FILED UNDER: JOKES I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AS A CHILD
they were talking about his height
They had not met him yet. This was a penis joke.
(via bleedingwillow96)
(Source: annienadir, via bleedingwillow96)
becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:
that’s how you make armor for women, no bullshit boob cups.
Just beautiful.
want
Boob cups must be the most uncomfortable things on earth… What the hell are you supposed to do when one of your boobs slips out? Let’s say you inhale or move your chest somehow so your breasts get free from the cup and end up clipped on the edge?? You can’t even pull them like you can when your bra gets all screwed up! Like who wants to wear that while they’re fighting monsters and shit?
I hit reblog so hard I may have sprained my finger
boob cups could also kill you. If you fall on your chest, all your weight will be on the middle of the boob cups and your sternum could be crushed. bye bye heart.
and the fact that this is the Mulan from “Once Upon a Time” makes it even better
(via bleedingwillow96)
mcu has rarely ever disappointed me, but i am definitely disappointed that sif and darcy have yet to meet
like could you imagine how awesome and cute that would be? darcy would totally be swooning over what a badass babe sif is and be like “omg warrior goddess teach me how to fight like you!!” and sif would be more than happy to train a fellow lady fighter, and long story short, they become girlfriends <3
(via fuckyeahdarcylewis)
Darcy ends up working for SHIELD and thanks to Clint and Natasha she know how to get around HQ via the vents. She likes to pop out of them to scare Thor when he’s around.
(via fuckyeahdarcylewis)
- I'm in my father's class at my high school. He said this today:
- Him: As some of you may not know, I'm a feminist.
- class: *laughs*
- Him: No, really, I am.
- Class: *laughs again*
- Him: Why is that funny?
- Asshole: Because you're a man, and you shouldn't think that way.
- Him: Well why not?
- Asshole: I dunno that's just the way that is.
- Him: I'm a feminist because of my wife. She and I have the EXACT same job. Yet, I make more than her.
- Class: *laughs*
- Him: Why is that funny? Shouldn't women be paid equally as men?
- Same Asshole: No, they're supposed to be in the kitchen.
- Him: *slams fist on asshole's desk* Why?
- Asshole: Because that's how it is.
- Him: Why?
- Asshole: That's their job.
- Him: Why?
- Asshole: *can't come up with another answer*
- Him: I'm a feminist because my wife has the exact same job, gets less pay, and with that, I can barely support my three children. If she got paid as much as me, life would be a bit easier for all of us.
- *note, my mother is a teacher like my father*
- Him: Women gave birth to us, and now, here in the state of Michigan, they can't even have their own rights? It's 2014 people! Grow up or get out of my class.
- Class: *silence*
- Him: Now.. Louis XVI
YOU WOULDNT DOWNLOAD A DRAGON
If I could download a dragon all the cops in the world couldn’t stop me
(via bleedingwillow96)
why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that
uh
because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”
and not the slang word for the female genital region?
literally no one else knows this. nobody.
(Source: littlemixens, via bleedingwillow96)
(Source: arcadiuswild, via bleedingwillow96)
Quote of the Day
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes.
–Jack Handey
