murphels:

it must be really sad for chris evans when he finds a nice shirt that fits him really well but then he accidentally flexes his mammoth fucking biceps and hopelessly rips the sleeves into a thousand pieces, which i assume happens at least three times a week

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

royymustang:
“ #aRE THOSE ED’S DRAWINGS#DID THEY SERIOUSLY HANG UP ED’S DUMB DRAWINGS OF THE HOMUNCULI#LIKE SOME DOTING PARENTS HANGING THEIR TODDLER’S ART ON THE FRIDGE#I’M#IT’S LIEK THE TEAM IS A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY AND INSTEAD OF KIDS THEY HAVE A...

smitethepatriarchy:

pileofmonkeys:

I have waited tables. I’ve worked in bars. You know who tips well? The working poor, the lower middle class, and people who work or have worked in service industries. You know who tips shitty or not at all? Rich people, upper middle class people, and privileged fuckers who use their “moral opposition” to tipping to be cheap assholes. 

I’ve worked at a casino and as a delivery driver. This is 100% accurate.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

geometricdeathtrap:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

rachellephant:

tips to write college papers 

  • begin with “buckle your seatbelts, motherfuckers, because in eight short pages i am going to learn u a thing that i only learned myself about two hours ago, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy the experience of my 4-am-redbull-induced-self-hatred-fuelled-writing-extravaganza”
  • erase when finished with the paper

BUT THIS ACTUALLY WORKS

MAKE SURE YOU ERASE IT THOUGH

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

  • Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
  • Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
  • Guy: Well...yeah.
  • Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

windypenguin:

tuiteyfruityundead:

i-like-the-tuna-here:

America, you do not exist in a vacuum.
Gun control works.
Higher minimum wage works.
Free health care works.
Free higher education works.

we know

too bad the government doesn’t

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

xfaults:

xfaults:

there’s a website called avoidhumans.com that can let you look up local public places that aren’t crowded.

just reposting for any of my followers who haven’t seen this! i love you all

(Source: axolotl66, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

staceythinx:

Science-inspired necklaces from the Delftia Etsy store

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

miikachu:

onlylolgifs:

High Five New York

See? Now this is a prank. Something silly and good intentioned and actually funny. Not groping poor, unsuspecting girls.

(Source: lolgifs.net, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

commander-twilight-sparkle:

badassrosetyler:

runrosetyler:

direwolves:

dying can wait.

#Awh look it’s Team TARDIS together again #Okay well kind of#One regenerated into a cute little puppy #One’s possessed by a bitchy trampoline #And the last is billions of years old and just a giant face#STILL #OT3 for life 

THAT TAG^

In truth, the whole “dying can wait” bit was written in at the last minute because Russell T. Davies wasn’t sure Doctor Who had been renewed for a third series yet.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)