be as far away as 2000.
WHAT
WHAT THE HELL, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS.
(Source: dontyouauntkathyme, via allephant)
"
Guys, if you can’t fathom why women hate being catcalled, just think about those obnoxious salesmen at mall kiosks. You know how awkward and annoyed you feel trying to get by them as they desperately try to push their shitty product on you?
Imagine if that happened EVERYWHERE, and if - instead of shoe cleaner - their product was DICK.
That’s a woman’s reality: a never-ending, thinly veiled penis infomercial. Moral reasons aside, you shouldn’t catcall simply because it doesn’t work. From an economic standpoint, dick is over-saturating the marketplace. Supply and demand. Too many guys are trying to supply dick. Droves of desperate dudes are drastically decreasing dick demand, detrimenting distribution.
Simply put: The Cock Market is an all time low.
The reason vagina is such a valuable commodity is because it’s harder to come by. You can’t just get it through a hole in the wall at a truck stop bathroom. You want your product to sell, you have to create a need.
In everyone’s best interest, gentlemen, treat your dicks like the McRib. Periodically take them off the market. Give consumers a chance to miss them and forget how gross they really are.
"—
Nat Baimel (@NatBaimel)
I died ten times reading this.
(via absentlyabbie)
this is such a great way to explain it to guys who don’t get why women don’t want to say hello to them or get hostile when they do. THEY avoid the kiosk salesmen when they say, “Hello!” just as much. That sales person could just be friendly and might not go on about it, but you don’t know and you don’t want to chance it.
(via robotsandfrippary)
(Source: thewinterotter, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
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i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”
it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud
(via starwarsisgay)
