Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

emilysidhe:

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

• Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  
• But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
• Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
• And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!”
• (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
• And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
• So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
• (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
• So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
• “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

Keep reading

Please God someone link me to an English version of this original story so that I can enshrine it in my home.

(via aethersea)

Why You Should Watch Wynonna Earp

knitmeapony:

saiditallbefore:

Who is Wynonna Earp?

Wynonna is the hero of this awesome little show.  Her mission is to break the curse on her family by killing demons (called Revenants).

Revenants killed her father and older sister when she was a kid, so she’s kind of messed-up.  She’s angry, she makes bad choices, she makes a lot of enemies. She’s a complex character and I love her.

But Wynonna isn’t killing Revenants alone!  Her younger sister, Waverly, is right there beside her.  They’ve been estranged for years, but while Wynonna has been traveling, Waverly has been gathering info on all the Revenants they’ll need to put down.  

Look, Waverly is adorable.  She’s a little less messed up than Wynonna, but she’s still got her issues.  And while she has a boyfriend in canon right now, she also has a flirtation with a fabulous lady cop named Nicole Haught (yes, pronounced “hot”).  

The show is produced by Emily Andras, who created was a writer on (thanks to @prydonianrenegade for the correction) Lost Girl, so there’s a fair chance of a f/f pairing in canon!  Plus, Diggin’ Up Bones (ep 5) gave us a m/m pairing among the Revenants, with a sympathetic and interesting backstory.

But!  There are two more main characters to talk about.  Next up, there’s Agent Xavier Dolls.

He’s with the US Marshals Black Badge Division.  He knows about demons, and he gets to deal with the crazy Earp sisters.  He has some dark stuff in his past (involving other towns that dealt with the supernatural).  Oh, and he’s super hot.

(Who am I kidding; everyone in this show is hot.)

The fourth and final lead is Doc Holliday, aka Henry.  

Yep, the Doc Holliday.  He’s back from the dead and may not be on anyone’s side but his own.  He’s mysterious and shadowy and he plays the Revenants and Earps against each other, while having plans for his own revenge.

This show was pitched to me as “gender-flipped Supernatural without the road trip,” and that’s pretty accurate so far.  If you’re looking for high art, this isn’t it.  But if you’re looking for a fun, cheesy, modern-day western set in Canada with two female leads and supernatural elements, then this is the show for you.

Wynonna Earp airs on SyFy (in the US) and CHCH (in Canada) every Friday.  As of today (May 3) only 5 episodes have aired, so there’s plenty of time to catch up!

Image Source

Update: F/F relationship is now 10000000% canon.  Agent Dolls for president.

(via aethersea)

bisexualdinahlance:

AU where the reason the Germans wanted to create a super soldier serum is because of reports from the end of the first World War about a strange woman working for the allies with  remarkable strength and who nearly destroyed an entire weapons base right before the armistice

(via skymurdock)

wonder-trev:

lordsoth42:

effervescent-wallflower:

If you’re feeling disenfranchised by the fact that Marvel Comics is turning all of your beloved superheroes into Nazis, try the Wonder Woman Rebirth comics!

This comic has everything! A diverse cast of characters,

Commander Etta Candy, who is now a black lesbian-or-bi woman,

actual relationships between wlw characters,

Steve Trevor, the most pure example of non-toxic masculinity,

so many complex women,

and of course, actual Wonder Woman, 

a bisexual Amazon princess who fights the forces of evil with truth and love, and also has never turned into a Nazi.

This series is written by the amazing Greg Rucka, who also wrote Wonder Woman: Down to Earth (which is fantastic) and is in my opinion the best writer except for maybe Gail Simone and William Moulton Marston to ever write Wonder Woman comics.

A great recommendation if you want to read the comics after watching the movie

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

wizardlyvassal:

baeddelshinsgirl:

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor.

That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.

*sigh*

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

fuckbangovers:

So at my house we have an intercom in everyone’s room and when you press “talk” and speak into it everyone can hear what you say

So last night at like 1 AM I spoke into it and quietly whispered “Shia Labeouf“ 

I heard my mom scream in the other room

(Source: waifyu, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

wavesssxc asked: I love Diana and Steve so much I honestly don't care how they're together, I just want them together

The immediate gratification part of me agrees with you.

The sadistic bastard part of me really thrives on the pain.

It’s a conflicted way to live.

…….26. I’m not sure why. But it’s true.

*notes down age 26 as next major milestone*

Oddly enough I believe it.