gardnerhill:

startrekrenegades:

accras:

“This video of this adorable little girl encouraging her Dad while he tries to do her hair, is just what we needed to brighten up our day.” [X]

[Dad: How’m I doing on your hair?

Child: Good!

Dad: Let’s see, do I need more grease?

Child: Yes. You need more grease on there.

Dad: More grease? And then what?

Child: And then you gonna need to brush it, and then you put a band on there.

Dad: A band on it?

Child: Yeah!

Dad: Aww..

Child: You’re getting it through! You’re almost done! You’re doing a good job!

Dad: Aww, thank you, sweetheart, so much! Daddy’s trying, doing the best I can. Thank you so much.

Child: You’re welcome!

Dad: I’m almost done!

Child: You been doing great!

Dad: Aw baby, thank you so much, you’re so encouraging to Dad. Thank you.

Child: You’re welcome.

Dad: I really appreciate you so much. You’re so awesome. Daddy getting your ponytails ready for school.]

Interrupting all the political ugliness to make you melt with cute.

(via witchaj)

cassandrashipsit:

standbyyourmantis:

jumpingjacktrash:

ayellowbirds:

glampersand:

fozmeadows:

scienceofsarcasm:

Evening Post: August 12, 1899.
“She immediately alighted, caught hold of the astonished youth, and gave him a sound thrashing, using her fists in a scientific fashion…”

I would love to know what this means.

I think that might be code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”.

it is absolutely code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”

As is the case with boxing, it most likely means that she was precise and methodical. So, yes. She punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy.

“to the delight of several colliers who were passing” just imagining these coal miner bros standing around all WHOO YOU GO GURL

I GOT UR HUGE FLOWER HAT BB KICK HIS ASS

It’s really hard to choose a favorite part of this story.

#goals

(Source: sciencesarcasmandstuff, via johanirae)

221beemine:

stepfordgeek:

rawraceli:

blackraincloud:

unbossed:

star-anise:

Oh hey look, something that ISN’T TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT :D

… Step 1. Realize that you should exercise. Step 2 ? Step 3. HEALTH!

When you’re depressed, that question mark can be a barely navigable labyrinth of garbage fires fueled by physical and mental exhaustion, self-loathing, defeat, and frustration. The last time I found myself trying to hack through that mess during a particularly dark period, I started to come up with my own list of bare-bones, practical tips to help me face the idea of moving again. Now I’m sharing them, in case they might help someone else in a similar position. I stress the word “might.” If you’re depressed, the last thing you need is another a-hole telling you what you should do. But if you’re looking for somewhere to start, I’ve been there too.

First heading? “You don’t have to exercise.” I love this entire piece. It’s going on facebook, that’s how much I love it. A+

“The perfect body is a breathing one. Anything that serves those ends is worth considering. Everything else is noise.”

@221beemine

“Most of these training tips and listicles read like they came from people who have faced very little adversity in their lives, and who think that their own health is entirely the product of their own hard work.”

fucking instant reblog

This is also SO fucking helpful if you have any sort of executive dysfunction issues.  Because, like, okay, exercise might help with the ADHD, but the ADHD is preventing me from doing stuff, and exercise is something I don’t enjoy.  So, no, I’m not going to get through a whole structured workout.  I might maybe do some push-ups while I’m waiting on a print.  And then pat myself on the back for it.

(via muteelfmoonmoon)

freshprinceprs:

somewherinneverland:

rainashizas:

meloetta:

stage 1 of friendship: what’s up ily so much!

stage 2 of friendship: oh god i hope i’m not being too clingy or bothering them

stage 3 of friendship: hey dickhead fucking answer me

Stage 4 of friendship: im outside your house and im coming in

Stage 5 of friendship: I’m already in your house when are you coming home

Stage 6 of Friendship: I’m having dinner with your parents. Are you going to join us

@twistedangelsays

(via littlestartopaz)

Tags: Adler it's us!

writing-prompt-s:

inkskinned:

writing-prompt-s:

A friendship between a time traveler and an immortal. Wherever the time traveler ends up, the immortal is there to catch him up to speed.

when we meet, i’m older but born after her, which is confusing. she was immortal somewhere after the 3rd century, we’re not sure. something about an ancient ritual. a sacrifice. she was twenty. if she ages, it’s nowhere i can see. the cut on her ribs from the ritual never heals. she is constantly annoyed by it.

we met in a meadow, by chance, when i got lost after woodstock. she looked at me with these odd eyes as i stumbled out of the loop, still smelling of sweat and other things. for a long time we stared at each other, she in her peasant clothes, me in tattered peace signs. and then she laughed.

she meets me in london during jack the ripper’s reign. we get tea. i tell her about the future where women are rulers and she snorts. i tell her about medicine. she tells me about witchcraft. i tell her about spaceships. she tells me about books that will die before i get to read them. when she laughs my heart feels funny. i think it’s the death on the wind.

she meets me by the berlin wall. we break it down together. she dances her bare feet in the dust. when she laughs something very small breaks in me. i miss my twenty-third birthday by accidentally going back to the dinosaurs. when i find her in the twenty-second century she’s holding a cake for me, telling me she’d found the signs of my travels somewhere back in twenty fifty-three. we sit on a rooftop and look at the stars and eat cake. i save her a slice. when i go back in time, i find her crying. i don’t tell her how i knew. there is something really beautiful in watching someone break into a smile when they’ve been sobbing.

i don’t know what happens. i stop jumping so much. we’re not supposed to. we’re not meant for long stays, we’ll change fate. just in and out. but hours turn into days. we spend a week in paris in her apartment over the city and i’m silly drunk when she leans over to me. 

kissing her stops time. kissing her stops everything. 

she waits for the future where we are legally allowed to be together. in the meantime i find her in dark corners. she laughs when i get tangled in my own skirts. she shows me a different world. a place where i stay. she knows i have to go. but i can’t help wish i could stay.

time isn’t real. that’s the thing. we experience it only based on our own perception of events. i only realize what’s happening because i stay too long. we are skinny dipping in a cold ocean the first time i notice it. she says something wrong. it’s not a bad mistake. but she doesn’t seem to remember how we got here for a moment. and then, in a flash, it’s gone. we are hiking through the amazon the first time she starts screaming. it’s been a long history. there’s just too much. she has periods of lucidity followed by eons of confusion. everything for her flashes by in an instant. she can’t remember what’s already been invented or what are stories i’ve told. her language is slipping. 

i hold her in a future where she is shaking. i kiss her neck. she smells like summer. “i’m losing myself in it,” she whispers. her skin is still bleeding. “i’m losing it.” i don’t know what to say. infinity is a long time to wait. she experiences time in flashes, sees a hundred years at a glance. and me? i show up and evaporate before she even recognizes me.

if she is mad, i am just as bad. i travel too much to find how to stop this. into parallel universes. outside of the ages. i don’t sleep and i don’t eat and the whole time i hear her screaming. 

it comes to me while i am sitting in the library of alexandria. time isn’t real. if i break the law, time could unravel. i think of her. if it’s worth it. what happens if i’m caught. we aren’t supposed to do things like this. even if we’re in love. 

but i am in love. i am in love.

i open the loop. i could ruin everything. but there she is, crying on the night she will be taken. and my heart breaks. it’s simple. the only way to undo it without leading to ruin is to make sure it never happens in the first place. i take her hand and i give her my loop. she has all of time to explore now. i’ve already seen it. i take her place. 

it is many years later. we meet in a meadow and she laughs.

This is beautiful.

(via littlestartopaz)

kryptonitanott:

words-writ-in-starlight:

dainesanddaffodils:

One of my favorite phrases my Creative Writing professor had for when you’re writing fantasy is ‘giving your story a Flux Capacitor’.

Because it’s not real, it doesn’t exist. But the way it’s thrown into Back to the Future, at no point does it throw the audience off or suspend any more disbelief than time travel would. You believe Doc when he says he created the Flux Capacitor - the thing that makes time travel possible, because the universe never questions him. 

So it essentially means like, there are going to be elements to your universe that are just not gonna make any sense, even if you set up a whole system based on it. And the only way to make it work is completely own it. You cannot second-guess your system or else the reader will too. You can give it the strangest explanation, but write it like you own it.  

Either you’ve got to follow the rules of reality and physics and shit TO THE LETTER, or you have to say “naaaaaah” and fuck off with your magic/sci-fi/whatever to have a marvelous garden party where reality isn’t invited.

*Steps in quietly* hi, i’m Kry and i get stupidly excited when i see posts like this one in my dash.

So, okay, what you are talking about has to do with two very intertwined concepts: one is the concept of verisimilitude, the other is the concept of “fictional pact”.

So the first one is a term that comes from Aristotle (and also Plato, but he spoke of it negatively, as is the habit of the asshole of Plato). The verisimilitude is basically the credibility of a particular element within a book, a poem or a play. It is something that has the appearance of truth (it is not necessarily true, it can be false) for the purpose of persuading someone, getting someone’s attention and maintaining that attention.

That concept of verisimilitude is mixed with the concept of the fictional pact that was born (more or less) of the expression of the poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, “willing suspension of disbelief”: what he meant by this is that when a subject is reading a book must suspend their critical sense, ignoring inconsistencies or incompatibilities of the work of fiction in which the subject is immersed (such as existence of a Flux Capacitor) that may clash with their reality, allowing them to enter and enjoy the world of fiction exposed in the book.

To simplify all this, my friends and I like to explain it in the following way, using “The fossilized mosquito paradigm” of Jurassic Park: “So you have the fossilized mosquito. In our reality (for the moment, mehehe) it is scientifically impossible for this theory to happen. But it has an argument that is sufficiently consistent, believable and possible (aka: verisimilitude concept) to work on a book/movie/video game and to create a pact of fiction by which it is easy to accept that what is narrated could have happened although it is pure fiction.” 

If the plot of the story is sufficiently credible to immerse the reader in the story, it doesn’t matter if it’s a fossilized mosquito that revives dinosaurs or a Flux Capacitor that teleports ya which in reality would be impossible, because what matters is that in your fictional world works enough to suspend those thoughts of doubt and enjoy the story!

recklessprudence asked: "Wait, there has to be a trap here." "But I don't see anything." *"Exactly."*

skymurdock:

for @words-writ-in-starlight: the Star Wars D&D AU. bc nothing makes me feel better than taking the piss out of Anakin in a tabletop game setting.


Ahsoka kicks her feet up on the table, leaning back in her chair. “I pick the lock,” she says, confident.

Padmé looks up from her sheets and says, “Okay, roll for it.”

She rolls, then nearly falls off her chair when she pumps her fist into the air and shouts, “Natural twenty!”

“Aw, come on,” says Anakin, glaring at the dice as if they’ve personally offended him. “You roll twenties for Ahsoka and not for me? I own you, you fuckers.”

Keep reading

a star wars a new hope AU bunny

jerseydevious:

adptt12:

darthstitch:

angelqueen04:

letslipthehounds:

darthstitch:

darthstitch:

See, I probably need to get this out here before it’s potentially jossed by the next new episodes.

In the meantime, consider:

Luke Skywalker being a young Daddy to baby Rey by the time A New Hope begins.

Rey’s Mama has not been fridged, btw.  By mutual agreement, Luke is raising the kid himself and Mama just visits.  Luke still wants to get off Tatooine, but he wants to bring his kid with him because he doesn’t want the little one growing up always and forever wondering about her biological parents, just like he did. 

So Luke has Plans, okay?  He wants to travel the stars but he wants to embark on this adventure with his little girl.

So imagine Luke’s terror when he comes back home to the homestead and finds Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen dead.

Imagine his relief at finding Rey, quiet and terrified in some secret cubbyhole that the Larses once devised for baby Luke.  She was quiet, because Aunt Beru told her to be.  And so she was never found by the stormtroopers. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi, knowing the possible Disaster Scenarios in leaving Rey Skywalker behind (even if she was to be hidden with her biological mama), encourages Luke to bring his toddler with him. 

Han made the obligatory grumbles about having kids on his ship but they’re really just for show and basically Chewie has declared that he’s adopting the Skywalkers, even as he’s happily cuddling the baby girl. 

Han cannot protest. 

When Rey meets her unknown “Aunt” Leia, she takes to the Princess immediately.  

Also, Ben Kenobi does not get killed on the Death Star.  He’s got Skywalkers to look after.  Again. 

Also, Rey would be Very Unhappy with him if she doesn’t have her Grandpa Ben. 

Luke Skywalker has an even bigger reason to make that Death Star shot. 

When a certain wheezy Dark Lord of the Sith finds out the name of the Rebel pilot who destroyed the Death Star, he’s understandably Pissed Off.

When he finds out that said Death Star Destroyer is a happy Cinnabon Roll Sunbaby with his own precious happy Cinnabon Roll baby girl, welp - this just in:  Darth Vader Defects to the Rebel Alliance. 

I’d just like to add more happy/hilarifying headcanons to this:

– Basically Darth Vader does a Hunt for Red October style defection and brings himself and the Executor and her loyal-to-Vader crew over to the Rebellion.

– Also Vader has ALL THE HOLOS of Baby Rey in his private chambers. 

– “Who’s Grandpa’s cute little future Empress?  You are!  Yes you are!”

– “Father, she’s TWO YEARS OLD, you can’t hand her the galaxy to rule just yet!”

– “Well, you and Leia would be her Regents.”

– “FATHER!!!  BEN, DO SOMETHING!”

– “I’m sorry, I must do as Her Imperial Highness bids me.” 

– “Rawwarrrrgaaaaggghhhhhhhh!!”

– “See?  Even the Mighty Chewbacca agrees with me.  Everyone knows it’s best not to argue with a Wookiee.”

— The Clones would totally dote over “The Little Empress” and there’s always a couple of them as her “honor guard.”

– Luke has cottoned on that this is really Darth Vader’s idea of a Dad Joke™ but he knows he has a role to play and dutifully registers his mock protests.

– What Luke doesn’t know is that Vader is totally planning to hand HIM and Leia the galaxy on a silver platter.  This is Anakin Skywalker’s idea of making up for twenty years winning the Galaxy Deadbeat Dad Award™. 

– Ben Kenobi knows that the Skywalker twins are actually going to dismantle the Empire once handed the throne but he’s just happy to let Anakin wreak havoc towards more deserving targets. 

– Also, he thinks “Little Empress” is totally a cute nickname for Rey. 

It got better!

- When Vader first arrives for his scheduled defection, there is some initial tension between him and Obi-Wan, for obvious reasons, but when baby Rey coos and waves at him from Obi-Wan’s hip, he’s like, “Eh, more important things to worry about.”

The Rebels finally realize that Darth Vader was absolutely SINCERE in his defection when they find him helping to change baby diapers and being HAPPY about it.

@jerseydevious

bless you

Let’s Be Real.

angieforpresident:

All this crap about convincing the electoral college to change their votes and these screaming protests about the outcome- it all seems crazy.

But you know what seems a lot crazier? Taking it. Taking a decision foisted on us, taking every damn thing trump and his people hurl at minorities and youths, taking the decision that got made for us by manipulative media and backroom deals and unadulterated hate.

Yeah. Protesting at this point seems crazy. But do you really want to go down in history for not doing Every. Single. Thing. to stop this? Do you want to be recorded as the people who let the most hateful, Racist man since Andrew Jackson into office?

Or are you going to go down as the people who fought tooth and nail at every step and at every damn angle to keep EVERYONE here safe, not just the white majority.

ARE YOU GOING TO LET THE COUNTRY FALL INTO DARKNESS OR ARE YOU GOING TO RAGE AGAINST THE GODDAMN DYING OF THE LIGHT?!?

So go to every protest, volunteer as often as you can, sign those damn petitions. Not just for your own peace of mind but because there’s people out there that can’t and they need you. In the streets, online, and in town halls, America is going to need everyone to do everything they can if they’re going to be ok.

This is about history.  We are at a turning point, here.  So, you tell me: will you and yours be remembered for standing down and letting this happen because you couldn’t be bothered, or will you be the people who stood up and stood firm in defense of those who couldn’t defend themselves?

History has it’s eyes on you.

(via slyrider)

politicalsexkitten:

Please share. 

How to prepare for an immigration raid: 

http://www.nilc.org/get-involved/community-education-resources/know-your-rights/immraidsprep_2007-02-27/

(Spanish and English versions are available)

(via goblinbutch)