team “I want Deadpool to have a boyfriend in the sequel but not to lose Vanessa so how about some sweet polyamory”
(Source: faierieprince, via fireflyca)
the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)
#no but really#why wasn’t anakin a crechemaster#why did they let him major in stabbing?#star wars#queue (tags @cadesama)
OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry, Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin, I’d like to—“
“I’m terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple, Anakin.”
“Thank you, Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah, Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,” the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink, and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately, they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls on.
“I think Jedi Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates! Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after taking over galaxy some time ago.
this post keeps getting better and better
More please! Tagging @systlin, @beautifultoastdream and @karama9
That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless.
Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health.
The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.
After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.
Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.
Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.
Attachments FTW.
God, YES
Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species. Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.
20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy.
yo @buckygreyjoy I think you wanna see this also cc @screwdriver-and-souffle
Reblogging for refrigerator art.
Bernie is losing momentum due to less and less young voter turn out. Nevada would have been ours but the young voter turn out was very low. I hope people actually go out and vote rather than just offering social media support. This is such a pivotal moment in American politics that it would be a huge disservice to the world to not go out and vote in the primary.
(via dyinghistoric)
you know what’s really irritating
when male academics constantly refer to men by their surnames and women by their first names
like you’d never go to a lecture expecting shakespeare to be referred to as “william” but it’s not at all uncommon to sit through an entire lecture in which jane austen is referred to constantly as “jane”
it’s such a petty thing but it just really rubs me the wrong way, like it has a real suggestion of respect and admiration/lack thereof
Male academics almost never discuss how “young female authors died early” or lament how much genius was “lost.”
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Just letting y’all know I’ve scrolled past that “reblog or your mom will die in x amount of seconds” post several times and nothings happened. She’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I promise nothing will happen to your mother if you don’t reblog it. Fuck the person who made that post in the first place because it’s just cruel and does nothing but play around with people’s anxiety.
(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
Shoutout to the people who:
-have symptoms that aren’t visible to others
-are able to function even while in extreme pain
-hide their illness well
-who don’t “seem sick”
-who have flareups at night or other times when no one else sees
-fight a daily battle that others can’t see
-feel like they’re making too big of a deal out of their illness because “it could be worse!”
I see you out there, I feel you, you’re awesome.
(Source: deadpoolsbottombitch, via thepainofthesass)
I was cleaning out my high school Google drive folders, and I just found my old study group’s guide for the AP US History exam. one of our notes is “if two people are arguing and you can only remember one of their names, the other is Alexander Hamilton.”
(via bonehandledknife)
it’s canon that the blaster han gave rey was adapted to fit a smaller grip - he chose it bc he knew it would be the easiest one for her to use. its obviously not chewies and its been on board since before he lost the falcon. han gave rey leia’s blaster.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
this is my fav bc an actual major cause for the fall of rome was the resistance of the wealthy to paying taxes which led to a crumbling of infrastructure but who cares about thaaaaat
“Feminism killed Rome” is my new favorite sentence of all time.
Also ballooning military spending, a widening gap between rich and poor, religious intolerance following the Emperor’s embrace of Christianity, and lead poisoning of the water supply.
*looks at camera*
(Source: grumsal, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Quick reminder that you’re totally allowed to like things without diving completely into knowing everything about them
you like 2 or 3 songs by a band and never listened to more? that’s perfectly okay
you like the Marvel movies but have no interest in reading 50 years of comic books? totally fine
you only play one or two videos games, mostly on your cell phone? they’re fun!
you read and enjoyed the Harry Potter books but don’t care about looking into crazy theories and clues planted in the stories? It’s not for everyone!
You don’t need to meet a requirement to enjoy something and anyone who claims you do is an elitist and an asshole
This, this, this, THIS, THIS!!
(Source: mattjosephdiaz-blog, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
