Anonymous asked: so much good content here and not enough time for me to catch up h e l p why do u run such a good blog
I’m sorry? Thank you?
In all seriousness though, the answer to your question is “lack of focus and inability to master the impulse to reblog anything I even slightly enjoy.”
Book 7: The Stranger
AKA “The PTSD squad sees the future and finally fucking wins a round, the Ellimist shows his not-face, and Rachel antes up her battle morph”
A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
C: What member do you identify with most?
D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
H: How would you describe your style?
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
Q: How do you feel about collaborations?
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
X: A character you enjoy making suffer.
Y: A character you want to protect.
Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?
(Source: wornquillsandspilledink, via notahotlibrarian)
Michael Fassbender as Macbeth and Marion Cotillard as Lady Macbeth in Macbeth (2015).
(via sarahtaylorgibson)
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
(Source: secretoctopus, via words-writ-in-starlight)
Anonymous asked: What's your opinion of the Prince of Egypt movie?
i sent a pestilence a plague into your house into your bed into your streams into your streets into your drink into your bread! upon your cattle, on your sheep upon your oxen, in your field into your dreams into your sleep until you break until you yield! I - sent - the - swarm - I - sent - the - hoard - thu'saieth the looooord
once i called you brother, once i thought the chance to make you laugh, was all i ever wanted (ISENTHEFIREFROMTHESKYISENTTHEFIRERAININGDOWN.) and even now, i wish that god had chose another, serving as your foe on his behalf, is the last thing that i wanteeeeeeeeeed (I SENT A HAIL OF BURNING ICE ON EVERY FIELD ON EVERY TOWN!) THIS was my home, all this pain and devastation, how it tortures me inside, all the innocent who suffer, from your STUBBORNNESS AND PRIIIIIIIIIIDE (I SENT THE LOCUSTS ON THE WIND SUCH AS THE WORLD HAS NEVER SEEN FROM EVERY LEAF ON EVERY STALK UNTIL THERE’S NOTHING LEFT BUT GREEN!) I - sent - my - scourge - I - sent - my - sword - thu'saieth the looooord you who i call brother, why must you call down another blow, is this what you wanteeeeeeeed I - sent - my - scourge - I - sent - my - swoooooooord LET MY PEOPLE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (THUS SAITH THE LORD) THUS SAITH THE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD
you who i called brother, how could you have come to hate me so, is this what you wanted I - sent - the - swarm - I - sent - the - hoard - then let my heart be hardened, and never mind how high the cost may grow, this will still be so. i will never let. yoooour peeeeeeeopleeeeeee go. (THUS SAITH THE LORD) thus saith the looooooooooord i will not let. (let) your- (my people) gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
@words-writ-in-starlightwait do those tin can phones really work?? I thought this was all a myth.
I just looked up a video this is wild I’m making one tomorrow
in my high school Art 4 class while we were no doubt supposed to be getting ready for a Very important Art Show, two of my friends made one of these phones but instead of talking into it they would write messages and clip it to the string and slide it across the string to the other and when the art teacher asked why they said “we’re texting” and she could not BELIEVE it, this was the FUNNIEST thing she’d heard all year
so she got on her office phone and called the principal and said “two girls are texting in my classroom I need you to come take their phones and issue them detentions” and we all waited like assholes for him to show up and when he asked where they were she gestured at my friends “texting” on their tin can phone and my principal was already a pretty tired dude but that was the most exhausted I think he ever looked.
- Hogwarts house
- favoured RPG class
- would you fuck a clone of yourself
If you don’t want everyone knowing who you are, just send me an ask on anon with your results. I’m curious as to if there’s a correlation between these, because I am a nerd.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Hi!
You may have noticed the healthcare bill was finally released! You may also have noticed that it sucks and people will literally die if it passes! Here’s what you can do!
Call your senator’s office. Say “Hi, my name is (your name). I’m a constituent from (your town) . I’m calling to urge you to vote against the AHCA. Cutting healthcare to children, elders, and people with disabilities to give tax cuts to 400 wealthy families is unconscionable. This will destroy our state’s economy. If it passes (tell them how it will impact you, your family, your town, your friends). I will not vote for any politician who would put my/my family’s healthcare at risk for a few wealthy donors.”
Now, please.
The bill is now called the “Better Care and Reconciliation Act ” so make sure you use the right name!
I’m not kidding, folks, call your damn senator!
(via wildehacked)
Game: You need to be about level 20 to defeat this boss!
Me: oh geez I better go do some grinding
Me, two weeks later overleveled by 80, returning to the boss: I’m your god now
Game: You need to be about level 20 to defeat this boss!
My level 2 ass who is about to have a come-to-Jesus meeting: that is just a recommendation right?
I am both of these people.
(via clockwork-mockingbird)
Vodka Tia Moran