Anonymous asked: "You could have had a harem" Oh my god that's amazing.

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Originally posted by redpyrofox

THANK YOU, I’M HERE ALL WEEK

Referring to this 100% accurate and serious post about Gloin’s thoughts on his son’s lovelife, for those of you who are wondering.

jam-art:

thranduil sleeps calmer knowing even if his son married a dwarf at least he married The Supermodel dwarf and singlehandedly crushed the hopes of single dwarves and dwarrowdams everywhere

this is my headcanon and you will never take it from me.

listen, just Listen for a second, okay.

Gimli Gloinul is from the line of Durin okay, he’s from the line of KINGS, his bloodline stands up against Legolas’ perfectly, if the elves and dwarves got their shit together for a hot second they would be like “YES, PERFECT, A DIPLOMATIC MARRIAGE TO BIND OUR HOUSES TOGETHER AND NEVER SHALL THE TWAIN THROW ONE ANOTHER TO DRAGONS…again.”  because you have a king’s son and a king’s nephew which, well, I love Dain but he’s not an EREBOR KING and GIMLI IS FROM THE FAMILY OF EREBOR KINGS.

And Gimli acts like he’s from the line of Erebor kings, too, okay, he’s a diplomat and a warrior and a nobleman, he’s the sort of person who SAYS things like ‘faithless is he who says fairwell when the road darkens’ and stares down Elrond Peredhil in his own home when his strength and faith are questioned.  And he’s the kind of person who swears his allegiance to people he barely knows because it’s Right and Good and Gimli knows it.

And Thorin Oakenshield was handsome, and his sister the lady Dis is beautiful, and Gimli’s cousins Fili and Kili were fine young dwarrows, and Gimli’s mother is a great beauty.

Basically my point here is that Gimli, proud strong gimli with his firebeard hair and bold laugh and mithril tongue and clever fingers, broke the hearts of everyone in Erebor and not a few people outside of Erebor when he married a goddamn elf.  Like.  Not even Arwen Undomiel (WHO MARRIED A GODDAMN HUMAN, it’s been a weird couple of years in Middle-Earth, everyone wonders strongly if they’ve been drinking too much).  Like he’s not even marrying a great beauty of the elves, Legolas isn’t ugly by elvish standards but also he’s nothing particularly special, and he’s not a great diplomat, and he’s BARELY a king’s son because everyone knows that Mirkwood elves are…a little odd.  Legolas is a big cheerful hunter who sings songs he doesn’t remember all of, who chatters to trees and has no sense of the right thing to say even if he’s developed enough self-preservation to know the wrong thing to say, and FOR THE LOVE OF MAHAL HE FIGHTS WITH A BOW.

“GIMLI” Gloin bellows “YOU TURNED DOWN THIRTY-TWO SUITORS FROM FINE DWARVISH LINES FOR THIS”

“Ignore him, amrâlime, he’ll get over it” Gimli says in amusement as he beckons Legolas over to his forge, where he’s carefully smithing mithril-inlaid gold marriage clasps that will grip fine elvish hair.  It’s too hot in the forge to wear shirts, if you’re working.  Every dwarf in twenty feet stops what they’re doing to watch Gimli’s biceps flex as he holds up a jewel for Legolas’ inspection.

“YOU COULD HAVE HAD A HAREM” Gloin wails from down the hall.

(via determamfidd)

did-you-kno:
“During WWI, British soldiers used the F word so often that NOT using it was a better way to really get someone’s attention. For example, ‘Get your f**king rifles’ was normal routine, but ‘Get your rifles’ immediately implied urgency and...

did-you-kno:

During WWI, British soldiers used the F word so often that NOT using it was a better way to really get someone’s attention. For example, ‘Get your f**king rifles’ was normal routine, but ‘Get your rifles’ immediately implied urgency and danger. Source

(via littlestartopaz)

shorm:

shorm:

shorm:

There are two types of people in the world: those who react to learning that you can use touch screens with your tongue with disgust and those who immediately go to lick their phones.

i’m gonna go ahead and assume that the reason this doesn’t have many notes is because you’re all too busy making out with your phones

i’m so glad this has taken off because

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i was right

(Source: shorm, via littlestartopaz)

Tags: laugh rule

words-writ-in-starlight asked: WHY DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS, THERE IS NOTHING HERE BUT PAIN. I mean also that scene where Micheletto tells Paolo to tell him of love and claims to know nothing of it makes me really need to write some stuff for like the first season, BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS.

wildehacked:

OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE SCENE WHERE MICHELETTO AGGRESSIVELY ASKS PAOLO TO TELL HIM ABOUT LOVE. HE’S TRYING TO WEB MD HIS OWN EMOTIONS. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

wildehacked:

HOW IS MICHELETTO TELLING LUCREZIA THAT SHE DOESN’T NEED TO MURDER A PERSON BECAUSE HE, MICHELETTO, WOULD BE VERY HAPPY TO MURDER SOMEONE FOR HER, AND THAT MURDER WOULD BE FROM THE HEART 

SO HOT

THAT IS HOW THIS SENTENCE ENDS

wildehacked:

Me: *looking critically at what is supposed to be a pwp* The problem with this is it needs more set up.
Me: *drafts four pages of an outline for the setup*
Me: I love this I love this I love this
Me: *looking critically at the ending* Does it even NEED the porn

kyraneko:

cumaeansibyl:

amoresophisticatedkrackel:

As much as I love mutual pining and using it for every ship ever, I really don’t picture it applying to young, pre-relationship Baze and Chirrut

Because I imagine it as Baze being completely lovesick, head over heels pining, “I would die if he found out how much I love him but also he keeps accidentally flirting with me and doesn’t he know it’s killing me?”

meanwhile Chirrut never feels like this because he’s under the impression they’re already dating

Chirrut can tell Baze loves him and he can also tell something is eating Baze alive but because he thinks they’re already dating (what do you mean, we didn’t actually have that conversation?) he doesn’t realize it’s unrequited love

so he keeps asking what’s wrong and Baze keeps saying “nothing,” and of course that’s a lie but there’s obvious pain and shame behind it, so Chirrut doesn’t want to push

finally Chirrut gets Baze alone and says “listen, I know something is bothering you and I think you need to talk about it. don’t worry that I’m going to judge you; you’re my boyfriend and I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

it probably takes a good two-three minutes before Baze can say anything but “what” and he’s been cranky ever since

it got better

(via ifeelbetterer)

cadeteyes asked: For your last anon, a quote from Buffering by Hannah Hart "If you're reading this and you think that maybe you love someone of the same gender (or nongender), all I have to say to you is this: Congratulation! You're perfect and wonderful and more alive than you ever knew. Be proud of who you are because you are already more than enough" <3

Thanks, babe!  Hey, anon, one of my fabulous followers is here for you with an excellent quote.