I agree, all men should learn about women’s sexuality by reading My Immortal.
Hi friend! Foz here. Just a couple of points:
- I’ve specified good fanfiction in literally the first tweet. While this is, obviously, a value judgement wherein YMMV, My Immortal is famous for being arguably the most terrible fanfic ever written, and is therefore demonstrably not what I’m talking about. Similarly, I’ve seen other responses to this post bring up 50 Shades, which, despite its popularity in mainstream circles, is pretty much universally regarded as being not just terrible fanfic, but an excruciatingly bad and dangerously inaccurate portrayal of BDSM that romanticises abuse. So no: these are not the droids you’re looking for.
- Here’s the thing, though: you already knew that. The decision to respond to this post with a flippant reference to a fic that’s notorious precisely because of its poor quality is exactly why I used up precious Twitter characters to specify good fanfic, even though I shouldn’t have had to. Every mode of artistic expression is composed of good, bad and mediocre works, but when it comes to genres that are traditionally viewed as less worthy or literary - like fanfiction, or romance - we have a reflexive tendency to conflate the bad with the whole, such that the good is implied to be either exceptional or nonexistant. I specified that I’m talking about good fanfiction, not because I think such fics are an exalted minority, but to pre-emptively combat the assertion that they are, and then you’ve gone and made it anyway. So, thanks for that.
- But while we’re on the subject of quality, let’s make a very important distinction. Though fanfic is a largely unmediated medium, it’s not bad; it’s amateur, in the very literal, dictionary-definition sense of engaging or engaged in without payment; non-professional. While there’s a stereotype that lots of ficwriters are teenage girls - which, why is that always wielded as an insult? oh right, misogyny, carry on - a lot of us are, in fact, grown-ass adults of varying genders, some of whom also happen to write professionally in other contexts; like me, for instance. I’ve read fanfics that are unquestionably as good as, if not better than, many professionally published works I’ve read, some I’ve simply enjoyed or felt meh about, and others where I’ve mounted up on my Nopetopus and ridden off into the sunset after the first paragraph. It’s a grab bag, is what I’m saying, but if you think that’s an inherently different spectrum of enjoyment over quality than applies to any other medium, then I’d politely invite you to reconsider the matter.
- In conclusion: fanfic might not be your bag, but it has its own culture of editing, collaboration, publication, criticism and dissemination, its own conventions and subversions of same, its own extensive history and trope awareness, and, yes, its near-unique status as a medium invested in female sexual desire. That doesn’t mean there aren’t other things straight dudes can do to learn the mystical ways of What Women Want like, oh, say, talking to them, always bearing in mind that women are not a goddamn hivemind, but given that there are a frightening number of guys out there whose first or primary exposure to any type of porn is whatever degrading mainstream het they can scrouge up for free without virusing the hell out of their PCs, then yeah: I’m gonna go out on a fucking limb and suggest they maybe balance it out with some fanfic.
This might be the best summary of the power of fan fiction and its inherent lessons about women’s sexuality that I’ve ever seen.
theactualcluegirl, have you seen this yet? I seem to recall some conversations with you along these very lines. Or I could be imagining them because it just seems like a very you thing.
I’m sorry if I’m afraid of you
or if days of flirting turn to
radio silence, without warning.
I’m sorry if I make you say the words
over and over and over until I believe them.
(I’m sorry if I don’t believe them.)
I will probably spend more time
worrying about losing you than I spend
trying to keep you. Trouble is,
every single time I’ve ever thought
something was too good to be true–
I’ve been right.
Understand,
I will know how to be vulnerable with you,
but I won’t know how not to regret it.
And I have no idea how deep we’ll be
into this relationship before I admit
I’ve never done this before.
Not really.
Not in any way that counts.
Before I admit that I know
how to put my body inside someone else’s
but not how to make it beautiful.
I probably won’t be easy to love.
Too many people loved me badly,
I’m not sure I know how
to do it right."
psA: APRIL IS COMING UP SOON PLEASE DONT BREAK UP W PEOPLE AS JOKES DONT ASK PEOPLE OUT AS JOKES IT FUCKIN SUCKS MAN JUST RICKROLL THEM OR DRAW A DICK ON THEIR FOREHEAD WHILE THEY ASLEEP
also no screamers, epileptic inducing images, or fake messages of “insert person here” has died today on april 1, 2015. Just be cool; not offensive or harmful, yah?
It’s so weird that Daisy Ridley is eyeballing that Lara Croft role in the Tomb Raider reboot, like, sure Star Wars was really big but you can’t just be a beloved space hero in one franchise and also be a big name as some kind of combat archeologist. Who’s ever doubled up like that?
this is eunotosaurus he is like turtle great great gr8 gr8 gr8 grandpa
him ribs big. then l8er u got later on there this dude who got big ribs 2
him name pappochelys we just found him
then those red things (they called gastralia) got real big n it make a plastron n u got the odontochelys
they got hard bellies n big ribs but shell doesn’t come for millions of years but then u got shell n u got proganochelys
he live with dinos he so lucky
shell happens to baby turtle because carapacial ridge goes over their shoulders instead of under wow
here is diagram of human and tortle skeleton after tortle has enslaved human and make him walk like dog for amusement
turtles might be cousins to either lepidosaurs (sneks, lizrds n tuatara) or archosaurs (crocs n birbs) but probably archosaurs turtles are probably related to birbs which is cool
i have a literal degree in zoology and my final capstone thesis was on turtle evolution and phylogeny so this isn’t misinfo buddy buster brown @vulpiximisa fear not
I read this post twice and realized that it is actually the perfect form of science communication for Tumblr. There is nothing factually inaccurate here, despite what you would usually expect of posts with similar syntax. Bless you.
Based on the calculations of an inspired fan, we put together a list of how many galleons you can expect to shell out to peep the next Chudley Cannons game.